Do nice girls finish last too? Over at another blog, there was a discussion about men who feel that nice guys finish last. What about us girls. Girls look like this:
Often get overlooked by girls who look like this:
I know guys are visual creatures and looks matter. I really understand that. But do the guys want the girls who show skin vs. the girls who just want to go to work or get to class everyday.
I used to be a nice girl. I figured if I had a sparkling personality (which I don't), acted somewhat normal (which I am not), and just dressed like I felt comfortable dressing, the guys would come. They didn't. I was exposed to a lot of guys, I would say back before I was married, the majority of my friends were guys. I get along with guys better. Women are insecure, too insecure, to the point they lash out at people. They talk behind your back and then start hating you for no reason. I am too sensitive for that. Guys are insecure too, but a few beers and some video games, it is all good. I am not competition to them. Of course to most of my guy friends I was like their sister, their buddy, I was in the "friend zone", which I was totally ok with, for the most part.
I remember in college my outfit of choice was baggy overalls or baggy jeans and a shirt with doc martens (it was the 90s ok). Everything was over sized and baggy. Then one day I discovered something really, really crazy, and it took a guy friend to point this out, I have really huge boobs. DDs, yeah, I will have back surgery in a few years and a lift or else I will be tucking my chest into my jeans. I think subconsciously for a long time I wore baggy things to cover up so people wouldn't notice. People notice DDs, baggy shirts or not as my friend pointed out. I decided to accentuate my assets (i.e. wore clothes that fit), put on make up, and not wear a pony tail all the time. All of the sudden I was pretty to all my friend's friends and even some of my friends thought I was all the sudden pretty because I actually looked like a girl. I got out of the friend zone with at least two friends, even though at that point they were in the friend zone with me.
The moral of the story is I had to slut it up to be noticed. At least as slutty as I could get for me, which means wearing a shirt that fits, because when I do that my boobs are very noticeable, like noticable like this:
Pretty slutty huh? For the record the butt on the chest look ain't really pretty to me, I don't understand why it is attractive to folks.
I had one friend from high school that I had a crush on from the time I met him. I was totally enamored. He wore the coolest clothes, had the coolest taste in music, we could talk for hours, and he would actually say stuff like "you are the perfect girl, why are you single?". I was wondering the same damn thing too, why was I single? Why wasn't he asking me out? This is why he wasn't asking me out. His preference was this:
I don't look anything like that, I look more like this:
Note the preference for him was a white girl who was a tall small chested girl with no thighs. I am the complete opposite.
So then I started dating another guy, we kind of started getting serious (which back then was a relationship lasting longer than a month) and to the guy I had a crush on for years finally came around and decided he wanted me. He professed his love for me and how he couldn't stand that I was with someone else. Hello!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Why didn't you say any of this when I was sitting there like an idiot lusting after you as you drool after some tall rail thin model type?
I think guys are vocal about what they lust, they aren't so vocal about what they really want. So they will talk to the girl who is a complete hottie in their eyes, but the girl they hang out with and can talk to beyond five minutes is the girl they want to wait around for them when they decide they want to settle down and want something more than sex. Girls are the same way, we go for bad boys and thugs, and then come to our senses and want the good guys later on.
I think most people want what they can't have. I wanted the guy who didn't want me, he then wanted me when I didn't want him. I think people get together finally when they can admit what they want and be vocal about it. I wanted a relationship, my husband wanted a relationship. I like tall white guys with dark hair and green or blue eyes and he likes average height (I am not short!!!) black girls with bootys. It was perfect timing and our physical preferences merging that caused us to get married. Incidentally he met me in my "slutting it up" phase and now he would kill me if I left the house with the "girls" out on display like I had them back then. The really sad thing is, he said he was more concerned about my butt than my boobs and only became a boob man because coincidentally I had boobs.