2007-12-23
I LOVE WHITE MEN PERIOD.
I love white men. I always have and suspect I always will. I married my husband and am happy for it, I didn't do what my mother wanted I followed my heart. I went after a guy who fit my ideal. Dark hair, green eyes, and pale skin. If I were to get divorced tomorrow, I would say more than likely I would end up with another white guy. That is just what I prefer. Why do I prefer white men. I am not really sure, it is just what I like. Is it because I don't like black men? No. Black men don't fit into the equation of why I like white men. I had positive black male role models all around me. I had a tendency to not want to date them though, I had crushes on white guys ever since I could remember. From the red headed boy Charlie in kindergarten to the blond guy Scott I went to prom with in high school. Even now I have a teen girl type crush on Cillian Murphy. I have dated black men and Hispanic men. I am willing to date anyone I deem attractive, it just seems I have a preference for white men. Should I have a reason for this attraction? Do I hate my blackness? Or do I just have something wired in my brain that attracts me to white men? Is there a justification for this attraction? I don't think there is. Attraction is attraction. I don't have to hate black men to love white men. I don't have to hate myself to love a white man. As long as I am not hurting anyone else, what is the issue?
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40 comments:
I dated a black man once, but honestly he reminded me too much of my brothers and it skeeved me out. Maybe that's why I don't feel sexual attraction toward black men. It doesn't mean that I don't like them as people or as friends.
Siddity,
YAY!!!!
I love the open admission. So far I have been the pariah on C1's blog. Its time for BW with this preferance to stop being shy.
I confirmed the strength of my preferance when hanging out with my female AA friend and she would keep pointing out cute guys and I was always looking for the white guy then she would point me to the Blacks or others. I noticed that not only do I have a strong preferance but also I don't see the other guys either.
Yeah it is C1's blog that inspired this post, I get sick of talking about how sorry black men are. Why do I care about black men, if I am interested in relationships between black women and WHITE men.
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Anon:
I don't think it is so much me thinking of black men as brothers, but rather just a preference for white features so to speak, it doesn't mean I don't find black men attractive, I have lusted after many a black man LOL
"I don't think it is so much me thinking of black men as brothers, but rather just a preference for white features so to speak, it doesn't mean I don't find black men attractive, I have lusted after many a black man LOL"
Siddity,
As for lusting after black men. I remember appreciating the handsome ones but never lusted as much as with the White guys. I am beginning to think that there is something not quite right with all that. I have been on the look out for handsome black men. I even put a profile on black singles. But with every match I get it simply confirms my lack of attraction towards them.
As for bashing them. I wonder what BW gain in doing that. Really! Why? If you don't want to date them just don't.
I think you all suffer from low self esteem. Look, love IS colorblind, if you fall in love with a white brotha fine, end of story. But I honestly feel that you do not believe black is beautiful. You parade around with white men like you tha queen of the world cuz you got a white man. You do, don't lie. You do not feel special enough in your own right, and maybe society is to blame, who knows? But just be honest,you think white is better, otherwise, why make an issue of this? I am an African American Woman and you embarrass me, you play into the myth that our race is inferior. Shame on You.
Anon:
Be ashamed, I don't care what you think. There is a difference between what you think and reality. In reality I have dated men of all races, I just have a strong preference for white guys. I am no longer going to apologize for that. I will stand up for a black man in a heartbeat, but just because I am with a white man, it does not mean I have turned my back on the black community. It is people like you who turn your back on me because of your warped perceptions of my life. I don't brag I have a white man, I brag because I have a gorgeous, successful man who adores me. I am sorry if that bothers you.
I don't want you to apologize for having a "Strong" preference for white men, but you should address it. Your the one broadcasting that you love white men and I'm not sure why. I think your preference is somewhat warped because we live unfortunately in a racist world where white men are still are in the position of power, I mean do they need anymore accolades? Look, I have no animosity against you. I wish you the best. But in regards to your husband, I think his best trait to you is the color of his skin,and I think you should examine your thinking.
Best Wishes
My post in question was in regards to another blog in which SOME women were dogging black men to justify their preference for white men. I don't understand that, I don't justify myself by stereotyping others, that is just not how I work.
In terms of me and my husband, skin color can only last so long. We have been married four years and together eight. If it were based just on skin color alone, it would have ended years ago. You don't know anything about my husband other than that he is white, you came up with the conclusion I was with him because he was white. If that was the case I would have taken any old white man, and trust me I could have been with other white men before my husband and after, I just like and love him.
You should address why you feel based upon one blog entry out of the several posted here that I hate black people and only like white men because I hate myself and only love whiteness.
" But just be honest,you think white is better, otherwise, why make an issue of this?"
Society and silly people like you make it an issue, that's why.
Society and silly people like you make it an issue, that's why.
Exactly. Your blog wouldn't exist if people like this weren't so vocal. I think she should be happy I found happiness instead of trying to analyze me. Instead she is looking for self hatred. I love being black, I just also love my husband, and I just happen to have a preference for white men. Would I overlook a great black man just to get a white man, no, but I will say if two men are on equal footing more than likely I would be attracted to the white guy more. That is just how I am wired.
These anons are something else. You went from being called a mammy to being a worshiper of all things white in less than a week! I can't wait to see what next week brings! Maybe then folks will realize it's not just one extreme or the other.
Siditty,
I think you and I should collaborate on a "What kind of mammy are you?" quiz b/c it seems like you're one (a Redux Mammy) if you don't despise black men with every cell in your body and you're still one (Old School Mammy) if you like white men TOO much.
It's a shame that this is such a hot, controversial topic in these days. What have our Black ancestors fought for if not for the right of us to be considered above all, as humans, first?
Yan,
I love your line, "anony(mouse)". lol, so poignant. Atleast, I think it was you who used the term. Now, I refer to the trouble ones as the anonymice.
"These anons are something else. You went from being called a mammy to being a worshiper of all things white in less than a week! I can't wait to see what next week brings! Maybe then folks will realize it's not just one extreme or the other"
Yan aka Anon hater,
you crack me up. Jeez wish I had come down to SD now.
I dont get the whole self hatred thing. So according to this thinking, one should have so much self worth and therefore never see white men as sexually attactive but only by accident ?
Now I see a new category emerging, black women that love WM but will ferrociously defend BM. What are we? Mammy sel fhaters?
Yan:
I made a quiz in honor of you LOL
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I dont get the whole self hatred thing. So according to this thinking, one should have so much self worth and therefore never see white men as sexually attractive but only by accident ?
Grata:
It doesn't make sense at all. I don't understand it either. I could see if I said, I hate all black folks, but dang, I said I prefer white men. Call me the black KKK.
TBT,
I think I did use anonymouse at least once. I use assholymous, too!
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Grata,
I told you to come to SD. You would have had your own bed and everything!
It's impossible to sort out all of the mammy business.
I saw Stardusky is at another blog saying that out hot wm lists at C1's blog were just perfunctory cover-up attempts. Whatever. The truth is, I don't care how much any bw loves white men or even why- but when you make problems that show you to believe you think being black is a pathology and that dating white is a way to escape blackness, then I would say you have self-hatred.
I don't think the above applies to you or Siditty nor most of the bw at C1's blog. But for some people, "I love white men, I prefer white men" is enough for the self-hatred siren to go off. I feel the same way about black men who date out, if he just prefers ww, that's ok but if he can only talk abut his preference by making all bw out to be undesirable and pathological, I think he has some issues.
Personally, I don't find White men sexually appealing. But hey, do whatever works for you. ;)
What you eat doesn't make me sh*t.
I love white men too! Eversince I was little, I just like their fair skin, blue eyes, straight hair, thin lips...everything. And I don't mind that they have little purple peckers. Gee, Bill Gates, Don Imus, Carrot Top, Paul Giamotti, Robin Williams, man the list goes on! White men are just so much more cultured and intelligent than black men . Seriously, I can't relate to black men, they just listen to rap music and want sex anyways. I'm just hot for white men. I mean, who wouldn't want a white man? I love white men so much that I don't even see black men. Black men are almost invisible to me. What's the damage in that I wonder? Oh well, who cares, I'm going to continue preferring white men and letting everybody know about it because again, I don't see the damage in it.
P.S. if you think this is sick, read your own comments
I kinda agree with anonymous. Be attracted to whoever you want but there is really no need to make an issue out of it. I don't think you are self-hating but maybe a teeny weeny part of you feels the need to justify your preference. IMO there is no need for that. Now what we really need out there are more white men becoming more vocal or open in their support of bw..so far as I can tell it's only C1 doing this - without a picture of himself. I cannot quite make out the message behind sangraneths blog. Perhaps I am missing something?
Little purple peckers.....uuuhhhh yeah, I quit reading after all that nonsense.
avidbloggirl:
I posted this in response to some comments made at another blog. I was referred to as a mammy because I felt that stereotyping and tearing down black men was wrong. My whole point of this post was to say I like white men, not because black men have wronged me, not because black men are evil, but just because I do.
I have found you are mammy for protecting or defending black men, you are also a mammy for dating white. You can't win.
Well I guess this is NOT one of the Anon's from C1's blog! LOL. My god.
I think this has a lot to do with where a person grows up and also the fact that white people are glorified in American culture and media.
"I don't mind that they have little purple peckers"
You really haven't ever seen a white penis in person, but nice try
though.
"Personally, I don't find White men sexually appealing. But hey, do whatever works for you. ;)"
Your point is?
I think that people can have preferences which everyone does. i think that they need to be conscious of why they have them--sometimes it is not as innocent as we would like to think. I love white men, but I am also conscious of the fact that this is not without accident.
I had a friend, who is asian, who only went out with non-asian men. I remember asking her why that was, because there are some asian men that I found attractive. She just told me that she thought they were ugly. I asked her how could she find someone who looked like herself ugly. She said that she hated the way that she looked and had been told in the predominantly white school where she grew up that no one wanted someone with a pancake face. To look at her now, you would think well she is just another asian woman who likes to date white men, but I think that although she is free to make that choice, she should also be conscious of why she made it.
I think this has a lot to do with where a person grows up and also the fact that white people are glorified in American culture and media.
beautyinbaltimore:
Definitely true. I grew up around nothing but white people. The few black guys I grew up around dated white women. I was always approached by white guys. I think that is why I have the preference I do.
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You really haven't ever seen a white penis in person, but nice try
though.
C1:
They obviously are just angry folks who can only assume instead of have actual knowledge. I would run for dear life if I saw a purple penis.
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I think that people can have preferences which everyone does. i think that they need to be conscious of why they have them--sometimes it is not as innocent as we would like to think. I love white men, but I am also conscious of the fact that this is not without accident.
Anon:
You are right. I know my preferences are probably due to my upbringing. It isn't an accident. I will say I have dated various races of men, I don't exclude men. A great guy is a great guy. I think there is a strong difference in liking something vs. worshipping something though.
"You are right. I know my preferences are probably due to my upbringing."
I can only imagine where my preferences come from.
We should also remmember Siditty, that as a black woman and a white man, the worst preferences that we could have are each other. That statement goes for both the white and black communities.
We should also remmember Siditty, that as a black woman and a white man, the worst preferences that we could have are each other. That statement goes for both the white and black communities.
You are telling the truth. To many of my black female friends they don't understand why I like white men. They are in love with or waiting on their black man. I know many times that when I talk to people and they realize my husband is white, they either assume he grew up in a trailer park or is an eminem clone, it baffles people when they realize he isn't some weirdo reject. It is out of the realm of possibility a attractive white man with a decent job could be interested in black women.
I can only imagine where my preferences come from.
Sometimes we can't explain it, we like what we like
Purple peckers. Hey, wasn't there a song about that? Oh, wait. That was Purple PEOPLE Eater.
I am the one who wrote about being conscious of where your preferences come from. I wonder how many women who date interracially grew up in predominantly white environments? I know that I did
"You parade around with white men like you tha queen of the world cuz you got a white man. You do, don't lie"
I wish this were true in my case. In America especially, I feel uncomfortable going out with a white guy.
To me its pure attraction and if I could live in a vacuum with out society's eyes I would be happy.
I understand the concept you mean. I call it the oscar winners attitude, "Look I have a WM" And I find it embarrasing too.
"I told you to come to SD. You would have had your own bed and everything!
It's impossible to sort out all of the mammy business"
That was exam time for me, so mission impossible.
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"White men are just so much more cultured and intelligent than black men ".
Anonymous,
I am okay with the rest of your post except that. I have grown up seeing seeing very intelligent and cultured black men. These were Africans. I am not sure if you are including them in your genralization.
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"You really haven't ever seen a white penis in person, but nice try
though."
C1,
I hadn't figured out what that person meant. I thought they meant lips. Well well.......
"Personally, I don't find White men sexually appealing. But hey, do whatever works for you. ;)"
Your point is?
Exactly.
"We should also remmember Siditty, that as a black woman and a white man, the worst preferences that we could have are each other. That statement goes for both the white and black communities".
Very encouraging C1. True though. We are a tragic lot.
This is why people have to understand that for some, it is not a conscious choice to prefer each other. Why go through the trouble. I would choose BM first if my body, mind and Soul would follow.
I am happy for those open to all types of men.
I am beginning to believe that my tedency to be sexually attracted to anyone is very low and only gets active with White men.
What can I say. Even the person I call the love of my life who happens to be African sensed my preferance and became massively insecure.
**********************************
"I am the one who wrote about being conscious of where your preferences come from. I wonder how many women who date interracially grew up in predominantly white environments? I know that I did"
I grew up in a 99.999% black environment with no TV in my early years. How do you explain that. The first WM I saw were in movies and they were cute. The BM I considered them my tribes mates but never saw them in a sexual nature.
And always looked at the foreigners with that curiosity. My sisters grew up the same way but they don't find WM attractive.
Siditty sd: "I love white men. I always have and suspect I always will. I married my husband and am happy for it, I didn't do what my mother wanted I followed my heart. I went after a guy who fit my ideal. Dark hair, green eyes, and pale skin. If I were to get divorced tomorrow, I would say more than likely I would end up with another white guy. That is just what I prefer. Why do I prefer white men. I am not really sure, it is just what I like. Is it because I don't like black men? No. Black men don't fit into the equation of why I like white men. I had positive black male role models all around me. I had a tendency to not want to date them though, I had crushes on white guys ever since I could remember. From the red headed boy Charlie in kindergarten to the blond guy Scott I went to prom with in high school. Even now I have a teen girl type crush on Cillian Murphy. I have dated black men and Hispanic men. I am willing to date anyone I deem attractive, it just seems I have a preference for white men. Should I have a reason for this attraction? Do I hate my blackness? Or do I just have something wired in my brain that attracts me to white men? Is there a justification for this attraction? I don't think there is. Attraction is attraction. I don't have to hate black men to love white men. I don't have to hate myself to love a white man. As long as I am not hurting anyone else, what is the issue?"
COPY THAT!!!
Grata sd: "...I don't see the other guys either."
I dont "see" bm or any other men for that matter so I choose not to waste their time and mine pretending that there could potentially be something. I love WM and it ends there.
C1 sd: "I can only imagine where my preferences come from."
Copy that. Sometimes it has nothing to do with upbringing or environment. Sometimes it is what it is...
My sister doesnt "see" wm just as much as I dont "see" bm. We are of the same mother and same father. Same upbringing but 2 totally different people and more so when it comes to our choice of men.
Happy New Year!
I'm pleased to see that a lot of you folks are discussing racial preferences.
And really, do you really think that all white men have purple peckers? It was a joke. Laugh. I was being facetious.
I've dated Black, White, and Latino men. I never get stares when we go out and I've always wondered why this was because it doesn't seem to be the norm. I've concluded the reason is because I either look racially ambiguous, or people resond to the fact that I'm not trying to make a scene and that I'm just dating people who I think are nice.
If you're not exhibiting any self-hatred, or reverse racism good for you. However, your desire to date exclusively out of your race just means that you are real shallow.
Peace
Same here. I in no way, shape, or form hate black men. I have yet to engage in a relationship with a white man because I have never been asked out, but I would go, not because black men ain't shit, but because this man is here, asking me out to dinner..etc.
holler...
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