Porn and relationships. In an earlier post, I talked about having an online friend I looking very similar to a porn actress I saw in some explicit spam. I said that I couldn't date someone that had done porn. I am wondering am I alone in that mindset, why do I have that mindset?
I asked my husband would he date a woman in the adult entertainment industry, provided of course he was single. He said no. But I got to thinking, I know he knows I was not the virgin Mary when we got together, I knew he wasn't virginal either. So what is the difference between doing it on camera or doing it in private? He basically felt, even though he knew I wasn't a virgin, at least he couldn't see my past, but if you do porn it is there forever haunting to you. He prefers to think I was a virgin before we were together.
I understand porn can haunt you for years. You did it for six months, but your image gets used over and over again, in tons of different movies, magazines, and web sites. It could be used for years. Obviously, even though people don't admit it, porn is a huge industry, so a ton of people are watching it, and a ton of people are buying it. What if someone recognizes them, what if you bring them home to your family and sibling, or parent saw them. What if your family approached you about it? What do you say? How do you react? So if you are willing to watch a girl or guy doing it, shouldn't you be open to dating that same girl or guy you watched? Would you be open to dating them if they stopped working in the industry for you, or would you be ok with them continuing to do it? Is it hypocritical to stop people from doing what they want to do, or for you to watch what they do, but not want to date them?
If they quit working in the industry, how do they financially adjust. I had a friend in college who stripped at a club in Dallas (surprise a stripper in Dallas, until a couple of years ago, Dallas had more strip clubs per capita than any other city in the U.S.). She made a ton of money while going to school. More than her job offers once she finished school offered. She is a degreed stripper, the money was just too good to give up, even though it was a part time job to help pay for school. My part time job in college was working at the mall and then becoming a part time admin. My job offers made me feel rich. Her plan now is to marry one of her patrons who is very wealthy, and buys her stuff constantly. She is going to quit stripping and he is going to take care of her. It definitely pays to strip.
So what do you guys think? You think you would be open to dating a stripper, porn star, or any one else in the adult entertainment business?
14 comments:
My sister was a stripper until she got pregnant with my neice. She mad TONS of cash. At one point I was working contruction 7 days a week 10 hrs a day with all the overtime I was pulling home about 1,400 a week.(eight years ago) My sister joked and said "I made 900 dollars in about 6 hours last night" The man she is with now (significant other and biological father) hated the fact that she stripped. Maybe thats why she got pregnant, I never asked. My sister now works for an online brokerage service, getting her series seven licence and some other licences. She doesn't make the same amount of money and my sister said that was the hardest part about quiting the strip life. The other thing she states is that she never appreciated the money she made while stripping. Blowing 300 dollars at a seafood restaurant was no thing for her, now thats half her paycheck. Also if she hadn't stripped she wouldn't have made the connections to get the job where she's at now.
I personally believe stripping is slightly different than being in the porn business. As you said Porn is FOREVER. Its almost like the mark of Kane. People's memories fade but if its on tape/dvd er blueray... whatever, Your image is caught in megapixel highdefinition crystal clearity. The most intimate parts of your body get ingrained into other peoples gray matter.
I say if its ok with you and its ok with your partner GREAT!!! have a long and happy life together. You better make sure your honest with that person, even if they may not want to know about the past. The idea "whatever happened before is in the past and I don't want to know" is totally bypassed if the husbands buddy shows up and sais "DUDE!!! I saw your wife in backdoor hookers 25!!!"
While I can accept the fact that my significant other has been with other people, I'd rather not know who they all are. And I would worry that people I know would see it. And there has got to be some sort of STDs running through the porn industry.
I wouldn't because in my experience most people in the various aspects of the sex industry have emotional issues and a level of baggage and drama I wouldn't care to deal with.
This is quite a tough issue to get around. I do agree with what Roslyn said about these people in the industry having issues. However, if I loved the person, maybe the past could simply be the past.
Also if she hadn't stripped she wouldn't have made the connections to get the job where she's at now.
Exactly, I know lots of former dancers that have gotten jobs working for their former patrons. I am jealous. I have never figured out networking, and I hate kissing ass and pretending, not good for the business world. I am seriously contemplating going back to school and getting a mindless job because of that, I don't think I fit in well in the corporate world.
I personally believe stripping is slightly different than being in the porn business.
True, it is, but it has it's own set of issues and dilemmas. I know my friend was seen as a challenge by many patrons. They would flash extra money at her if she was willing to do extra things. Of course even if she didn't, I am sure there were others who were open to doing extra favors.
The idea "whatever happened before is in the past and I don't want to know" is totally bypassed if the husbands buddy shows up and sais "DUDE!!! I saw your wife in backdoor hookers 25!!!"
LOL
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And there has got to be some sort of STDs running through the porn industry.
On youtube there is a woman who vlogs and she used to be in the industry. She basically said that the rules they have in place for testing are VERY LAX and she wouldn't be surprised if there was not another outbreak, apparently Belladonna just came out a few months ago telling the world she had herpes and had to retire out of the business.
One thing I don't understand is for people who are actively in the business, how do they maintain relationships or do they just tend to stick with people who understand them and are in the business themselves?
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I wouldn't because in my experience most people in the various aspects of the sex industry have emotional issues and a level of baggage and drama I wouldn't care to deal with.
There is definite baggage for a lot of these women. I have heard stories about women having to be high or drunk just to get onstage. That they have issues with men, that many are very self destructive. I guess though there are a few who can handle it.
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However, if I loved the person, maybe the past could simply be the past.
C1:
I think that is my problem, the past wouldn't be the past, because the DVDs, the pictures on the internet would always be there and could possibly "pop" up. I don't know how I could deal with that. I guess it would also depend on the porn, was it soft core porn where the sex is simulated or was it hardcore "World's Biggest Gangbang" or "Scat Love". I just saw the two girls one cup video, and so now I am scared. You gotta wonder who is dating those girls?
"I just saw the two girls one cup video"
? on above comment
Believe me, somebody is dating those girls, women are always in demand, baggage and all.
C1:
It is a vile video. Seriously I nearly vomited watching it. Youtube has tons upon tons of videos showing people's reaction to it.
I would have a hard time explaining the video, but it is very vile.
Here is a link, but you have been warned, this is the worst thing I have ever seen. Even worse than the "Faces of Death" movies.
http://2girls1cup.com/
Please for the love of God don't watch it, seriously.
"Please for the love of God don't watch it, seriously"
Well now I have to watch it. Sorry I have no impulse control.
OHHHHHHH......... Im Blind!
oh myyyy goddd!!! uhh ok that was terrible, I think nearly every guy alive would draw the line there.
C1 and Casper/mr.:
I told you guys not to watch!!!!!! Seriously, I had the shivers for two days thinking about that video.
Now I am wondering who is dating those two women? Are they ok with their past?
I already unfortunately had watched that video, having seen a link elsewhere. Even the memory...ugh. So glad I already planned on fasting today.
Anyway, no, I would not be open to dating a sex worker. Not retired or current. I'm not a connoisseur of porn. Stripping is good money but I wouldn't go for that. I used to joke about becoming a dominatrix, though. You get to keep all your clothes on, order a man to clean up the place or whatnot, and get paid. what's not to love?!
Ok, since I did not get to vote on your poll about this. I would say no, but who am I kidding? If Lacey Duvalle or Candace Von came up to me, I'd have to say yes to the date, there, I said it.
I co-sign with Roslyn's comment
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