OK I am hitting on the touchy subject of black hair. As you know I am natural. I have been for pretty much the duration of my relationship. But I have an admission. I was addicted to the ceramic hot iron. I couldn't get away from the straight look. I would spend two hours once a week straightening my hair. Once it was straight it would stay straight. No water touched that hair until the next washing. No humidity. No running your fingers through it or messing it up. I wrap it up at night. I know that satin bonnet looked sexy as hell to my husband. The hair has been a pretty minute issue in our relationship, but it has come up. If you want to take a shower together, it better be on wash day so messing up my hair is not done in vain. I am running to and from the building on rainy and humid days. I can't be outside all day. I can't be sweating at the gym, I have to glisten and then make sure my hair wasn't exposed to said glisten. Again no getting carried away and playing in my hair.
I think that white guys don't think about the time spent to make black hair straight. It is a lot of effort. So when they ask you things like if you want to go swimming or if they can play in your hair, they don't understand why you look at them so crazy. Or when you looked at him crazy because on the way to the mall, restaurant, etc. it started raining and you were not trying to get our hair messed up by walking casually into said place. My husband didn't know about the black hair issues. He was innocent as all get out when he saw me put in my last relaxer and asked "Why do you put that stuff in your hair?" Understanding the concept of relaxer, but not fully understanding the concept. He once asked me could my hair grow. When I met him my hair was much shorter. I started growing my hair to show him my hair could grow. Now he has decided he likes longer hair so I have been encouraged not to cut it, but keep it at its current length. He still likes it when I get a wild hair up my ass and straighten it. But he likes it curly too. I think he likes a curly a little bit better because it is less maintenance for me and less time. He likes the braid outs too, but doesn't like the day I go around the house looking like Celie from The Color Purple the day before I do the braid out.
I am natural now. One really cool thing about being natural is I can get my wet. My husband can touch and play in my hair because now a little shea butter and spritz and I am good. I can work stuff out with a little product and not look too crazy.
13 comments:
LOL...I wear braids. I do it for me as it is less maintenance(I'm getting lazy in my old age!) If I had to spend all this time on my hair, I'd cut it off!
Getting ready to duck the cannons but…..your hair doesn’t look nappy or kinky (curly 3c) I don’t see the big deal going natural. If you had 4b plus hair then I’d get it. Not being bitchy (or intending evil)but I'm serious. If I had hair like yours it would be a no brainer.
I went natural about a year into our relationship. The dh loves it, though he was confused when I cut all my hair off. (Had I known we were getting married in less than a year I would not have done this, but it worked out okay.) As it grew out all fluffy and soft he can't keep his hands out of it. Now that I've got long locks he thinks they're as sexy as hell.
I think he likes the convenience of wash and go hair and not having to wait while I spend half a day at the salon. He likes the fact that it doesn't take me nearly as long to get ready when we go places. All in all, going natural was one of the best things I've ever done for myself.
"I am running to and from the building on rainy and humid days. I can't be outside all day. I can't be sweating at the gym, I have to glisten and then make sure my hair wasn't exposed to said glisten. Again no getting carried away and playing in my hair".
The whole process soungs SO exhausting. I wonder at women who go through that every day.
I am not growing mine while I am in school, simply because of no time. In my country the older women tend to keep it short , esp if they are very active in community or nation building issues because it is simply too much time they could do more important things with. I know they sound like mammys but someone has to do the job.
I love natural hair but I dont have a clue what to do with it... I look wild like Liya Kebede most of the times when I have my hair natural only it's much shorter than her's since I only started growing it in Aug.
I am however addicted to the straightening iron like you and I cant seem to get away from it. I want so much to break away from that and just have my hair natural 24/7.
Any tips of natural hairstyles I can wear???
mysteredancer:
The more low maintenance for me, the better. I totally understand the braids.
------
anon:
I am 3c, but it is still considered nappy to some. You don't know how many black women would give me their beauticians information so I could get my hair done. But with the right product all hair is wonderful and manageable, it is just being able to care for it. I think one sad thing about being African American is that we have been told so long our hair is not good enough, most of us don't know how to care for our hair in its natural state.
-------
roslyn:
Being natural is wonderful. If I had known what I knew now when I was straightening my hair in vain, it could have been so much easier for so many years.
----
".
The whole process soungs SO exhausting. I wonder at women who go through that every day.
Grata:
From childhood a lot of girls get their hair straightened, they know no other way.
-----
Soila:
All I ever really do is wash and gos. I just started attempting braid outs. The really weird thing I do is avoid "cones" in my hair products and I use regular conditioner as a leave in. It makes my hair really soft.
Its great to have natural hair.
Mine has been natural for 4 years now however,I like to rock the straight look sometimes also.
Currently I wear extensions so as not to damage my long natural hair. The strands are not super duper glossy straight but more of a relaxed unglossy look.
I know the extensions are not popular based on some blog comments I've seen (on other blogs-not here). But hair is not a political issue for me. Or most non-bm.
Whether we wear the hair in an afro, braids/cornrows with or without extensions or wefted and various dyed colors of our 'natural' hair...if it looks clean, well kempt and is not a problem for the wearer of said styles, its all good.
When all is said and done, most of us do 'something' to our hair that is not God given.
Siditty your hair looks great! More than anything it looks very healthy and thick. To have wash & wear is indeed divine.
I can't beleive how my folks have issues with their hair when i read some of the various blogs. Generally I get my hair relaxed every 5-6 weeks. I am NOT afraid to get it wet, I work out 3-4 days a week, and lord knows I can't stand to sleep with my head tied up at night...lol Curretnly I wear my hair in cornrows since it is easeier due to my pregnancy. I guess it all depends on how each individual grew up when it comes to how we relate to our hair. I certainly have those days when i want to cut all the sh*t off too..lol
Siditty,
Dagnabbit! I see blogger ate my comment again!
What is the purpose of avoiding "cones"? I don't think your routine will work for my hair type either. But the twists work well for me.
___________________
Soila,
Maybe you should try two-strand twists. I straighten my hair every so often so I can see if it's grown any. My hair tends to grow OUT, not down! My guy friend was already complaining my hair makes me 4 inches taller than him.
Yan:
Cones or silicone based ingredients in hair products are there to enhance shine unfortunately they also dry out the hair over time and cause build up so I try to avoid "cones"
Thompson-Wendt Family Blog said...
I can't beleive how my folks have issues with their hair when i read some of the various blogs. Generally I get my hair relaxed every 5-6 weeks. I am NOT afraid to get it wet, I work out 3-4 week, and lord knows I can't stand to sleep with my head tied up at night.
More power to you. Seriously, I couldn't stand wasting hours upon hours of time sitting in a beauty salon. I hated that. Then with the length of my hair it would take hours sitting under a hair dryer and then all the time it took to style. Not to mention chlorine and relaxer do not mix, whereas now I can go swimming every single day without fear of green hair. Also styling after getting my hair wet is much, much easier. Not to mention how much money I save not having to go to the salon.
Hi Siddity...
I'm in and out of the salon in 2 hours from start to finish! I dont like bone straight hair..I like my hair to have some texture to it. And as for chlorine I agree, but living in the land of 10,000 lakes we spend our time in lakes and not pools so the chlorine is a non issue.
Actually a white guy has done my hair for over a decade, and honestly he does a better job than any black stylist i have ever been to. He understands that there are different textures to black hair,and doesnt go slapping relazer all over folks head..lol Ihave been in salons where stylish have relaxer all over your head, new growth, pold growth, from root to end and that is NOT the proper way to relax hair.
I do give my hair a break from the chemicals every 3-4 months though and opt for braids.
Post a Comment