Now you know I love the white men. I make no secret of my preference. I am married, but it would be nice to get myspace requests from guys who look a little less gangsta.
In my past I have dated deuces, dare I say my husband had deuce tendencies (he was rocking FUBU at one point and listening to Bone Thugs N Harmony), but there wasn't much attraction to someone trying to be "black". It was almost kind of insulting. It was like I was their validation into "blackness". Hell per black people at that time I wasn't considered black anyway, I was a fake "white girl" due to how I talked, the music I listened to, just everything about me was supposedly "white". I rarely if ever got approached by more "normal" white guys, unless they were older, i.e. I am 21, and the guy is 30 or older and rid of his hang ups, but he in my mind is too old for me or I felt I couldn't relate to him. Guys my age never approached me it seemed unless they were "down". Even now when I get hit on by white guys, they are usually "down" brothers who now use their biracial child as an active bargaining tool to show me how much they love black women.
Of course in my single life I was rarely if ever approached by men anyway, and when I was it was guys I usually wasn't attracted to. I had to do the hunting with most guys I dated. If they showed an interest, I went for it. My husband is extremely shy, but as soon as I realized he hd a crush on me (his friend ratted him out), I definitely pursued him. I convinced him to ask me out, and the rest is history.
43 comments:
Oh dear. This kind and people who speak to you in ebonics. They are trully tiring.
Hey, I'm your Myspace buddy and I'm not "down" nor do I speak ebonics.
C1 I had to add you!!!!!! All the "normal" guys on my myspace page who are not speaking ebonics are former co-workers or friends from college. The rest are old guys and deuces, except for the ones I requested an add from, like you :p
"If they showed an interest, I went for it. My husband is extremely shy, but as soon as I realized he hd a crush on me (his friend ratted him out), I definitely pursued him."
Go Siditty!!
Miriam:
My husband has never ever asked out a woman. He is uber shy. He is also very committal. If he is dating you, he is pretty much exclusive from the get go. If he likes it, he sticks with it. The woman he lived with before me pursued the hell out of him, even after they broke up. I remember vividly him getting random calls at 3 in the morning the first 6 months into our relationship and they had broken up 6 months prior to me and him even dating.
I also want to note, I told my husband he was going to marry me and a month later he proposed. That is the only way I could get a guy to marry me :)
"That is the only way I could get a guy to marry me :)"
lol hey whatever it takes!
My husband announced he was going to propose to me in an hour. (just to make sure it was an all systems go.)
Sometimes things aren't as romantic as I'd like.
mix tape cover of my newest friend, no lie
siditty "mix tape cover of my newest friend, no lie"
noooo.
I don't believe it. Really? Noooo.
OMG really? So many things are so hilarious about that picture I'm at a lost for words.
So have you heard his stuff? He raps about video games?
Oh Gosh. I can't stand DWBs. Like Paul mooney said, "I like my white folks to act like white folks"
I have exact same problem. I constantly have rappers and wannabe rappers of all ethinicties trying to add me. drives me crazy. I stopped listening to rap in high school and I have been playing the guitar for about three years. it is pretty obvious what kind of things I am into when a person looks at my page. I guess some people don't like to read or something.
LOL@mix-tape cover!
That's just wrong!Im mad he put the scorpian from Mortal Combat on the cover AND a chain that looks like it came from a gumball machine!
TBT his music for his page is stuff he created. Seriously.
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I'm with you brownskin, I don't know exactly how to react to folks like this.
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isityouorme:
I think for people on myspace they go by the profile pic and don't even bother to care about anything else.
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Yeah I was noticing Mortal Combat on that cover. He was trying for a Master P cover circa 1997.
At least y'all got proposed to. My dh bought my ring, gave it to me and said he thought we had an 'understanding.' Now he claims that he proposed the previous year when we had a romantic dinner on the beach with fireworks overhead. I just indulge him in his flights of fancy. (Actually I think he's embarrassed.)
Roslyn:
My husband proposed to me all depressed because his BFF was moving away. He needed me to replace the BFF.
He was all literally sad and was talking about that for two hours and then proposed, it wasn't all that romantic LOL
The funny thing about those pics is that our neighbor's son across the street used to dress like that. Drove my dh crazy, he hates that isht. Now, we think he's joined a militia group. Every time we see him he's dressed head to toe in camouflage. His truck even has camo paint on it. I think it's funny. The hubster? Not so much.
BTW, what is that supposed to be in the 'I' of the 'Thug Life' tattoo? It looks like a tampon.
I've never been approached by those type white guys. I haven't been single since 1994, and the hip-hop craze hadn't hit white folk around here then.
I was most traumatized by the bald white guy trend that I'm seeing these days. Horribly unfair, but I see a young white guy without hair and I immediately think skinhead. One of my co-worker's son shaved his head and she refused to be seen in public with him. If a bald white guy ever approached me I'd run screaming in the other direction.
Would you ladies trade your imperfect proposals for the joy of waiting to meet the guy who MIGHT propose to you?
Anyway...two bad about the deuces pictured 2 $ 4 are pretty cute. What a waste of 2 perfectly good looking white guys. Except 4 kinda look like he has make up on. Maybe he is a DL Deuce.
Roslyn:
The "I" appears to be a joint, but it does look more like a tampon.
In regards to shaved bald white dudes, my husband when I met him was bald as a whistle and wearing a goatee (his goatee is so cute, he doesn't have much facial hair at all, the mustache and chin part don't connect and his facial hair color is all over the place, dark brown, red, and blonde). He did look like a big bad dude with a baby face when we met. I did convince him to grow hair and he looks so much better with his hair. Less intimidating too LOL
He was hurt when I said people must look at us crazy a skinhead with a black girl LOL
hahahaha....now you know what us po single girls have to deal with!
LOL @ DL Deuce. That will be on Jerry Springer next week.
Would you ladies trade your imperfect proposals for the joy of waiting to meet the guy who MIGHT propose to you?
Yan my husband was not my first proposal. I was once proposed to by a guy in the military on our second date. He did it with a $10 ring from a flea market. He also on that date had named our first daughter, Journey Nicole. I am not naming my child Journey Nicole and I was not marrying him. He was all calling me pressing to meet my parents. He then told me I was going to drop out of school and work to pay for him to go through school and then he would do the same for me. He had planned our whole life together in less than 30 minutes. That is what I get giving some random guy at the club my phone number and making out with him. Ick. I am surprised I didn't end up with mono.
You couldn't pay me to be 20 again.
No, Yan, I wouldn't trade my proposal for anything. It gives me something to pick on my dh about for the rest of our lives.
See Siditty, I'd play up that skinhead/black girl angle. I'd get all Sha-nay-nayed up just to freak folk the hell out. Then again, I want me and the dh to go to a Halloween party as Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemmings. (Hey, he won't be a tall lanky redhead for much longer. His hair is fading to light brown even as we speak.)
I know I have a twisted sense of humor, but that isht is funny.
"they are usually "down" brothers who now use their biracial child as an active bargaining tool to show me how much they love black women."
The guy I'm "working on" brought up his biracial child early. I don't know if he was trying to appeal to me or what. I just thought that was funny...
Yeah maybe he just mentioned the child to see how you would react, not everyone wants to date people with kids. I know if I were single, I would probably be that way, so I know the single parents face obstacles.
Roslyn said:
BTW, what is that supposed to be in the 'I' of the 'Thug Life' tattoo? It looks like a tampon.
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ROFL!!!! this too much. I 've got tears laughing so hard.
Roslyn said:
I was most traumatized by the bald white guy trend that I'm seeing these days.
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Roslyn, me too.
Once I had an obstetrician who was a bold WM. I was so nervous, I just confronted him right then.
He humbly admitted that he was just balding.
Yan said:
Would you ladies trade your imperfect proposals for the joy of waiting to meet the guy who MIGHT propose to you?
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There WAS a guy I waited on. And waited and waited and waited. He was AA and his Hebrew was so fluent. I think I got such a kick out of hearing him talk it. lol
I think he realized it and would literally "show off" by sitting and reading a Hebrew news paper.
Anyway, he never proposed and I left.
ONG, Siditty. I just got a deuce from myspace on the site. I blame you! You summoned them by talking about them. It's been a great day what with the marrieds and looking.
How many marrieds and lookings did you find?
Right now there is only one. But I had some earlier in relationships but still looking. What says this is the site for black mistresses? So declined.
IDK, the one in the red hat is a cutie. I would hope he didn't dress like that ALL the time. But yeah, I agree about the DL Deuce. Homeboy has eyeliner on and everything. And why the hell are they throwing up west side? I was unaware we went back to 1997 to kick it.
HAWT!
And homeboy is killing it with the old English tattoo on the tummy.
Can we say Tupac?
Are y'all sure that's a blunt in the tattoo? Since when do joints have strings attached? I know I'm old and all, but surely things haven't changed that much.
BTW, why do y'all call them deuces?
Roslyn, I think the string is supposed to be smoke from a lit joint.
In terms of deuces. I call guys like this deuces because in photos, they like to throw signs, in particular deuces, as it is relatively gang safe.
I remember walking down the street in NYC and this very well dressed 30ish wm walked up along side me and said "Hi, brown sugar". I nearly gagged with disgust, needless to say he got no play.
If I White dude dares to drop ebonics for me, I walk away. It irritates me to no end. I cant take it. hate it, hate it, hate it. What is so hard with speaking normal??? I HATE DEUCES!!!
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Sid and Miriam,
LOL @ Your proposals. That's cute. I dont want the day to day "on bended knee" nonsense. I hope mine (That's if I ever do get engaged) will be something cute and wierd (not the norm).
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Dude with the mix tape is from Louisville. *Hangs my head in shame*. See how the "down" peeps in my neck of woods act???
I was reading the comments to see if anyone else thought that joint looked like a tampon.
These kind of guys are the worst. The term deuce really fits them because another definition of deuce is poop as in "I gotta go to the bathroom and drop a deuce."
I really enjoyed that guys mix tape cover. Very classy. It looks like he spent a lot of time on it.
This is hilarious. I used to receive those friend requests on Myspace before I changed my profile to Married. Now I don't ever. Well, I never check my Myspace anymore, either.
Fortunately, my (asian/latino) hubby never tries to "act black." He doesn't seem to have any identity issues at all.
Just like what i do for the Black guys who like to throw "was up" and "shawty" around...I make an exaggerated point of speaking proper english
He says
"Hey Shawty"
I say
"Hello, How are you today?"
"I am doing well"
LOL....It's a shame that those simple phrases sound so 'proper' these days
I'm going to go against the status quo here and say that i think your all being a little unfair lol. The same way some sisters here proabably hated being called 'white' by your peers because you were not fitting into a colourised/racial sterotype of what a black person was or supposed to be in their eyes, at the same time, we shouldnt do the same to white people. I dont think that there is a way to act 'black' or 'white' and i've always found that to be a load of crap. I remember when i finished high school (secondary school, in britain- im british) i got really good grades, like A's and B's and i was so pleased and a few black girls whom i had grown up with were like: 'your so like a white person, what with your good grades'. I swear i was soo pissed and was like: 'Being academically sucessful has nothing to do with whiteness and is certainly not exclusive to white people. Black people are equally capable of succeeding and are!' and the rest of my black female friends were in agreement.
anyways, the point is, we are indivuals and our surroundings and enviroments influence us, especially as kids and my sucess was down to the fact that my parents made damn sure i worked hard and studied. Not because it was a 'white thing' to do.
Some of the guys in your pictures and those like them, are the way they are, becos thats the way they were brought up and enviroment and it was the norm for them, and not to do with their colour or anything else.
So to say white guys should act 'white' is offensive too. We're saying that there's a specific way that white people should be, behave ,like, dislike, due to their colour. We get it enough becos we're black and not fitting into sterotypes that people are trying to push us into, because thats what they think who we are or should be, due to pigmentaition, with little regard to us as individuals or our personalties, life exprience, background and all the other things that shape us into who we are. I dont think we should equally do the same.
I've known white guys, like those fellas (not so much bling though lol) and they werent faking it or trying to be anything other than themselves. They were being what they deemed to be normal and had grown up being the norm.
I do agree, its annoying when you get the odd moron, who comes up to you and puts that persona on purposely, because he thinks 'oh shes black, so i'll be like this becos she'll like that and me more' lol. I can see you point with them type of guys, but for the most part, the ones i knew anyway, were real and nice guys. The fact that they spoke in ebonics didnt bother me cos now and again, i'd speak in it too lol.
anyways, nice blog you got Siddity. being reading it for a little while, after coming through some various other blogs, which i shall not name. They got too nauesting after a while. Plus atleast you blog about other things too.
-Silent Observor-
ps. the guy in the red hat and red shirt, is very cute :p yum
The last one looks undercover gay and the first two look like morons. If your gunna put up pics of deuces, atleast make sure they're back to back fine lol. Like Channing Tatum (he seems to feature in alot of 'black'/urban films and the only white guy innit- from the stuff i've seen in U.K) He's proabably not like that in real life, but his still yum eye candy :D
-Silent Observor-
I was unaware we went back to 1997 to kick it.
Lanna:
I am dying laughing at that one. Seriously it does have a 1997 vibe to it. I hear "Gin and Juice" in my mind right now.
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And homeboy is killing it with the old English tattoo on the tummy.
Can we say Tupac?
texasladybird:
I wish I had an old english tattoo across by belly, that tattoo would look so hot once I was in my 9th month of pregnancy.
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Dude with the mix tape is from Louisville. *Hangs my head in shame*. See how the "down" peeps in my neck of woods act???
Soila:
When I was in high school, my cousins from Kentucky kept telling me to come up there because there were a ton of white guys checking out my pic. They had arranged kentucky dates for me, all of them were "gangsta". I was baffled by this because 1) as my cousins why are you displaying me around and telling people I am cute (these were two male and one female cousin) 2) Why would I go all the way up to Kentucky to date a boy while I was in high school?
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Some of the guys in your pictures and those like them, are the way they are, becos thats the way they were brought up and enviroment and it was the norm for them, and not to do with their colour or anything else.
Anon:
I understand that people are individuals and there is no acting black and acting white, but many of these kids do not act this way because of their surroundings. My husband in middle and high school went to predominantly black schools. He was immersed in black and hispanic culture. He knew about "sets" and gang activity. He wore FUBU and listened to hip hop, but he never came across as the guy who was into speaking ebonics to show how down he was. Even in college he sat at the "black table", that is how we met, at that point I was very militant. Even now the majority of his friends are black or hispanic.
Oh and anon for you: Channing Tatum
He is yummy I will admit.
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