Happy 31st Birthday Hot Stuff!!!!
I can't believe it!!!! You are now 31. You can stop making jokes about me being an old lady and being two years older than you now. I hope you enjoyed your birthday. I tried my best to surprise you with some awesome gifts, but I think I screwed myself, as one of your gifts I think you have decided you love more than me. You've played with it all day long, showing me new features and tricks you have managed to learn without reading the manual.
Anyway I love your birthday because I it reminds me of how long we have been together as we started dating about two weeks after your 22nd birthday. That means for 9 years you have been stuck with me. Does that make you smile or make you cry? If I were stuck with me, it would make me cry.
I hope you love your gifts, and let me know if you hate any of them so I can take them back and use the money for myself.