As a black woman, at least for me growing up, I was told by my parents, and by friends, both black and white that a white guy will screw you, but they will never ever marry you. I disproved that theory with my husband, but as some people can attest in my previous post and in my own personal experience, I find people who hold this belief near and dear to their heart.
I have had the dreaded "How Much?" question come from white and hispanic men. The first few times I looked in confusion and ran away. If you ask me now, you will likely get cursed out. I don't think I dress all that "sexy" in everyday life. I didn't know converse, t-shirt, and jeans were prostitute gear. Even when I wear shorts and skirts, trust me with my husband, they are outdoor appropriate. It never ever seems to happen when I am "dressed sexy", like when I would go to a club or some night spot, but rather in broad daylight in downtown Dallas or when I am in "less savory" neighborhoods. Man walk up behind you, or pull up by you in cars and ask that question. When I do go to the nightclub or night spot, instead of the "do you want to dance question", you get the "Will you dance for me, I will give you $50 bucks" question. I am not at a strip club, but rather a regular run of the mill night club, and I don't think I have ever offered anyone a table dance. To be realistic, I can't really dance, I wouldn't know how to table dance to obtain the $50.
So why is it I and other black women get this question. Of course this isn't an everyday occurrence, but you do wonder why is it assumed I am open for business, when in reality I walk down the street. I once asked my husband this. He says it is a combination of three things. Assholism, idol worship, and outdated stereotypes.
The first reason is obvious. Some men are assholes. They just have no home training, and they think money will give them access to everything. They can be old, fat, ugly, and lack personality, but they feel money gives them the right to be complete jerks. These men assume that $50 will mesmerize you. These are the men I have referenced back in older in posts, they feel that you should be open to giving them oral sex in a fast food parking lot because they bought you a happy meal.
My husband readily admits on our first date, he was very mesmerized by my ass, he is an ass man and has no qualms about it. He worships ass. He wants me to aspire to be Buffie the Body, but I don't think my butt can get that big. He can to this day 9 years later tell me every detail of the dress I wore, he loved the dress. He still asks me to wear the dress, which now would look dated and completely out of style. He also thinks I "switch" my butt when I walk. I admit this happens, but I do have a big ass, I can help that it moves from side to side when I walk. It is not completely obvious, I don't purposely do it, but you have to focus on my ass to notice. He admits he focuses on my ass a lot. I definitely understand how if a man is looking at your ass. So he feels they notice and get mesmerized and lose their mind. I don't know if my bootie is all that, but some men it doesn't take much. I guess if you are willing to pay for sex, you probably don't have high standards, just be able to breathe and expose body parts and these men are excited.
In terms of stereotypes. We have all heard the "black women are easy", "black women are wild in bed", and "black women know how to move" stereotypes. Even though as black girls we are told it was white girls who were easy and would do things black girls wouldn't. White folks were told the opposite. I know white guys who attempted to date me and dating me involved not dinner and a movie, but going back to their place. I was dateless a lot in high school because of this. I was not going to be an afterschool special on ABC. I knew better. In college as well this often happened. Guys who wanted girls, but never in public , only in private. I honestly thought for a long time the only way I was going to date a white guy was to screw him first, so I was a bit put off by white guys for a while and remained dateless.
All in all a lethal combination of these three things cause some men to act a damn fool.
38 comments:
Maybe us hetero black women should acquire a taste for coochie cause it seems the only way we'll get love is to love each other.
Just kidding. Sort of.
Where did find that photo? Is that Lex Luthor?
Maybe us hetero black women should acquire a taste for coochie cause it seems the only way we'll get love is to love each other.
Just kidding. Sort of.
Boom,
White men can love black women. If I found a guy, anyone can.
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I'm dying!!! I literally LOL @
Where did find that photo? Is that Lex Luthor?
re: the dreaded "How Much?" question
I feel your pain. I'm a tomboy and it never ceases to amaze me how often I got that question when I was younger (11-16). My irritation with it hit fever pitch when an obviously retarded man resorted to trying to entice me with money after I said I wasn't interested and that I was very underage.
I don't look any different (maybe a bit taller), but I don't have as many fools asking now. I think it's because I give the InstantExcruciatingDeathStare (tm) when I feel it coming; that last good nerve we all got from our mommas has a purpose.
re: booties and the walk
I'm not sure if it's a function of booty (having large one vs. not having one at all) or bone structure (black/African women are supposedly more likely have pelvises that are tilted in such a way that our butts stick out more, irrespective of size). Maybe it's a combination of both factors that makes the walk so deadly to men? My great-aunt calls it skirt poppin' and is of the opinion that you either have it or you don't. I'm inclined to believe her. It's something you can't really be taught and I've had white female friends ask me how/why my walk was so different than theirs.
re: stereotypes
As a student, it's been my experience that college is particularly full of white guys who want to see if the stereotype is true. Many are the type that want to see you in private, but would side on the spot if someone saw you together in public. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't in situations like this: if you go along with the sterotyping, you're cheap and not worth anything--you're more worthless than a girl of a different ethnicity that does the same thing; if you don't go along with it, you're a horrible person because it threatens the world view they've always been taught--why don't you know your place/what you're supposed to be? It's like some twisted "You think you're better than me.." trip.
I have to admit that I was very leery of my boyfriend because of this. I didn't want to end up with another freak chasing me or a creep playing at being my friend around me that was going to come out with "black girls are different from white girls/wild/freaky/natural eff machines/etc." I was initially put off by the booty apprecition (I thought it was a sign of bad things/extreme fetishism to come), but he was reprieved when he honored my demand to be treated like a lady.
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On a side-note: Ms. Siditty, do you know what happened to ABC and her hubby? I know they were renovating or something, but it looks like the blog is gone (403 error).
My irritation with it hit fever pitch when an obviously retarded man resorted to trying to entice me with money after I said I wasn't interested and that I was very underage.
I got a 60 something year old man with a limp to ask me that at the mall when I was 16. I looked all of 12, I was wearing overalls and a baggy t-shirt, so not looking sexy by any means. I nearly died. I once had an old man with gray hair ask me out by pretending to shop in the store I worked at as well (I was 16 and worked at MotherCare, no I was not pregnant, just needed a job). I told him I was 16, and he still kept asking me out. He had gray hair all over his head and a possible mullet. I was not impressed. He then backed off when my friend who worked at the Merry Go Round was up there, and he was a big, tall, nothing but muscle white dude. He trolled that mall for about three hours and would not let up in asking me out. It was horrible. He finally showed me his wallet, as if that was a sign I missed out on a sugar daddy.
Maybe it's a combination of both factors that makes the walk so deadly to men? My great-aunt calls it skirt poppin' and is of the opinion that you either have it or you don't. I'm inclined to believe her. It's something you can't really be taught and I've had white female friends ask me how/why my walk was so different than theirs.
Yeah I can't wear really short skirts. They hike up in the back, so what might be not too short in the front looks REALLY SHORT in the back. My husband stopped denim mini skirts with a quickness.
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On a side-note: Ms. Siditty, do you know what happened to ABC and her hubby? I know they were renovating or something, but it looks like the blog is gone (403 error).
Yeah I don't know what happened to them. I miss their blog though :(
In regards to the picture. I just did a google search on it, but it reminded me of a time I was riding the rail with my little sister and this old white man 70+ was with a 20 something year old black woman and her two kids. He had taken them to the zoo and out to eat in the West End District. He asked me to take pictures of them together and he kept referring to her as his "friend". Most 70 year old white men don't hang out with 20 something black women sporting faux blonde weave, color contacts, and baby phat.
I think as a black women, you have to think yourself worthy and the best. You have to state what you want from the very beginning of the relationship. There are many black women who are married to white men and they know what they wanted and refused to accept anything less. Some white men have come up to me and have been rude and I have told them where to get off.
I just got this question 2 weeks ago. Oh, and don't forget Middle Eastern men. They are notorious too.
But people have you stopped to consider that black women may give off a sexual vibe stronger than other females?
When I remember conversations with black men back home, I realize that our own physical nature may be inviting the said behavior. Two scenarios here,
The butt and movement;
In the largest tribe in my country the way a woman's behind moves as she walks is key to her sexuality, such that there are drum beat compositions to mimick the desired movement. Some men claim that when the see a woman's behind move, they hear those drum beats and its a turn on.
I know this sounds far fetched but even in western society there is a link between the rhythms in pop music and the human heart beat. The most popular music is in sync with our natural heart beats.
Then there is the issue of color. We can have thousands white tourists roaming hte city in Daisy Dukes but a BW wearing a skirt above her kness will coz commottion and bring traffic to a stop. Why? Again I asked an educated male why there was the double standard. And firstly ofcourse they have the BW not only on a pedastal but she is divine to them and degrading herself by exposure that way is not acceptable.
Secondly, he explained that the difference was in the skin tone. A BW's skin tone changes from the feet to the legs, to the knees and the thighs. This variation in skin tone excites BM. WW and others have a flattened out tone that does little for them.
Strangely enough there was a white male over at the dating site that metioned the same exact thing. So it may not only African men that get this effect. The arms too do something for the men back home. If you show alot of tonal range, you will have people touching you all day. As a result, I always cove my arms. None of that strappless crap.
Seriously, I think there is more to the nature of BW that makes everyone look at us simply in sexual terms.
I am the most dressed down person you can find and right now and without hair. But still get the strangest looks by all sorts of men.
wow...i've never experienced this. but then again, i've never experienced alot when it comes to race relations...
i too found a man that loves me and loves me RIGHT. and he is white (well half anyway). so it happens--not all white men are out to pay for coochie. heck, this is my first time hearing that black women go through this alot.
like i said, i am finding out that i am not well versed in the area of race relations.
Reading this brought me back to my dating days when I did encounter a fair number of white boys who wanted to just hit it and quit it.. um, no dahling.
That said I have also had the experience of being with my husband who is white and someone questioning our relationship.
It was about 10 years ago in Chicago, we were just married and were coming back from an event when the hubster was stopped by the cops in a random check. How come the cop asked who I was? That was so not relevant to the situation at hand. Cop basically implied I was a hooker, to this day whenever I recall that event, I get mad.
Anyway having married twice to white men, I know that they do in fact marry us. Just like any race, there are good men and not so good men.
Ahh, the Black experience. His "first" Black girl.
Makes me stabby.
I never understood what made us so much different than White women. As a general rule, in my early college days it was the White girls doing anal. They were down for the threesomes. They flashed their ta ta's for Girl's Gone Wild.
White girls were the freaky ones; why were they checking for me?
Because they still needed to see Becky as "pure" even though she was down for back door or wildin' out with his boys.
And lets not forget, the largest consumer of rap music is White males ages 18-34. 50 and 'nem are sending crude messages about Black female sexuality straight to the 'burbs.
But it's been in my experience the White guys who are willing to date/get to know Black women, tend not to fit in. They are not jocks, they don't hate women, and tend to have friends of other races.
Sid, if this is too graphic, I apologize. Me and my girlfriends get into heated discussions about this all the time.
I wonder if any of you have had this experience. You meet these guys that just want to hit and run, then when you don't give in, you hear later that they are married. Then a year or 2 down the road, they get in tough with you because they hit a bump in their marriage. I have had this happen twice. What do you do with such fools?
Guys who wanted girls, but never in public , only in private. I honestly thought for a long time the only way I was going to date a white guy was to screw him first, so I was a bit put off by white guys for a while and remained dateless.
What happened to the black men? Or you were only interested in white guys? Just curious.
I think as a black women, you have to think yourself worthy and the best. You have to state what you want from the very beginning of the relationship. There are many black women who are married to white men and they know what they wanted and refused to accept anything less. Some white men have come up to me and have been rude and I have told them where to get off.
You definitely have to state what you want. I told my husband month three into the relationship he was going to marry me. Most men would run, two months later, he proposed. I had never had the gall to tell any other guy that before, I guess I kind of knew. Of course on the second date he professed his love, so I guess we were a bit crazy to begin with, any other guy who would have done that, I would have run, and they would have let me. I tried to run and he just chased me and stuck around :)
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But people have you stopped to consider that black women may give off a sexual vibe stronger than other females?
Grata,
I never thought about that. I guess I should try to stifle the sexiness LOL
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It was about 10 years ago in Chicago, we were just married and were coming back from an event when the hubster was stopped by the cops in a random check. How come the cop asked who I was? That was so not relevant to the situation at hand. Cop basically implied I was a hooker, to this day whenever I recall that event, I get mad.
That would piss me off too. I am sorry but unless you were parked in a vacant parking lot and found disheveled and partially clothed, he had no reason to insinuate that.
Anyway having married twice to white men, I know that they do in fact marry us. Just like any race, there are good men and not so good men.
I wholeheartedly agree.
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Ahh, the Black experience. His "first" Black girl. Makes me stabby.
LOL Me too!!!!
I never understood what made us so much different than White women. As a general rule, in my early college days it was the White girls doing anal. They were down for the threesomes. They flashed their ta ta's for Girl's Gone Wild. White girls were the freaky ones; why were they checking for me? Because they still needed to see Becky as "pure" even though she was down for back door or wildin' out with his boys.
You are so right about this. All be damned would my tatas be seen on a Girls Gone Wild video and I didn't and don't want to be bisexual for the sheer entertainment of a guy. I swear I started college in the mid 1990s and I never knew so many bisexual women. I never knew many women who just considered themselves lesbians though. The majority of bisexual women all had boyfriends they had threesomes with, there were very few bisexual women who went the more traditional route, where they would just have one partner, be it girl or boy, who ironically never had to be drunk to make out with a girl in public. Of the people I still know of from college, the "threesome" bisexuals have magically turned heterosexual, where as the lesbians and bisexuals pretty much remained lesbian or bisexual.
In terms of backdoor loving, I don't know how many guys have approached me about this. Seriously, I don't know why, I don't think I wear a "willing to do anal" sign anywhere on my body, but I have been asked this more times than I care to admit. It is kind of embarrassing.
But it's been in my experience the White guys who are willing to date/get to know Black women, tend not to fit in. They are not jocks, they don't hate women, and tend to have friends of other races.
Yeah that is kind of true, but that was my crowd growing up anyway. I dated a couple of white jocks (I have a tall white dude obsession, I managed to date the only white guy on the college basketball team), but for the most part I have the soft spot in my heart for the nerds. I ironically though never dated the movie, books, or music nerd (which was my crowd), they never wanted me, I always dated the nerdy nerds. The shy, quiet types who like math and play video games, just like my husband LOL.
Sid, if this is too graphic, I apologize. Me and my girlfriends get into heated discussions about this all the time.
No worries. This needs to be discussed. This Girls Gone Wild mindset is kind of swept under the rug.
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I wonder if any of you have had this experience. You meet these guys that just want to hit and run, then when you don't give in, you hear later that they are married. Then a year or 2 down the road, they get in tough with you because they hit a bump in their marriage.
I get drunk text messages all the time from a guy I went to college with, who I never dated, but he kept trying to ask me out. He is now divorced from his white ex wife, but now he feels I would be perfect for him. I have tried to shake him for about two years. I ignore his phone calls, text messages, and emails like the plague.
If any of you ladies want him, let me know I will be glad to pass him on. Seriously.
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What happened to the black men? Or you were only interested in white guys? Just curious.
They weren't there. I can count on my fingers how many times I was genuinely asked out by black guys. I grew up and went to school in a predominantly white area. Not to mention black guys tended to have this perception that if you date white, you were "tainted".
I am a 20 yr college student. I have had one experience like this screw not date, the unfortunate thing is it was with someone I worked with in a play, who knew me. I regularly see him at events. I have come to terms that he is a pitiful pitiful white man with a desire for black women that won't go beyond close doors (not till he is old and gray).
Why is it the older white men always trying to get with a black girl, I guess they figure they don't have any more options or don't have to hide there feelings anymore because no cares? IDK
I don't have any problem with mature but I do have a problem with old and busted.
I am never approached by any guy even though I know several of them are interested (albeit sexually) but it sucks. I need some loving. And would love to date regularly. Any tips?
@boom: What does "coochie" mean?
@Classical one: Where did find that photo? Is that Lex Luthor?---LOL!!!!!
It really sucks that some white men act like this an continue to perpetuate the idea that white men are only interested in sex in regards to black women. I think you hit upon the point that hip-hop is so popular with young white men and they want to fulfill their 'chocolate fantasies' and get with a video vixen. I enjoy hip-hop, but it has not lead me to seek out BW only for their bodies, but rather it has given me an avenue to discover the type of women I prefer to date. It really hinders the progress us white men may have had who desire meaningful relationships with black women.
Siditty,
This remembered me of some ahole's comment on that infamous sciforum thread you posted on C1's blog. I was gonna write a comment about that, but I just need to do a piggyback post, it would be too long as a comment.
Anyway...anonymous college student- try the internet dating sites and specify you are open to all white men and any other race you are open to.
Damn. I think I tried to erase the anal thing from my mind--that came up a few times, too.
I complained to a friend (who I found out later was a "party girl" just short of GGW proportions) about it and she told me I was supposed to be flattered!
Somehow someone wanting to do me dirty, with or without permission, was a compliment to how great my behind was.....but if someone asked her the same thing it would be shock and horror.
Did you know you blog is so popular, an adult site hijacked the misspelling of it to get traffic (http://siditty.bloigspot.com/)?
Kind of...odd,...considering the turn the topic took..
This Grata lady is sort of right. Black women have curvier figures and here, curves = sex.
@boom: What does "coochie" mean?
pussy
I vote for the production of an " I brake for math nerds/hipsters" t-shirt.
Grata makes a good point; one I never thought about before until now.
I'm 5'7, 115 lbs on a good day; while I'm a skinny minnie, I still got a booty and the "walk". I think the vibe may not just be sexual but confidence as well.
To anon @ 4:49 AM:
It's gonna be trial and error. I can tell you to stay away from frat boys. A lot of frat guys get sucked into the "herd mentality".
Be aggressive. As I said earlier the guys who are willing/wanting to date/get to know Black women tend not to fit in. They also tend to be very shy because they don't fit in. Introduce yourself. Flirt shamelessly. They will like it. Trust me. :)
Random thoughts:
Lmao at the lex luthor comment
Suesue:
Coochie means pussy, vagina, what women have between their legs, the good shit, ect... you know. Lol.
Blackgirlinmaine:
Your husband should have pointed to the ring on your finger and said "obviously I would a prositute a ring and marry her", and then added "you guys don't miss a thing, its a wonder crime is so high in this city, can you guys point me to the nearnest donut shop". Dam I hate the police.
Siditty:
I don't know why most white guys who approach black women think their easy or sluts. Don't get me wrong, I have so much respect for a lot of black women, but some can be down right hoes. Take my homegirl for example, this girl is still 18, she has had sex over 85 times with 20 different guys. She does backshots, head, anal, ass to mouth (that is fucking nasty, I feel sorry for any guys that kiss her), and she loves threesomes, group sex, and gang bangs (all guys, she's hetero). Now this is straight from the hood, I've know her for about 4 years now, and I think only 1 guy has ever hit it, and he was hood (to be fair, she let me, but I turned it, for fear of diseases, and I was a virgin back then, I don't want to sound corny, but I wanted my first time to atleast mean something). But the point is most of these girls that are rapped about or portrayed in music videos don't go to college (granted homegirl is in going to college in september, but trust me, most of those other girls I knew who were similar to her, did not and do not, I have seen this with my own eyes) and much less will they sleep with a white guy, so that whole theory is ludacris. Let me be clear most (I said most) of the black girls I meet in college that are willing to date white guys, are some of the most respectful girls, who don't deserve this crap from a lot of guys. What's funny is that these same respectful girls who would probably make better wifes then the "beckys", and these guys are too stupid to notice because of stereotypes, or to scared to notice because of societal pressures and racism. (don't even get me started on the whole slutification with white girls that has happened here where I go to school, trains being on 6 girls by over 20 guys at this party here last year, btw I love the term becky, lol, I never heard of this before, but it so funny, espeacially since I don't know any white girls named becky, but for some reason now I picture every random white chick being named becky and doing anal, lmao, its so funny).
Oh yea, and you mentioned ass. Man I love the ta tas, but nothing can replace a nice thick ass. Now what I don't is how most (again I said most, and atleast of the ones I meet) white guys don't like athick ass. Of course some do and hide it. I remember beating these guys at the gym in my school (college), and then one white guy (who was on the losing team) pointed at white girl, who I noticed was too skinny and had no ass, to this other white guy (his teammate). Well what I heard next made me so glad I crushed, he said this, "no that's not my type, she's too big, I only like skinny girls". So ok let me get this straight he only likes girls with asses flatter then pancakes and bodys that resemble 10 year old boys, ok, I wonder why you lost. I don't get it, don't guys like having a girl that they grab and feel while making love, do they like the feeling of smacking against bone, when doing it doggystyle, I just don't get it.
Texasladybird:
Don't worry, your language has nothing on me.
Random thoughts:
Lmao at the lex luthor comment
Suesue:
Coochie means pussy, vagina, what women have between their legs, the good shit, ect... you know. Lol.
Blackgirlinmaine:
Your husband should have pointed to the ring on your finger and said "obviously I would a prositute a ring and marry her", and then added "you guys don't miss a thing, its a wonder crime is so high in this city, can you guys point me to the nearnest donut shop". Dam I hate the police.
Siditty:
I don't know why most white guys who approach black women think their easy or sluts. Don't get me wrong, I have so much respect for a lot of black women, but some can be down right hoes. Take my homegirl for example, this girl is still 18, she has had sex over 85 times with 20 different guys. She does backshots, head, anal, ass to mouth (that is fucking nasty, I feel sorry for any guys that kiss her), and she loves threesomes, group sex, and gang bangs (all guys, she's hetero). Now this is straight from the hood, I've know her for about 4 years now, and I think only 1 guy has ever hit it, and he was hood (to be fair, she let me, but I turned it, for fear of diseases, and I was a virgin back then, I don't want to sound corny, but I wanted my first time to atleast mean something). But the point is most of these girls that are rapped about or portrayed in music videos don't go to college (granted homegirl is in going to college in september, but trust me, most of those other girls I knew who were similar to her, did not and do not, I have seen this with my own eyes) and much less will they sleep with a white guy, so that whole theory is ludacris. Let me be clear most (I said most) of the black girls I meet in college that are willing to date white guys, are some of the most respectful girls, who don't deserve this crap from a lot of guys. What's funny is that these same respectful girls who would probably make better wifes then the "beckys", and these guys are too stupid to notice because of stereotypes, or to scared to notice because of societal pressures and racism. (don't even get me started on the whole slutification with white girls that has happened here where I go to school, trains being on 6 girls by over 20 guys at this party here last year, btw I love the term becky, lol, I never heard of this before, but it so funny, espeacially since I don't know any white girls named becky, but for some reason now I picture every random white chick being named becky and doing anal, lmao, its so funny).
Oh yea, and you mentioned ass. Man I love the ta tas, but nothing can replace a nice thick ass. Now what I don't is how most (again I said most, and atleast of the ones I meet) white guys don't like athick ass. Of course some do and hide it. I remember beating these guys at the gym in my school (college), and then one white guy (who was on the losing team) pointed at white girl, who I noticed was too skinny and had no ass, to this other white guy (his teammate). Well what I heard next made me so glad I crushed, he said this, "no that's not my type, she's too big, I only like skinny girls". So ok let me get this straight he only likes girls with asses flatter then pancakes and bodys that resemble 10 year old boys, ok, I wonder why you lost. I don't get it, don't guys like having a girl that they grab and feel while making love, do they like the feeling of smacking against bone, when doing it doggystyle, I just don't get it.
Texasladybird:
Don't worry, your language has nothing on me.
JDR
I might have hit the button like 10 times so feel free to delete any repeats.
JDR
"If any of you ladies want him, let me know I will be glad to pass him on. Seriously"
Sid,
You know the drill. You have to send out the pic then we comment after that. No Duces please.
"I'm 5'7, 115 lbs on a good day; while I'm a skinny minnie, I still got a booty and the "walk". I think the vibe may not just be sexual but confidence as well".
Dave Chappelle has a word for it. And it sounds suspiciously like a drum beat. Bodangada (something like that)
One time my sister and a friend of ours were on the beach and where looking at people in Bikini's. Not bothered at all, the moment we saw a black woman, we were all stunned. And we started discussing the subject. A white woman in a bikini and a black woman in the bikini are not the same thing. Even as women we could feel that the black girl we saw was overly sexual. And we are 3 straight women. We were all in consensus. BW need to cover it up. Or wear a full swim suit otherwise you are asking for trouble.
And those are some of the subtle differences between Africans and African Americans. Being in America, AAs are going by the main stream standard. Africans look at that and they are like NO! You are abusing yourself with such exposure, that body is sacred. The same exact way WM see their women as chaste is the same way most African societies want to see their women.
Sid sd:
"If any of you ladies want him, let me know I will be glad to pass him on. Seriously"
No bobble heads with little man syndrome and huge trucks either ;)
Grata sd:
"Dave Chappelle has a word for it. And it sounds suspiciously like a drum beat. Bodangada"
Badonkadonk???
"Badonkadonk???"
That's it. It sounds like a drum beat. If you heard a Muganda imitating a drum beat it would sound like that. One buttock moves Badon then the other goes Kadonk. And repeatedly it becomes a rhythm. I am serious BTW.
It is degrading, offensive, and racist for ANY man to assume that because a woman is Black, she is a prostitute.
Also, the fact that a Black woman's body is different from women of other races does not justify this type of treatment either. If ALL Black men in America took the resposibility of being REAL men seriously and defended the dignity and honor of Black women, by now, men of other races would treat Black women in a more respectful manner. Instead, MANY Black men promote degrading negative images of Black women in hip hop videos and other forms of media and continue to perpetuate racist stereotypes that promote the mistreatment of Black women by ALL men.
I hate to hear that slang Badonkadonk, it's sexist. I now hear bm, wm and all kinds of men complimenting ww and Lw for having botties now (even the fakes), they say it's sexy. But when it came to us having that same botty, it was all bad, fat or over sexualized.
"Instead, MANY Black men promote degrading negative images of Black women in hip hop videos and other forms of media and continue to perpetuate racist stereotypes that promote the mistreatment of Black women by ALL men".
In Western society, the BM just does not do for the BW what the other men do for theirs. Its pretty sad. That is why its hard for me to look at a BM out here with respect. They are almost invisible to me. And the few that attempt to hit on me get the killer stare and flee.
I am never approached by any guy even though I know several of them are interested (albeit sexually) but it sucks. I need some loving. And would love to date regularly. Any tips?
If a guy shows interest, be aggressive with it. Don't pounce him, but ask him out. My husband is very shy and he told someone he thought I was cute. I thought he was cute back so I asked him when he was going to ask me out. He asked me out then and there. He thought it was funny I was so direct, but it worked.
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It really sucks that some white men act like this an continue to perpetuate the idea that white men are only interested in sex in regards to black women. I think you hit upon the point that hip-hop is so popular with young white men and they want to fulfill their 'chocolate fantasies' and get with a video vixen. I enjoy hip-hop, but it has not lead me to seek out BW only for their bodies, but rather it has given me an avenue to discover the type of women I prefer to date. It really hinders the progress us white men may have had who desire meaningful relationships with black women.
Adam:
No fears, if you aren't just after the booty, women will know. I do think that with the hip hop culture exposing white people to black people, it does open avenues. As long as you don't approach a black girl as if you were Soulja Boy, you should be fine.
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This remembered me of some ahole's comment on that infamous sciforum thread you posted on C1's blog. I was gonna write a comment about that, but I just need to do a piggyback post, it would be too long as a comment. Anyway...anonymous college student- try the internet dating sites and specify you are open to all white men and any other race you are open to
I read your post, it was awesome. Made me mad as hell though.
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I complained to a friend (who I found out later was a "party girl" just short of GGW proportions) about it and she told me I was supposed to be flattered!
I've gotten that too, like I was supposed to think that was a seductive approach to sex.
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I vote for the production of an " I brake for math nerds/hipsters" t-shirt.
I had a hello kitty t-shirt that had "I love nerds" on it, but I lost it :(
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Now this is straight from the hood, I've know her for about 4 years now, and I think only 1 guy has ever hit it, and he was hood (to be fair, she let me, but I turned it, for fear of diseases, and I was a virgin back then, I don't want to sound corny, but I wanted my first time to atleast mean something).
That is too sweet!!!! AAAAAwwwwww
What's funny is that these same respectful girls who would probably make better wifes then the "beckys", and these guys are too stupid to notice because of stereotypes, or to scared to notice because of societal pressures and racism
This is definitely true in many instances. Some men want to keep up appearances and because of stereotypes and societal pressures, they are scared to death to date those who don't fit the appearance (i.e. black women)
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You know the drill. You have to send out the pic then we comment after that. No Duces please.
Grata,
Soila has seen his pic. She was not impressed. He is a tiny, tiny man.
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No bobble heads with little man syndrome and huge trucks either ;)
Yep that is him, still trying to text and email. You want to trade your man in for him LOL
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If ALL Black men in America took the resposibility of being REAL men seriously and defended the dignity and honor of Black women, by now, men of other races would treat Black women in a more respectful manner. Instead, MANY Black men promote degrading negative images of Black women in hip hop videos and other forms of media and continue to perpetuate racist stereotypes that promote the mistreatment of Black women by ALL men.
I see your point on this. What white people see on television is usually their window to black people, there are some people with the gall to believe a video girl represents how black women act. I dont understand it, but it happens.
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I hate to hear that slang Badonkadonk, it's sexist. I now hear bm, wm and all kinds of men complimenting ww and Lw for having botties now (even the fakes), they say it's sexy. But when it came to us having that same botty, it was all bad, fat or over sexualized.
I don't understand that either. I used to get made fun of for having big lips, but now Angelina Jolie has big lips, they are sexy, before they were just greasy and gross.
college guys in general don't want to date you just want a booty call, this applies to all races
If these dumbass questions are still being asked and answers have to be compiled, then people in this society have as little common sense as ever. Really, one should refuse to participate in such situations.
As for black women being easy, the opposite is more often the case, in my experience. Black women tend to be very conscious of the need to be respected, and furthermore they tend not to be frivolous about their relationships. I could say something unflattering about white women by comparison, but that would be beside the point here.
You know, this stuff really isn't that hard to understand. Do we live in such a dehumanized society that we've lost the capacity to relate to other people honestly?
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