I just totally agree with everything she said. I've experienced more times than I care to remember groups of Black men calling me the "B" word because I chose not to respond to them when they make sexual comments in the street to me when I was walking alone. I'm sure that has happened to a lot of Black women. It's all about respect, and if you are not taught to respect yourself and to respect women, these men will never understand why they don't get the response they think that they deserve. Why do we have to be labeled as "thinking we are better" if we demand respect? Thanks for posting that clip, I've subscribed to her videos.
I LOVE Najahface. I agree with everything she said.
Especially the part about us not having allies. It seems like everytime black women talk about our pain we are either silenced or told by an outsider that our pain isn't real.
I just totally agree with everything she said. I've experienced more times than I care to remember groups of Black men calling me the "B" word because I chose not to respond to them when they make sexual comments in the street to me when I was walking alone. I'm sure that has happened to a lot of Black women.
starkitty,
Unfortunately this has happened to me as well. It is like your "rejection" is a blow to those types of men's manhood. I wonder how many times a girl has asked for a man's phone number, after being told about her "apple bottom". I think that for SOME black men, since historically black man have been emasculated, many feel the need to overcompensate.
---------
Especially the part about us not having allies. It seems like everytime black women talk about our pain we are either silenced or told by an outsider that our pain isn't real
Me and Najahface are tight, she once gave me a shout out in one of her videos. LOL I am like her stalker, I watch all her videos, listen to her blogradio show, and I bought her book.
It makes me so sad to see this, and even more sad that I agree with every single word. I dont know if other people are gonna ever listen to such problems/thoughts, but we, black women, have to and need to
I thought I was the only one who felt that way. I definately feel black women have no protection. I remember a friend of mine, whose boyfriend at the time tried to beat her up for breaking up with him for cheating. The unprotection comes from the cop who was a brother,he gave her this look of disgust and damn near blew her off. He spoke down to her and acted like she was lying. It blew me away. I have not trusted cops since. That has not been the only situation where I and other black women like myself have felt unprotected. It scares me. Are we thought of that little?
I can also remember in my teen days walking down the street and this guy in a basketball court trying to talk to me and my friend calling us nasty bitches and hos for not talking to him. It happened twice in one day.
I know black men have been made to feel less than men in our society, but why are black women the punching bags physically and verbally. I know not all black men feel that way and hate to see black women be disrespected. I honestly feel that alot more of them could care less.
In college I started receiving a lot of negative attention from black men in public. I stopped wearing shorts and wore baggy clothes. This did not stop the harassment. I actually had someone throw a football at me while my back was to them because I did not recognize him and he accused me of acting "brand new". I swear I had never seen this green eyed brown skinned guy in my life! The ball hit the ground near me but it was done in a very threatening manner. I have also been called a bitch and had my behind touched at dances/clubs. I have never felt safe, I know that if I were to disappear today the police and media would not put any effort into finding me. I have been pulled over for driving while black, I have been accused of stealing by store security. Someone told security they saw me put a "clock" in my pocket. I had a tshirt, and short shorts with only one tiny 2"x2" pocket with no coat or bag/purse.
A Congolese friend of my mum said that it is very true that lots of african people lighten their skin in Europe but apparantly it happens more in the Congo because men there (on the continent) prefer much more clearer/lighter skin but what is worse is that the women are going along with it and think it is GOOD ! We are our own enemies. This is just one example though.
It is funny how black people are constantly negatively stereotyped. Only recently the president of our student union made a very racist comment about black people at my university and became so serious it was on the news ! (What is sad about thius is that these people are soo young and i thought that with the newer generation things were getting better) SEE LINKS:
Black pregnant women are another subset of women that are more likely to be abused and murdered by Black men. This issue is rarely talked about as well.
i agree with everything she said. thankfully im not around people like that. and i made sure i didn't attend a HBC, wasn't going to happen. i made sure i attended a multicultural school, that's where bw need to go for now on.cuz bm there know they can't pull that kind of sh*t there.
Just the other day, at a club here in Michigan a black woman was getting harrassed by a guy who's advances she turned down not just inside the club, but on her way out to her car. The fool pulled his car up besides her's at a stop light and shot her. I think ANYONE who's ego is that easily shattered by someone not reciprocating their interest that they feel the need to curse them out or try to harm them in some way needs to STOP and get help immediately, this is not normal behavior
I remember a friend of mine, whose boyfriend at the time tried to beat her up for breaking up with him for cheating. The unprotection comes from the cop who was a brother,he gave her this look of disgust and damn near blew her off. He spoke down to her and acted like she was lying. It blew me away. I have not trusted cops since. That has not been the only situation where I and other black women like myself have felt unprotected. It scares me. Are we thought of that little?
I feel so sad. Black women have to stand up to this. We have to leave the men who beat us, and we have to learn to be more aggressive in terms of standing up for ourselves, with the bitch and bad attitude stereotype in full force. When I call the police, it isn't just for kicks, and that trifling officer should have known that in regards to this case.
It is frustrating that other races of women do have some protection in the grand scheme of things. NOW never seems to jump up out of the woodwork to tell people about what happened when a black woman is missing or has an unsolved crime. The police have their preconceived notions and prejudices against black women. We truly only have ourselves. ----------
I have also been called a bitch and had my behind touched at dances/clubs. if I were to disappear today the police and media would not put any effort into finding me. I have been pulled over for driving while black, I have been accused of stealing by store security. Someone told security they saw me put a "clock" in my pocket. I had a tshirt, and short shorts with only one tiny 2"x2" pocket with no coat or bag/purse.
One of my last few times at a club before I was snatched up, I went out with some girlfriends for a good time, a guy asked me to dance, I said yes. The guy then had the nerve to press me up against him doing a "fast" song and have me feel his erection all while having his hand on my butt, by the end of the dance, he was asking me to go to his hotel room. I pretended I needed to go to the bathroom and disappeared. I didn't know this guy's name, but he knew he deserved and wanted to treat me like a common tramp. It is like manhood is solely connected to a penis for some men and they use it as a tool of submission.
----------
It is funny how black people are constantly negatively stereotyped. Only recently the president of our student union made a very racist comment about black people at my university and became so serious it was on the news ! (What is sad about thius is that these people are soo young and i thought that with the newer generation things were getting better) SEE LINKS:
It never seems to get better because those raising the younger folks are just as racist as the parents who raised them. It is a vicious cycle. ---------
Black pregnant women are another subset of women that are more likely to be abused and murdered by Black men. This issue is rarely talked about as well.
It seems we have no recourse for any crimes committed against us. Sometimes families will want you to work out staying with an abuser. The abuser will blame you, and in many instances police can be indifferent to the abuse. I remember when the R. Kelly thing first came out, and people were saying that him molesting a girl was the best thing that probably every happened to her, that she came from the ghetto and was probably being molested anyway. Black people were quick to defend R. Kelly by calling her fast and a hoochie that deserved whatever happened. This wasn't just from black men, but black women as well. It is as if some of us have the can't beat them, join them mentality.
That is another issue within the black community, we tend to think of child abuse as a white people thing, where I have seen black teenage girls get pregnant by men much older than them, but it is the teenage girls fault because she was fast.
----------
i agree with everything she said. thankfully im not around people like that. and i made sure i didn't attend a HBC, wasn't going to happen. i made sure i attended a multicultural school, that's where bw need to go for now on.cuz bm there know they can't pull that kind of sh*t there.
Sky,
Most schools aren't multicultural, whether they be HBC or not. HBC can be very diverse, even more so than "white schools". My father's alma mater provides scholarships to attract whites and people of other races to attend their school. If you look at the demographics of a HBCU vs. other colleges, the demographics are about the same, but instead of being majority white, those schools are majority black.
I don't think Najahface was directing black men in general, I do think she is focusing on black women, and the black women mindset, and she is giving reasoning for the mindset, some of which is black men, but beyond that there are other factors as well that play into the feeling of black women being unshielded and protected.
------------
Just the other day, at a club here in Michigan a black woman was getting harrassed by a guy who's advances she turned down not just inside the club, but on her way out to her car. The fool pulled his car up besides her's at a stop light and shot her. I think ANYONE who's ego is that easily shattered by someone not reciprocating their interest that they feel the need to curse them out or try to harm them in some way needs to STOP and get help immediately, this is not normal behavior
Is it that serious. She had to die, that man couldn't find another woman in that whole club. That is the saddest thing ever, are women seen only as property to some men to the point of throwing them away like trash if they don't comply to your advances?
@Sid: I have felt this way for a long time. It scares me and hurts me that we are our only barrier to negative sterotypes and crime. You almost feel naked. Maybe we should bring the Bad bitch in us out in full force. It seems to have sorta protect us this far.
I have also been called a bitch and had my behind touched at dances/clubs. if I were to disappear today the police and media would not put any effort into finding me. I have been pulled over for driving while black, I have been accused of stealing by store security. Someone told security they saw me put a "clock" in my pocket. I had a tshirt, and short shorts with only one tiny 2"x2" pocket with no coat or bag/purse.
@Sid:
My friend had a similar thing happen to her. She was in a club dancing and a guy touched her ass, she pulled his hand away and walked away. While she was walking away he called her a bright yellow bitch. We all left the club right away. I wanted to call my uncles so bad, but I know what would have happened. She did not want to be responsible for that guy coming up missing. I was mad enough for her and every woman in the club that night. It still gets me a little riled up.
True other races of women do have better protection than black women. There are times when they may not get the protection they need when they need it, but they have it. I have seen so much in my 35 years and I can honestly say, I think alot of times the reason black women come off as hard and tough is because we have been the ones protecting and looking out for ourselves. I don't see how come most people cannot see that our history has shaped us in such a way. We are still women and love and need love and protection like any other women. We get taken for granted that we can handle everything ourselves and don't need anyone or anything. It is so heartbreaking.
15 comments:
I just totally agree with everything she said. I've experienced more times than I care to remember groups of Black men calling me the "B" word because I chose not to respond to them when they make sexual comments in the street to me when I was walking alone. I'm sure that has happened to a lot of Black women. It's all about respect, and if you are not taught to respect yourself and to respect women, these men will never understand why they don't get the response they think that they deserve. Why do we have to be labeled as "thinking we are better" if we demand respect? Thanks for posting that clip, I've subscribed to her videos.
I LOVE Najahface.
I agree with everything she said.
Especially the part about us not having allies. It seems like everytime black women talk about our pain we are either silenced or told by an outsider that our pain isn't real.
I just totally agree with everything she said. I've experienced more times than I care to remember groups of Black men calling me the "B" word because I chose not to respond to them when they make sexual comments in the street to me when I was walking alone. I'm sure that has happened to a lot of Black women.
starkitty,
Unfortunately this has happened to me as well. It is like your "rejection" is a blow to those types of men's manhood. I wonder how many times a girl has asked for a man's phone number, after being told about her "apple bottom". I think that for SOME black men, since historically black man have been emasculated, many feel the need to overcompensate.
---------
Especially the part about us not having allies. It seems like everytime black women talk about our pain we are either silenced or told by an outsider that our pain isn't real
Me and Najahface are tight, she once gave me a shout out in one of her videos. LOL I am like her stalker, I watch all her videos, listen to her blogradio show, and I bought her book.
She hit the nail right on the head with this one.
It makes me so sad to see this, and even more sad that I agree with every single word.
I dont know if other people are gonna ever listen to such problems/thoughts, but we, black women, have to and need to
I thought I was the only one who felt that way. I definately feel black women have no protection. I remember a friend of mine, whose boyfriend at the time tried to beat her up for breaking up with him for cheating. The unprotection comes from the cop who was a brother,he gave her this look of disgust and damn near blew her off. He spoke down to her and acted like she was lying. It blew me away. I have not trusted cops since. That has not been the only situation where I and other black women like myself have felt unprotected. It scares me. Are we thought of that little?
I can also remember in my teen days walking down the street and this guy in a basketball court trying to talk to me and my friend calling us nasty bitches and hos for not talking to him. It happened twice in one day.
I know black men have been made to feel less than men in our society, but why are black women the punching bags physically and verbally. I know not all black men feel that way and hate to see black women be disrespected. I honestly feel that alot more of them could care less.
THIS IS SIMONE
In college I started receiving a lot of negative attention from black men in public. I stopped wearing shorts and wore baggy clothes. This did not stop the harassment. I actually had someone throw a football at me while my back was to them because I did not recognize him and he accused me of acting "brand new". I swear I had never seen this green eyed brown skinned guy in my life! The ball hit the ground near me but it was done in a very threatening manner. I have also been called a bitch and had my behind touched at dances/clubs.
I have never felt safe, I know that if I were to disappear today the police and media would not put any effort into finding me.
I have been pulled over for driving while black, I have been accused of stealing by store security. Someone told security they saw me put a "clock" in my pocket. I had a tshirt, and short shorts with only one tiny 2"x2" pocket with no coat or bag/purse.
I agreee with her.I love Najahface video's.
A Congolese friend of my mum said that it is very true that lots of african people lighten their skin in Europe but apparantly it happens more in the Congo because men there (on the continent) prefer much more clearer/lighter skin but what is worse is that the women are going along with it and think it is GOOD ! We are our own enemies. This is just one example though.
It is funny how black people are constantly negatively stereotyped. Only recently the president of our student union made a very racist comment about black people at my university and became so serious it was on the news ! (What is sad about thius is that these people are soo young and i thought that with the newer generation things were getting better) SEE LINKS:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1052162/Students-face-police-probe-waving-Bring-Back-Slavery-sign-York-University-seminar.html
http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2008/aug/22/students.highereducation
I ramble. Sorry !!! It's really cool that you knmow NajahFace Personally !!! Well, kind of personally.
Black pregnant women are another subset of women that are more likely to be abused and murdered by Black men. This issue is rarely talked about as well.
i agree with everything she said. thankfully im not around people like that. and i made sure i didn't attend a HBC, wasn't going to happen. i made sure i attended a multicultural school, that's where bw need to go for now on.cuz bm there know they can't pull that kind of sh*t there.
Just the other day, at a club here in Michigan a black woman was getting harrassed by a guy who's advances she turned down not just inside the club, but on her way out to her car. The fool pulled his car up besides her's at a stop light and shot her. I think ANYONE who's ego is that easily shattered by someone not reciprocating their interest that they feel the need to curse them out or try to harm them in some way needs to STOP and get help immediately, this is not normal behavior
I remember a friend of mine, whose boyfriend at the time tried to beat her up for breaking up with him for cheating. The unprotection comes from the cop who was a brother,he gave her this look of disgust and damn near blew her off. He spoke down to her and acted like she was lying. It blew me away. I have not trusted cops since. That has not been the only situation where I and other black women like myself have felt unprotected. It scares me. Are we thought of that little?
I feel so sad. Black women have to stand up to this. We have to leave the men who beat us, and we have to learn to be more aggressive in terms of standing up for ourselves, with the bitch and bad attitude stereotype in full force. When I call the police, it isn't just for kicks, and that trifling officer should have known that in regards to this case.
It is frustrating that other races of women do have some protection in the grand scheme of things. NOW never seems to jump up out of the woodwork to tell people about what happened when a black woman is missing or has an unsolved crime. The police have their preconceived notions and prejudices against black women. We truly only have ourselves.
----------
I have also been called a bitch and had my behind touched at dances/clubs.
if I were to disappear today the police and media would not put any effort into finding me. I have been pulled over for driving while black, I have been accused of stealing by store security. Someone told security they saw me put a "clock" in my pocket. I had a tshirt, and short shorts with only one tiny 2"x2" pocket with no coat or bag/purse.
One of my last few times at a club before I was snatched up, I went out with some girlfriends for a good time, a guy asked me to dance, I said yes. The guy then had the nerve to press me up against him doing a "fast" song and have me feel his erection all while having his hand on my butt, by the end of the dance, he was asking me to go to his hotel room. I pretended I needed to go to the bathroom and disappeared. I didn't know this guy's name, but he knew he deserved and wanted to treat me like a common tramp. It is like manhood is solely connected to a penis for some men and they use it as a tool of submission.
----------
It is funny how black people are constantly negatively stereotyped. Only recently the president of our student union made a very racist comment about black people at my university and became so serious it was on the news ! (What is sad about thius is that these people are soo young and i thought that with the newer generation things were getting better) SEE LINKS:
It never seems to get better because those raising the younger folks are just as racist as the parents who raised them. It is a vicious cycle.
---------
Black pregnant women are another subset of women that are more likely to be abused and murdered by Black men. This issue is rarely talked about as well.
It seems we have no recourse for any crimes committed against us. Sometimes families will want you to work out staying with an abuser. The abuser will blame you, and in many instances police can be indifferent to the abuse. I remember when the R. Kelly thing first came out, and people were saying that him molesting a girl was the best thing that probably every happened to her, that she came from the ghetto and was probably being molested anyway. Black people were quick to defend R. Kelly by calling her fast and a hoochie that deserved whatever happened. This wasn't just from black men, but black women as well. It is as if some of us have the can't beat them, join them mentality.
That is another issue within the black community, we tend to think of child abuse as a white people thing, where I have seen black teenage girls get pregnant by men much older than them, but it is the teenage girls fault because she was fast.
----------
i agree with everything she said. thankfully im not around people like that. and i made sure i didn't attend a HBC, wasn't going to happen. i made sure i attended a multicultural school, that's where bw need to go for now on.cuz bm there know they can't pull that kind of sh*t there.
Sky,
Most schools aren't multicultural, whether they be HBC or not. HBC can be very diverse, even more so than "white schools". My father's alma mater provides scholarships to attract whites and people of other races to attend their school. If you look at the demographics of a HBCU vs. other colleges, the demographics are about the same, but instead of being majority white, those schools are majority black.
I don't think Najahface was directing black men in general, I do think she is focusing on black women, and the black women mindset, and she is giving reasoning for the mindset, some of which is black men, but beyond that there are other factors as well that play into the feeling of black women being unshielded and protected.
------------
Just the other day, at a club here in Michigan a black woman was getting harrassed by a guy who's advances she turned down not just inside the club, but on her way out to her car. The fool pulled his car up besides her's at a stop light and shot her. I think ANYONE who's ego is that easily shattered by someone not reciprocating their interest that they feel the need to curse them out or try to harm them in some way needs to STOP and get help immediately, this is not normal behavior
Is it that serious. She had to die, that man couldn't find another woman in that whole club. That is the saddest thing ever, are women seen only as property to some men to the point of throwing them away like trash if they don't comply to your advances?
We truly only have ourselves.
@Sid: I have felt this way for a long time. It scares me and hurts me that we are our only barrier to negative sterotypes and crime. You almost feel naked. Maybe we should bring the Bad bitch in us out in full force. It seems to have sorta protect us this far.
Simone
I have also been called a bitch and had my behind touched at dances/clubs.
if I were to disappear today the police and media would not put any effort into finding me. I have been pulled over for driving while black, I have been accused of stealing by store security. Someone told security they saw me put a "clock" in my pocket. I had a tshirt, and short shorts with only one tiny 2"x2" pocket with no coat or bag/purse.
@Sid:
My friend had a similar thing happen to her. She was in a club dancing and a guy touched her ass, she pulled his hand away and walked away. While she was walking away he called her a bright yellow bitch. We all left the club right away. I wanted to call my uncles so bad, but I know what would have happened. She did not want to be responsible for that guy coming up missing. I was mad enough for her and every woman in the club that night. It still gets me a little riled up.
Simone
True other races of women do have better protection than black women. There are times when they may not get the protection they need when they need it, but they have it. I have seen so much in my 35 years and I can honestly say, I think alot of times the reason black women come off as hard and tough is because we have been the ones protecting and looking out for ourselves. I don't see how come most people cannot see that our history has shaped us in such a way. We are still women and love and need love and protection like any other women. We get taken for granted that we can handle everything ourselves and don't need anyone or anything. It is so heartbreaking.
Simone
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