2008-10-31
White Men Can't Raise Biracial Sons and Daughters?
Per this guy a biracial child raised by a black man and white woman will be well adjusted and will learn how to cope in life with being biracial because they will have a strong black father, but if a biracial child is a product of a black woman and white man union, that child will be "soft" and will not know how to deal with black people. It is as if the mother doesn't exist to provide a "black" influence, and that whatever man she ends up with will be a weak white man who is "soft".
White men can be strong and manly, so why does this guy equate whiteness to being soft? Why is it in his scenario that a white man can't raise a child? White men have been raising children since white people were created. I am going to go ahead and get real for a second. Black women here in America raise black children all by themselves every single day, and sometimes they do it without black male interaction. Many times they do it successfully. So why would the black mother's influence have less credibility than a black father?
Then he goes on to say if he has a biracial daughter he will be able to help her because she will have "jealousy" issues from black women for being light skinned with long hair, and having all the guys after her. Why is it biracial mean automatically beautiful? Fugly comes in every race people, and yet he is holding the stereotypes of "light being right" near and dear to his heart.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
31 comments:
You know the title is a big draw right?
Excellent breakdown.
I agree with you, the assumptions are steeped in racial stereotypes. And frankly, its not cool.
Now, it would be different if he were explaining the lack of cultural identity should a black child be raised in a white family. Thats a whole other topic in itself.
This guy is just narcissistic. It is OK for black men like him to date/love/marry whomever they please but if black women do the same their children will be damaged goods. If he isn't attracted to black women then why does he care who they date?
If I may over-simplify for a minute, I think a biracial child raised by a caring parent--black father, white father, black mother, white mother--will turn out to be a well adjusted child. A "soft" parent of any color might make a "soft" child so I don't know what he's even trying to get at with that. I've had biracial friends with white fathers and they seemed fine to me you know?
I will admit, though, I've seen some white guys with their black kids and kinda...cocked an eyebrow because I wonder what's really going on there, but I'm nosy as hell too.
I don't take anything men like him say seriously because they are always said out of insecurity. I just don't get black men who come on youtube and say this garbage.
I agree with what you wrote. Raising children is a difficult thing to do no matter what your race is. When it comes to race, I know many black people are against anyone other than a black person raisng a black child. But I think its stupid to assume that a black man will always be able to raise a black child and assume a with man can't.
The only problem that I do have is when parents raise their child without any knowledge of where they come from. I think it very important for parents that have a biracial child or even have transracially adopted to instill their child with their own culture. Playing the whole "colorblind" thing isn't going to work.
And I just don't want to get started on how many black people of mixed heritages are considered "better" by a lot of black people. Yet, some black people never want to openly admit it...
"If he isn't attracted to black women then why does he care who they date?"
Thats a million dollar question. I think black men who have a problem with black women dating IR, even though they have no attraction to black women will always care. I always picture them saying "I don't want you, but I sure as hell don't want anyone else to have you."
let's please not give YT men the time of day! his video is not even worth mentioning. just a box of b.s.!
"It is as if the mother doesn't exist to provide a "black" influence..."
All the women are white, all the blacks are men...
What about parents who transracially adopt? Are they not good parents too? What children need first and foremost are loving, caring, and understanding parents. If a child is significantly different from one or both parents, it helps if the parents are more sensitive to the child's needs/concerns and does everything in their power to raise children with a strong healthy sense of identity but then again, that applies to ALL parents with children.
So I guess a white man married to a black woman and raising a black son who is not biracial is totally out of the question right? Maybe it's just me, but I'm finding a common denominator in foolishness like this-at the end of the day, the white woman can give balance stability and create a warm loving soccer mom environment with a black man(because anything is possible as long as you have a bm by your side!SMH)and a black woman can't do a damn thing with herself or with a white man. Even though as stated in the post, that we have been doing this (raising children)forever-with or without help. As many children-black children- all children in the foster care system, a MF* should be happy for ANY child to have a two parent household that gives he/she what she needs and deserves. This is why I am glad we take the time to break it all the way down to our son.
My husband and I had talks about this five years before we even had kids and he is well aware of what our sons are up against as adults. Growing up in the UK, the racial dynamic was different and living here for the last 10 years has been a real education for him in terms of race relations. He wants them to have high self-esteem as young men and to know that their Father is always there for them and that he loves the unconditionally. That is the foundation for raising any child and everything else should fall into place.
Well he's not totally stupid, at least he didn't show his face
@starkitty50
My husband is also from the UK and is shocked and appalled by the race relations situation in the States. He lived in the States for 15 years. We don't have children yet, but he is very aware of the problems they would face growing up in the States.
We're currently living in the UK and I have to say that interracial couples seem to be more common here.
*sigh* The guy's a fool and needs help
Agree, Stella!
This guy is crazy. I guess since he believes that white is more beautiful then that is the case with everyone else. I mean give me a break. I have biracial daughters who are beautiful, but I also have a niece who is dark skinned and beautiful. Beautiful caome in all shades. I would never raise my daughters to think that they are more beutiful b/c they have light skin. I mean I think that I am beautiful and I am dark skinned. So that would not make sense. I have a feeling that this man would raise his daughters to think that they are better than others b/c of their skin color. But in reality as grown ups don't we know that we should work on our insides to make ourselves as good as we can be instead of focusing on outward appearences. (Not that outward appearences are unimportant.) Anyway, this my husband is raising our daughters to be wonderful people who are loving and caring with good morals. We don't sit around trying to make them 'hard' or 'soft'. We will deal with life issues as they come up and I am sure that anything thrown our way will be dealt with properly.
I’ll admit I only listened to the first third of this thing.
No one seems to have noticed that this guys “honest question” follows the same pattern as most all racist ideologies.
He opens harmlessly asking a question he simply wants an answer too. He throws in his professor, proving he isn’t stupid, he went college after all, and he throws in a couple anecdotes showing his experience. Of course one anecdote is college, the other basketball… which we all know defines black men right?
Let’s look at the wisdom this man shares:
Black men play ball
White men are soft
Soft is bad
Black men are strong
We can judge how well adjusted you are as a professor by how well you communicate with ignorant black male freshman
The measure of biracial basketball players is how much crap you get from other kids
This guy is projecting his value system and interpretation of things around him onto others, assuming his is the accurate and best way. This is the very cause and root of what racism is. Is his problem that these biracial kids are deficient or that they are not just like him?
Are white men all soft? Are you soft Casper?
Is it more important to be “down” and able to communicate with black males than it is to seek education as this professor obviously had?
Who is this man to say what traits a black or biracial child should possess?
I guess he is right… what do I know about my daughters facing female jealousy, after all that is only a black phenomenon. Am I to also guess that race trumps gender in this case Mr. Expert? O, I’m sorry, you aren’t the expert just someone asking an honest question.
Where is the place for individuals here, or are all situations based on the racial traits of ones parents?
Now all this aside, I am a firm believer that raising biracial children, or transracially adopted children, should be done with open eyes. There is no such thing as color blind and consequentially ignoring a child’s skin tone/race would in my mind not only be foolish but damaging. Problems do not come in recognizing difference in culture or color but in placing varying values on color. Children and parents should have knowledge of, and be comfortable with, the cultures and experiences of both races. If not, there is an inherent risk of a higher value being placed on one race over the other.
On the bright side this guy apparently sees the value of fathers. He also thinks, and I’m being redundant here, that race trumps gender. I cordially disagree in this case.
Now I hope I used small enough words for his narrow mind to understand. Of course trying to use reason may make me soft. If reasoning isn’t your thing I suppose you could meet me somewhere and test my “softness”.
The author of this video is making his double standard soooo obvious!
So black men basically go with white women so they can have beautiful biracial daughters? WOW!
You know what is interesting, biracial women are genetally not desired where I am from. There are some very twisted traditional beliefs about them. Biracial men seem not to have any problems but most men steer away from marrying the women. They will sleep with them but not marry them.
I had a friend who was like a quarter white and many of my male friends would see her and like her but upon learning that she was biracial, they would loose interest. I think the fear stems from them not being seen as culturally founded. Men want their children to be raised traditionally and with a biracial wife, they see alot of confusion ahead.
They are probably the ones with the highest divorce rates. I don't know any married and settled biracial woman. And they too do carry the complex that black women are jealous of their hair.
I will feel very sad for his daughter if she turns out dark, etc.
He is already with his sights on the whole look his daughter 'should' have. Makes me nervous.
I suspect what he means by "soft" is not crude??? not able to get "in your face" or get "ghetto"???
Not agreeing with him.
Also I think that is putting desent, polite BM down.
I remember this video and actually commented on it. The guy is just rambling on his hypocricies and prejudices, but of course, he wont admit it because he'll appear 'soft' lol. It takes a strong man and a strong woman to raise a strong child. The same principle can be applied to a family consisting of a white man, black woman and BIracial child. I really am sick of all these videos on youtube that have nothing but negatives to say about black women, ESPECIALLY when they are with white men.
I didn't watch the video, but great post Siditty. Thank you.
::Problems do not come in recognizing difference in culture or color but in placing varying values on color::
Amen brohammas. This cannot be said often enough.
patsgirl
gloryus said..." I really am sick of all these videos on youtube that have nothing but negatives to say about black women, ESPECIALLY when they are with white men."
and aint funny that they thought we would never do such a thing, cuz we were suppose to be the "good black women who would never sleep w/ the enemy" & they swore up and down the white men & black women aren't attracted to each other.*rolls eyes*
don't worry gloryus these YT men are looking & sounding dumber and dumber. for all we know he could be gay, who would use a pink elephant(unless its some signifance i don't know about)as an icon for themselves unless they are a girl. these are the men you want to stay clear from. he has a color complex, a white man has me down complex, hater-aid for black women complex, hell and the new black women has me down/defends white men complex. whatever... i see more black women getting more attention and love from other men. so im not worried about his trifling ass. he needs some place to vent and unfortunely he's using YT.beside he couldn't be this strong black man he presents himself to be,he's hiding behind a pink elephant!
Why is it so many Black men like him seem to be in constant competition with Black women? If we're both in IRRs then theirs has to somehow be better/more IR/more "authentic"/more PC. If we're both with White folk then THEIR WW has to somehow have it over our WM.
I honestly would not mind it if each and every BM out there got his ass a WW IF HE COULD MANAGE TO KEEP BW'S NAMES OUT HIS DAMN MOUTH AND MIND HIS OWN DAMN BUSINESS AND NO LONGER DISCUSS WHAT WE DO WITH OUR LIVES!
Why is it so many Black men like him seem to be in constant competition with Black women? If we're both in IRRs then theirs has to somehow be better/more IR/more "authentic"/more PC. If we're both with White folk then THEIR WW has to somehow have it over our WM.
I honestly would not mind it if each and every BM out there got his ass a WW IF HE COULD MANAGE TO KEEP BW'S NAMES OUT HIS DAMN MOUTH AND MIND HIS OWN DAMN BUSINESS AND NO LONGER DISCUSS WHAT WE DO WITH OUR LIVES!
A black man trying to say a child will be weak if raised by a white man is hilarious to me. Especially when most black men are no where near their own children in the first place.
I just had a little back and forth with this guy on YT, he says he only dates strong black women, but on the other hand he was very critical of black women. He says that their are only a few decent black women out there. He will never have a successful relationship with any woman with that attitude.
We're currently living in the UK and I have to say that interracial couples seem to be more common here.
I noticed that when I visited there a few times. It doesn't seem to be as much of an issue over there as it is in certain parts of the States.
@ sky:
a pink elephant? Out of all the masculine or neutral colours, he chose pink? You only have to put two and two together lol.
The guy is just ignorant and has nothing better to do. As ignorant as those stupid black men there who call black women 'ankles' LMAO. Seriously wtf does 'ankles' mean? lol SMH
I agree with you, the assumptions are steeped in racial stereotypes. And frankly, its not cool.
Now, it would be different if he were explaining the lack of cultural identity should a black child be raised in a white family. Thats a whole other topic in itself.
Very true. I hate the amount of stereotypes he is passing off as truth though. He kills me.
-------
This guy is just narcissistic. It is OK for black men like him to date/love/marry whomever they please but if black women do the same their children will be damaged goods. If he isn't attracted to black women then why does he care who they date?
It is the old "I can't do what I want, but you can't do what you want"
-----
I think a biracial child raised by a caring parent--black father, white father, black mother, white mother--will turn out to be a well adjusted child. A "soft" parent of any color might make a "soft" child so I don't know what he's even trying to get at with that. I've had biracial friends with white fathers and they seemed fine to me you know?
I will admit, though, I've seen some white guys with their black kids and kinda...cocked an eyebrow because I wonder what's really going on there, but I'm nosy as hell too.
I am nosey too. I saw a little asian boy with a white man the other day, and I finally concluded the child was adopted. I think when I do that, it is me stereotyping white men.
-----
The only problem that I do have is when parents raise their child without any knowledge of where they come from. I think it very important for parents that have a biracial child or even have transracially adopted to instill their child with their own culture. Playing the whole "colorblind" thing isn't going to work.
I definitely agree.
And I just don't want to get started on how many black people of mixed heritages are considered "better" by a lot of black people. Yet, some black people never want to openly admit it...
Very true. Colorism is a very complex thing that people are still wanting to admit. No one wants to air the dirty laundry.
kat said...
What about parents who transracially adopt? Are they not good parents too? What children need first and foremost are loving, caring, and understanding parents. If a child is significantly different from one or both parents, it helps if the parents are more sensitive to the child's needs/concerns and does everything in their power to raise children with a strong healthy sense of identity but then again, that applies to ALL parents with children.
Exactly. Parents should be instilling sense of identity regardless of race.
-------
Anyway, this my husband is raising our daughters to be wonderful people who are loving and caring with good morals. We don't sit around trying to make them 'hard' or 'soft'. We will deal with life issues as they come up and I am sure that anything thrown our way will be dealt with properly.
That is how it should be. Soft or hard is relative. Should the child be drinking whiskey and smoking black and milds to show folks how "hard" they are?
-------
Let’s look at the wisdom this man shares: Black men play ball White men are soft Soft is bad Black men are strong We can judge how well adjusted you are as a professor by how well you communicate with ignorant black male freshman The measure of biracial basketball players is how much crap you get from other kids
LOL so true. That does seem to be the rationale. Not all black men are "hard", nor do they all play basketball, and just because a biracial guy on his basketball got teased, does not mean all biracial children are represented by him.
Are white men all soft? Are you soft Casper? Is it more important to be “down” and able to communicate with black males than it is to seek education as this professor obviously had?
Casper could kick that guys ass LOL. Of course you have to be "down", damn education. That is so lame.
Now all this aside, I am a firm believer that raising biracial children, or transracially adopted children, should be done with open eyes. There is no such thing as color blind and consequentially ignoring a child’s skin tone/race would in my mind not only be foolish but damaging. Problems do not come in recognizing difference in culture or color but in placing varying values on color. Children and parents should have knowledge of, and be comfortable with, the cultures and experiences of both races. If not, there is an inherent risk of a higher value being placed on one race over the other.
Very true.
-------
and aint funny that they thought we would never do such a thing, cuz we were suppose to be the "good black women who would never sleep w/ the enemy" & they swore up and down the white men & black women aren't attracted to each other.*rolls eyes*
I don't get that mentality. It kills me that men are supposed to do whatever they want, but in their mind the women of whatever race belong to them and cannot do the same.
I am responding to what Grata said...that biracial women aren't desired where she/he comes from..most aren't married. First of all I know a lot of married bi racial women. Secondly, if men were so concerned about raising children who knew their culture/ethnicity they why are so many marrying inter-racially? Their children would certainly be the ones that you claim don't have a culture/ethnicity. Thirdly, I would not be able to tell God that I could honor a man who would sleep with one "kind" of woman and marry another. Any man who would do that is a pig. Finally, race is a social construct. If you ascribe to the dominant cultures way of viewing race through divisive eyes...you are a racist and I would say that a bi-racial person may know his/her ethnicity better that you do... Bi-racial people more that most know that they are members of the human race.
I am responding to what Grata said...that biracial women aren't desired where she/he comes from..most aren't married. First of all I know a lot of married bi racial women. Secondly, if men were so concerned about raising children who knew their culture/ethnicity they why are so many marrying inter-racially? Their children would certainly be the ones that you claim don't have a culture/ethnicity. Thirdly, I would not be able to tell God that I could honor a man who would sleep with one "kind" of woman and marry another. Any man who would do that is a pig. Finally, race is a social construct. If you ascribe to the dominant cultures way of viewing race through divisive eyes...you are a racist and I would say that a bi-racial person may know his/her ethnicity better that you do... Bi-racial people more that most know that they are members of the human race.
Post a Comment