2009-01-28
Birthing Babies
So me and the husband decided to be crazy and have a natural childbirth in a birthing center. My mother is scared to death. My husband is hesitant, but it is a compromise between me wanting to have the baby at home and a hospital to him. Plus the place I want to have my baby is right down the street from a hospital, so if I or the baby need to get transferred, they got it covered.
My mother is wondering why I want to do natural instead of an epidural assisted normal hospital birth. It is sad, but this documentary kind of pushed me to the natural way. I thought about it last time I was pregnant, but tI was scared out of it. Not to mention here in the Dallas area, we have an usually high amount of c-sections and I don't want a c-section unless absolutely necessary and I don't want to induce labor unless necessary, and not to fit around the schedule of my doctors vacation (I had a friend whose doctor did this, seriously). C-sections are major surgeries, even if the scar isn't all that big and can be concealed. Not to mention the US in general has a very high neonatal mortality rate, and we are one of the few countries in the world where people don't use midwives and instead prefer medical intervention. Coming from insurance, group insurance at that, I can definitely see how having a hospital birth is a money maker and how many times things are done not in the best interest of the mother, but rather to prevent legal action on down the road. Also C-sections are a win win for doctors, more money because they are surgery, and they are quicker to perform than traditional natural labor. It costs between 8K and 12K to have a baby in a hospital, and don't have twins or a c-section you are looking at easily over $20K, and if you are uninsured, how do you pay for that if you aren't qualified for government assistance?
I think the misconception is that midwives are untrained grandmothers popping out babies on kitchen tables who don't wash their hands and chew off the umbilical cord and then cook up the placenta right after delivery. The midwives at the two birthing centers I am considering are all former Registered Nurses, the all have Master's in Nurse-Midwifery, and I am pretty sure they won't chew off the umbilical cord or cook up my placenta. The nurses in most hospital deliveries do most of the work anyway. They also have modern equipment and don't rely on lots of sheets and water. Technology that has been used in hospitals is the same technology midwives have access to.
I hope I don't sound like some dirty hippie, but honestly I think this is the best choice for me. I am not an advocate, just someone kind of tired of justifying my choice to family members over and over.
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29 comments:
Ultimately, it is your decision and your husband's. My mom thought I was crazy when I told her that I didn't want my sons circumcised and that I didn't want an episiotomy. You want to have the best, most stress-free birthing experience possible the way that you want it.
I can honestly understand you wanting to go the natural way.
More power to you on that.
Wish my wife was able to go that way with my two children (8 & 16), but due to the way she was built (among other things), a c-section was a necessity.
And one other thing to consider for those of you out thinking about having a c-section: once you have one done, chances are very good that you'll have another one done if you have another child.
Sad fact of life I guess.
Having had a previous uterine surgery I had to have a c-section, otherwise I would've had my baby at home. And I already toldja, eating your placenta is a good thing. Prevents post-partum depression.
i'm so scared to have babies,i'm in my early twenties. i always thought that most births were natural in the hospital, i had no idea they forced c-sections on people, i thought that was only for emergencies. i had heard about them rushing mothers out too early though, but when i'm married when and if i have kids, it will be natural if all possible, i want to feel the whole pregnancy thing and go through what my mother and my grandmother went through and what women have been going through for thosands of years, i don't want the new-fancy ass technology b.s. but in all liklihood, i'll probably adopt a kid anyway, i'm so scared of birthing, pain ahhhhh, but i guess its just something you have to endure and i'm sure its worth it. but you'll do great siddity and i'm sure when you do your natural birth all will go well and you'll be so overjoyed about the baby, the pain won't matter at all.
I had a great labor with no problems. I actually enjoyed it. They let us videotape and take pictures of the entire thing. My husband cut the cord and caught the placenta. I cried when I felt his head and saw him come out in the mirror. I've had friends who get C-sections in order to make the tummy tucks easier. When you think about it, it is the same procedure. It's crazy to be that vain, but obviously when there are complications, it can't be helped. I'm such a baby when it comes to pain, but in hindsight, the labor just felt like bad menstrual cramps. It's really not that bad, the pain is doable.
Obviously, how you decide to give birth is your decision. Each person experiences pain differently and has their own level of pain tolerance so it seems unfair to hound someone to do something based on someone else's experience.
I chose a hospital midwife. I'm glad that I had an open mind with my two. I went into labor with my water breaking at about 5 on Friday night with my first. I was in labor until about 2 Sunday morning before I could get anything for the pain. I was thankful. With my second there were complications. I was fighting a c-section, but in the end I did what was best for the both of us. I never felt pressured to do anything I didn't want.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, Siditty! I look forward to reading about it over the months. Thank you for sharing this part of your life.
Hippies are dirty?
You are not dirty hippie! You are doing what women have been doing without assistance of OBs(mostly men)for centuries.
When I had my 2nd son, everyone on the floor of my military hospital was practically pushing me to get an epidural or some type of drug. I eventually won that fight.
I went natural for all three of my children. I did the birthing center also, but because we were military we had to do hospital. Luckily though I had the same Mid-wife that delivered my daughter, deliver my first son too.
I luvvvved my Mid-wife! She was right on point with me. She made sure I had no IV, no medical intervention, and optimal birthing position. All of my kids where fast labors and births because of it. Just a natural birth experience.
I didn't circumcise my son either.
Advice: Make a birthing plan!!! Finalize it with your Mid-wife and husband! Make sure you have a second birthing plan that gives you a bit of control if something happens.
Lastly, enjoy the next few months, it goes by fast...might not seem like it, but it does..lol
Good for you. I have had 2 babies, the first with no drugs but with a OB in the hospital. Not the greatest experience. For my youngest, I used a midwife and planned to deliver at a free standing birthing center but in labor things changed and I had to go to the hospital.
That said, I cannot say enough about using a midwife when its a good fit.
If you haven't already been there, check out mothering.com, they have a magazine as well as a discussion board and its a wealth of knowledge when it comes to midwives and natural childbirth.
Congratulations, Siditty!
I delivered drug-free in a birthing center, and that was many years ago. I still remember all of the good stuff-- the music we played, how hungry I was (be sure to eat before you go!), and how my body seemed to have a life of its own.
Once I realized it was doing all the work, I was able to flow with it, marvelously. It was a wonderful life-altering experience, and I wouldn't change it for anything.
My midwife wasn't available, and while her replacement was very kind, her breath was really bad. After a few strong contractions, I was able to tell her she had to do something about it, but the real lesson was that this was my time. Even at such a vulnerable time, I hope you continue to assert yourself during your delivery, just as you have on your blog.
After my beautiful daughter was born, everything became her time, of course-- but put yourself first, until then.
Blessings to you, your husband, and Siditty Jr!
Well, i know i ain't a mom, pregnant or anything but I like to comment so I'll comment anyway:
I can honestly say that in the first video that is EXACTLY what english doctors are like. Trust me, i get taught by them everyday.
One of my aunts had her 3 children in different countries. Her first with us in Belgium, one in Canada and the other in the US. She said out of all of them the Belgian hospitals were the best as they did not rush her out and they spent a lot of time with her.
I watched a woman give a natural birth in a Belgian hospital in 2006 as part of my work experience...Her husband threw up so he had to leave...Well...It looked pianful...and although I always wanted a natural birth...after seeing that...oh wow, i can't describe it. It looked amazing and painful at the same time.
After seeing that I told me mum that when i had a baby i wuld have a c-section...she said i was crazy and that if i didn't have a natural birth i was not a real woman...:-P
I love babies...
OH and, at the hospitsal all the women seemed very happy when the Anesthetist came round with his epidurals at the ready. Anjd all the husbands seemed happy..but spaced out and nervous at the same time...
Oh and when my mother was pregnant with my little brother the day/night she went into labour was the scariest thing ever !! Maybe because I was 8 at the time. But all I remember is that she wouldn't stop screaming !!!!
...hope i am not scaring you...sorry i talk too much
I am to the point where I want to deliver our next kid. I love Midwives so don't get me wrong. Being a Midwife is probably the oldest profession in existence. (not to mention my hatred for allopathic medicine)
Also you don't have to worry about being pressured into anything when birthing outside the hospital, Don't have to fill out paperwork, don't have to be pressured to get your kid a SSN, no unnecessary vaccines, A HELL of a lot cheaper too.
(just read an article about the AMA using a new study to cover up thimerosal causing autism to divert liability)
Also don't forget that it was because of midwives that doctors started washing their hands in the first place.
All in all having kids is alot of fun. My wife thinks so too. Being pregnant raises your serotonin levels and decreases your risks of various types of cancer the more kids you have.
I am excited for you! YAY!
BTW! Do you want a boy or a girl?
Sounds like an informed choice. Best wished to you and your baby!
Congrats Siditty,what made you want a drug free birth? I have heard lots of women vying for that.
Suesue said she said i was crazy and that if i didn't have a natural birth i was not a real woman...:-P
I know that your Mom was just telling you that, but I just wanted to comment on it. There are many women who think this way that are natural birthers. Although the health risks for natural is less than a major surgery, it doesn't make you less of a woman if you opt for drugs. It is always safer to go natural, but sometimes mother nature goes wrong and that is when medical intervention is warranted.
I've heard many natural birthers say this to those who chose not to go all out natural for their child's birth. Although I think it is their opinion, they shouldn't force their beliefs and guilt an expectant mother into choosing something that she knows she might not be able to handle.
I just wanted to comment on that, not toward your mother, but just the comment itself.
I will send out positive vibes that your labor is similar to mine. This is how labor was for me: water breaks at 10:30am, I call my mom and make flight arangements for her, then call my husband who is at army drill and tell him to come home, then i call a freind so she can watch my son. I hop in the shower and get dressed and we head to the hospital (im having a few minor contractions in the car). We get to the hospital at 12:30 and they get me in a room and hooked up to the monitoring equiptment by 1pm. The contractins start coming fast and furious about 1:30 and and at exactly 3 I havea baby girl. No time for drugs...lol Fast and furious. The birth of my son was simliar.
Just wanted to put my 2 cents in...I just had my baby 4 weeks ago at home and it was the ride of my life! It was such a wonderful experience and my father took the photos and my mother caught the baby under the direction of our midwife. My husband and I cried buckets and it was such a wonderful experience that nobody can take away from me. You go and have that birth center birth and enjoy it. I used Hypnobabies and Hypnobirthing for my classes and they were great in helping me focus and stay on top of things. I know your mom thinks you may be strange for wanting it natural, but I can say my baby was alert, never had jaundice, I got up minutes after the birth and walked around a bit, and he nurses like a champ. All worth it. Best of luck to you.
I just wanted to add that my labor was 31 1/2 hours and 1 1/2 hours of pushing for a total of 33 hours. My baby was also 8lbs 14oz. though I just generally say 9lbs. Those two ounces are miniscule. You can do this!!!
Got damn Kemi!!! You were a trooper!! Congrats on your baby boy and positive birth experience!!
you know what siditty, I respect whatever choice you want to make. I know that midwifery is thought by some to be a lost art, way beyond the cliché. I wish for you the best experience here that you can have, and that you an your baby will be healthy in the end. You of course don't have to justify your decision to anyone although some of the push back is probably from genuine concern based in part on ignorance...
has anyone ever heard of a movie called "the wedding?" it's about these bougie black folks in martha's vineyard?
Rosyln sd:
"And I already toldja, eating your placenta is a good thing. Prevents post-partum depression."
Errrrm, huh? Do women really eat their placentas?
Yes they do Soila. Yes they do. It is supposed to provide nutrients and prevent post partum depression.
Thanks you guys for all the positive vibes. My father is thinking I am off my rocker and that I need to go see a doctor to get a real prognosis on the progression of my pregnancy, and then he called me a wimp and told me I would beg for an epidural.
I think I am making the right decision for the baby though, so I hope to continue with my current path, no matter how painful it may be.
Sid sd:
"Yes they do Soila. Yes they do. It is supposed to provide nutrients and prevent post partum depression."
Oh wow!
Are YOU going to eat your placenta Sid?
Oh no. I will save that for someone else. I feel that I will get my nutrients from food and vitamins, not placenta.I don't feel comfortable with eating placenta. It kind of borders on cannibalism, and since I am a vegetarian, I cannot partake in such things.
Sid sd:
"Oh no. I will save that for someone else. I feel that I will get my nutrients from food and vitamins, not placenta.I don't feel comfortable with eating placenta. It kind of borders on cannibalism, and since I am a vegetarian, I cannot partake in such things."
Sid,
I came back hoping that you hadnt answered the question in my last post because I realised how rude and intrusive a question it was. I hope I didnt offend you. If I did, many, many, deep apologies.
Been thinking about placentas all day today (atleast from the time I watched that youtube video) and Lord knows, I have no interest in seeing/ eating meat for now :(
I almost barfed all over myself seeing people eat part of themselves and their baby and worst of all, sharing it with others. Eish!!!
Well Siddity, I am in Italy and had no other alternative but natural. I am actually sixth months post partum. In fact, I think what I will do is rehash the details just to give you an idea of what it was like. If I were to compare the experience, although I would have loved having the creature comforts of the America, it was fast. Check my blog, I will post about it soon.
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