For all those that don't know I am a bit of a music fiend. I have over 5,000 songs in my itunes library. 5,348 songs to be exact, and that changes constantly.I was on a music binge while twittering last night. Yes, on Saturday nights I sit at home blogging, listening to music, and twittering, I have no life. Anyway my music listening made me eager to youtube old music videos, and it struck me, as a middler schooler and high schooler, I could easily crush on any man in a music video of groups I liked. These men weren't particularly attractive, just musicians. I love Robert Smith of The Cure. I had the "Boys Don't Cry" poster on my wall. I loved Morrissey, knowing good and damn well he doesn't like girls. I liked Sean Dickson of the Soup Dragons. Even Phil King of Lush. I think even at one point I loved Mike Edwards of
Jesus Jones. Don't laugh. You guys know you loved his fancy cool hat.
Now note, most of these men, not really attractive, they were just bands I liked and for some reason developed crushes on the lead singers or the guitarists. Why I liked these bands and music so much, I don't know what initially attracted me to them. I should go ahead and let folks know that I was late to watching many of these music videos because for a few years our cable company felt MTV* was satanic. I heard most of these bands on the radio first and then saw them in videos. Note though, all these guys have something in common. Some of them I believe started some of my preferences I think. As I have stated before, for some reason I like tall white guys with blue or green eyes and dark hair, like they just stand out to me more than others in average. I married a tall guy with green eyes and dark hair. Did my taste in music coerce my preferences in men? I often wonder if that was the case. I can distinctly remember crushing on a guy at school because he looked like Martin Gore of Depeche Mode (see video above). The irony of crushing on the whitest member of Depeche Mode is he is actually half black. His father was an African American GI from Virginia. I digress. You know I would :)
Did my music also influence my preferences in men? I am wondering looking at some of these men. I also question why I like men who wear make up and in many cases look kind of feminine. Maybe I need to talk to a therapist about the androgynous love I had going on.
*A side note for the younger viewers of this blog, before "The Real World", "The Hills", and all those other craptacular reality shows became the norm for MTV, MTV actually did something crazy called playing music videos the majority of the time. I know this is crazy that Music Television aka MTV showed music videos, imagine that!
33 comments:
Oh Thank You soooo much for this post- I love Depeche Mode ( along with the other bands you have mentioned)- always have and always will!!!! LOL about Martin Gore, there are a few "fans" who are still in denial about his heritage ... although my fave is Alan.... great post!!!!!
Hey Siditty do you like the song from The Lost Boys soundtrack
"Cry Little Sister"? It's by G Tom Mac. I love that song.
Jason Patrick was so hot and sexy in there. I still drool when I see that movie. I love his hair.
SIMONE
No shame in liking Robert Smith, not at all!
And my fave member of DM is Dave Gahan.
It's weird cos I develop such likings for musicians, just because they are making music I love and nothing more. John Frusciante is but one example.
5,348? You make me feel like a freak. As it stands, I have enough music in my tower hard drive to not hear the same song twice for a month and a half. The best part is when I "discover" things I didn't know I had.
My monolithic-and-still-growing collection disturbed my mom because it's always on random. She used to ask "how do you go from that...to THAT?!?!" all the time. I think she's since given up and has finally accepted that I was a product of the environment they gave me. My parents had Patsy Cline, 2 Live Crew, the Isleys, Kenny G, the Doobie Brothers, Hiroshima, Marvin Gaye, Coco Montoya, and NWA rubbing shoulders together on the same shelf among other things. It does things to a person.
I don't think the music did anything to my preference in men. I don't like dudes in makeup; however, I will make an exception for Dave Navarro and Nikki Sixx. Even my mom is with me on Dave and she only knew him from that TV show he did for a while.
I was more caught up in Duran Duran's badassery as a child; Nile Rodgers did wonders for that band's beats. Depeche Mode's stock went up when I became a teenager. "Stripped" and the giant remix albums are happy, happy, happy.
I liked MTV when it was the good music and VH1 was for old people. I liked that they showed the whole video, not just the middle 30 seconds. I also liked the TV shows. The home game version of "Remote Control" is one of my most prized possessions from when I was little; my babysitter who was much older than me gave it to me when she turned 18. My mom and I had an odd affinity for Joe's Apartment, too.
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@Simone:
I think that movie made me hit puberty early. Between Jason Patrick's hair and Keifer Sutherland *used to have a major crush on Billy Idol when she was little, too*, it was done for me.
My friend and I used to watch it every time I spent the night at her house. Her little brother would catch a beatdown from us angry tweens if he interrupted "Cry Little Sister."
Did you like hard rock or heavy metal by any chance?
You've educated me! Had no idea that Martin Gore was half-black - although his father must have been extremely light skinned. Always loved Depeche Mode.
"Personal Jesus" and Enjoy the Silence" were my fave Depeche Mode songs. I was into the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Duran Duran as well. I felt like the only Black girl who was into them at my school. I loved the Cure, although I didn't have a crush on any of them. Robert Smith looked like he came out of a mental institution, but he was captivating to watch live. MTV probably pushed me over the edge.
I have no idea what influenced your prefrence but I do have to say I have never met a black guy who was into the Cure. I'm sure they are out there but good luck finding him, and when you do, what are the odds that he is "dateable"?
Digitalcoyote...
Dave Navarro? I'm still trying to figure out how a guy from such a great band, Jane's Addiction, could mess up the Chili Peppers so badly? I have never been as happy as when John re-joined the Peppers and Dave got the boot.
Long Live RHCP... the Uplift Mofo Party Plan Peppers!
Darlingjezebel,
Depeche Mode was one of my favorite bands in high school. I haven't really heard anything past Ultra though. Sad huh?
In terms of the denial, there are probably many a white women pissed off at the prospect of crushing on a half black man. I once freaked out my friend who was in love with Wentworth Miller, she had no idea he was biracial. She was in shock and a little bit hurt LOL
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I own the Lost Boys on DVD. I have nothing but Jason Patric love. Not a big fan of the song, but a HUGE fan of the movie!!!!!
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It's weird cos I develop such likings for musicians, just because they are making music I love and nothing more. John Frusciante is but one example.
I don't understand what it is about guys who can play music. It just makes them more attractive I guess :) I'm glad John returned to the Chili Peppers though. They didn't sound right without him.
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digitalcoyote,
I can only do about 15 days with no repeating. My ipod is almost full though. So I have to download carefully. I can't do an ipod touch because it doesn't hold as much, so I have a ipod classic.
I don't do random well for some reason though. I have to have the music match. I think that is why I create so many different playlists. I can't go from Chemical Brothers to Skinny Puppy, it just isn't right.
I so had the game remote control for our nintendo growing up. An awesome game!!!!!!!! I remember the show as well with Adam Sandler, Dennis Leary, and Colin Quinn. The only game show I ever really liked :)
I have a love/hate relationship with MTV. I think MTV ruined music as we know it. As soon as anything mainstreams it becomes crap. Case and point when Nirvana and the whole grunge scene got big, all these dime a dozen big record label acts ot into the mix. People were comparing Pearl Jam to No Doubt. Nirvana to Bush and Candlebox. UUuggghhhh. Bush was never alternative, but it got lumped into the whole alternative moniker. No Doubt really wasn't alternative either, but pop.
Lormarie,
I like some metal and some hard rock, but it depends on what you define as metal or hardrock. I love Danzig. I like "One" era Metallica. Megadeath. Motorhead is ok. I was more into industrial rock than metal I guess. Skinny Puppy Nitzer Ebb, Pop Will Eat Itself, Ministry. That kind of stuff. My husband is more into metal than me. He loves Iron Maiden, one of his favorite groups.
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You've educated me! Had no idea that Martin Gore was half-black - although his father must have been extremely light skinned. Always loved Depeche Mode.
His father might not be light skinned, he just might have the genes for it. It is like two dark skinned people having a lighter child, it happens all the time, we never question it.
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. Robert Smith looked like he came out of a mental institution, but he was captivating to watch live.
He did, my mother thought my Boys Don't Cry poster was creepy.
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I do have to say I have never met a black guy who was into the Cure. I'm sure they are out there but good luck finding him, and when you do, what are the odds that he is "dateable"?
You know what I met one, once. He didn't date black girls though. What is funny to me is that my husband and I don't listen to the same kind of stuff he is into hip hop, mostly old school now, he was the one who exposed me to Three Six Mafia, he had been listening to them for YEARS. Way before they started "Poppin My Collar", when they were still kind of underground. Since at least high school.
Come to think of it, every guy I have pretty much ever dated, take away one or two didn't listen to the same stuff I did, which is weird because I was a huge music snob for a long time. I still cringe when the term "Alternative Rock" came forth because people would ask me do I like groups like Nickelback and Lit. Hell to tha naw!!!!!
Dave Navarro? I'm still trying to figure out how a guy from such a great band, Jane's Addiction, could mess up the Chili Peppers so badly? I have never been as happy as when John re-joined the Peppers and Dave got the boot
Dave Navarro's problem was he sold out. I was through with him when he decided to become reality TV star gameshow host. Was money that tight Dave? Rockstar? The new Gong Show? You came from Jane's Addition man!!!! Ritual de lo Habitual is a classic album!!!!
I own the Lost Boys on DVD. I have nothing but Jason Patric love. Not a big fan of the song, but a HUGE fan of the movie!!!!!
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I played that song over and over and over again the other day. It's so haunting and sexy at the same time. I know it's creepy, but I have a thing for Vamps and that song just does it for me.
SIMONE
SIMONE.
@Brohammas:
I'm gonna say that my fascination with him is genetic: my mom thinks he's pretty hot too. I knew RHCP before Jane's Addiction, musically and visually. The first time I ever saw RHCP in a video was from the One Hot Minute era; "Under the Bridge" and things like that came later. Navarro struck me as someone a bit more down to earth than--and appreciative of what he has---a lot of other musicians so he stood out to me.
I wasn't so interested in either band that I did any further investigating. Bands from where I grew up (Metallica, Green Day, Journey, Faith No More, En Vogue, Tony Toni Tone, 4 non blondes, etc.) I knew all about.
Then I discovered industrial and Tanzmetal, revisited Siouxsie/Skinny Puppy/Sisters of Mercy while avoiding Bauhaus like the plague, and it was all over. =)
@Siditty:
I can understand that--my mp3 player is small (8GB) and I've been too lazy to get an SD card to expand it. I'm still amazed by the things. I went to Comdex ('98 or '99) when I was in high school and Creative was selling the first one, a six battery monster with...wait for it...512kb of memory for $600.
I think I live on random because I like seeing if I can hear everything? Most songs I listen to frequently are complicated in how they are arranged, irrespective of genre. It makes me feel better about being sort of tone deaf if I can pick out all the different nuances in style and arrangement. It's also a fun way to mess with people--they don't know what to expect when the switch between music types is so..abrupt? They think they have you pegged and then there's nothing but confusion.
Did the people around you, particularly family, give you grief about your listening choices? My dad, half responsible for my tastes, always called me "grey baby" or "zebra." My great aunt was dressing me down for buying an issue of Guitar Player while I was paying for it at the register. The cashier took up for me, sort of, and said she'd rather have her grandkids listening to what I did "than that rap crap." I swear, it's like Hendrix and Living Colour, and Thin Lizzy (Phil Lynott, lead singer/bassist, was black) never existed.
My Remote Control isn't even NES high-tech: the damn thing has metal clickers on the underside of some molded plastic remotes. They make that weird pop noise like flicking the tab on a can of soda.
I learn new things whenever I read this blog. I didn't know Wentworth Miller was part black!
And I (partially) blame/thank MTV for expanding my horizons, both in terms of music and men...although now I think MTV is just full of crap shows.
oh siddy, you are soooo whiiiite its a shame!!!
do you believe in multiculturalism by any chance???
I think my preference for women who look good in Chanel or tennis skirts came from my days of being on swim teams (Those Country Club women were so damned nice.)
@ brohammas - Maybe the Black guy who was in The Cure liked The Cure.
In Cali., any Black person who lived in the burbs and listened to KROQ liked The Cure.
Sid,
I swear, I say it all the time, but is it possible to be separated at birth with someone who is younger than you? Because I swear we are the same person. From Depeche Mode (Alan Wilder girl here. God, I miss him!) to Nitzer Ebb to Danzig, I'm totally with you (and finally, someone else who knows and loves Lush! They were always my favorite shoegaze band!). And I've mentioned this before, but Morrissey is a god to me. He may have ambiguous sexuality, but it works for me! Back in the day, I wasn't necessarily attracted to him, but he has aged so well. I saw him in concert back in April, and the dude looks marvelous for 50! That makes me feel really ancient though, since I've loved him since I was 11.
Just like you copped to some embarrassing crushes on musicians, I have to fess up too. I used to love Shaun Ryder from the Happy Mondays. Good goddess, why? Back in the day he was semi-cute, but drugs do NOT do a body good! When I saw his frightening disembodied head in the Gorillaz video for "Dare", I realized that even before all the heroin took a toll, he didn't look that good. But give me some "Kinky Afro" any day, and I'm alright!
Winnowill said...
Depeche Mode (Alan Wilder girl here. God, I miss him!)
... you have great taste!!!!
Then I discovered industrial and Tanzmetal, revisited Siouxsie/Skinny Puppy/Sisters of Mercy while avoiding Bauhaus like the plague, and it was all over. =)
How could you avoid Bauhaus? God In An Alcove is pure genius!!!!!
Did the people around you, particularly family, give you grief about your listening choices?
My parents not so much, my tastes varied and I have a father who likes country. (ICK) I had a Billie Holliday poster along with the Cure and Smiths posters on my wall. My cousins on the other hand, thought I was so weird. They mostly made fun of how I talk, but the first time my cousin heard me listening to Violent Femmes she looked at me crazy!!!!!!
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I learn new things whenever I read this blog. I didn't know Wentworth Miller was part black!
His father is black, his mother is white :) I learned that when he was in the Human Stain
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oh siddy, you are soooo whiiiite its a shame!!!
do you believe in multiculturalism by any chance???
I do believe in multiculturalism. Why would I not? I am not white, I just have varied interests :)
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I think my preference for women who look good in Chanel or tennis skirts came from my days of being on swim teams (Those Country Club women were so damned nice.)
I have a strong hatred of country clubs. The housing development my parents live in has a country club and they refuse to join, even though my father loves golf and they live right off the golf course. It is an old school thing I guess.
What black guy was in the Cure? I wasn't aware, I know they have changed up the lineup, but I don't think there was ever an official black guy member of the cure?
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Back in the day, I wasn't necessarily attracted to him, but he has aged so well. I saw him in concert back in April, and the dude looks marvelous for 50!
I wanted to go, but other stuff got in the way!!!!! I love Morrissey. I've only loved him since about 13. Sad isn't it.
OMG the Happy Mondays, I loved them, I almost listed him as a crush, but yes the drug thing was a total turnoff. The man can barely talk now. The only reason that song is called Dare is because he is the drugs have fried his brain so much he can't even say there LOL Did you see his teeth? He had to have them fixed because the drugs messed them up. Step On was my song though. I had that CD, I can't find it to save my life though. Still aren't as bad as Shane MacGowan of the Pogues. Those teeth were always out of control. He is the poster child for excessive alcohol abuse.
Andy Anderson
he was the drummer
the "black guy"in The Cure
from 1983-1984
Sid, you are wrong for that link!! LOL, you need to warn somebody before you expose them to that scariness! Even sadder than the state of Shaun's teeth is the fact that he had to basically fundraise the money to get them replaced. The man who gave us the greatness of "Pills, Thrills and Bellyaches" and Black Grape has been mired in litigation for years and is pretty much broke. I guess that's what happens when one of your album tracks begins with the sound of a crack pipe being fired up!
Did you ever see the documentary about Shane MacGowan, "If I Should Fall from Grace"? It is a great doc, but terribly sad. Shane is one of the most amazing singers and lyricists ever; his voice is by no means beautiful or clear, but it is powerful and haunting, and moves me so. But this is a guy who starting drinking stout at four, and whiskey at ten. It is so wrong for me as a therapist to say this, but with that start, I think he was doomed. However, GOOD NEWS! Shane finally got new teeth too! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1183171/Oh-bye-gum-Shane-MacGowan-FINALLY-gets-set-new-teeth.html
"How could you avoid Bauhaus? God In An Alcove is pure genius!!!!!"
The first---and last---song I actively sought out was "Bella Legosi's Dead." I couldn't remember if it was something I liked when I was younger; Mom was all about David Bowie, so I HAD to watch "The Hunger." Voltaire name-checks it in "Vampire Club" so I decided to try it again.
The dissonance in the music and construction equipment (?) slamming in to things gave me a rotten headache, kind of like Art of Noise's extended cut of "Moments in Love."
I was listening to Sirius and 1st Wave (the station where Siouxsie, the Smiths, the Cure, Morrisey, and all them are usually hiding on the weekends) snuck Bauhaus' cover of "Ziggy Stardust" by me. That wasn't bad.
I'll put down the Pantera (it's been that kind of week) and give your suggestion an honest college try and get back to you? ^_^
Did my music also influence my preferences in men? I am wondering looking at some of these men. I also question why I like men who wear make up and in many cases look kind of feminine. Maybe I need to talk to a therapist about the androgynous love I had going on.
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Interesting, SIditty. I like the same kinds of bands you do, but I can't say they influenced my taste in men much. I like the intangible human stuff more...so there's no outward look per se. So if I had to put together a cohesive profile based on looks, I couldn't. But I do veer toward androgyny. (Hey if you grew up in the 80s, how could you not!)
I definitely like men who have both the masculine and the feminine developed. I do, so why shouldn't I want the same? I tend to hate alpha male/female gender roles. Too stiff & conformist. Since I'm a woman I would most certainly lose if I adhered to them. Honestly, I don't see why most women limit themselves this way. Most of us are essentially still slaves.
That said, I like all kinds of music and oddly enough, I like all kinds of men. I just wished all kinds of men liked me back!
WOW Soup Dragons, I had to go over to youtube real fast and listen to divine thing. Forgot about that band!
On an aside do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
Sorry to derail the topic, but can you explain to me how to make the URL optional for the comments section? My blog won't allow "Name" comments without a URL, but I am able to do that when I comment on your blog.
Thanks :-)
(formerly Jamesthegirl28)
Just allow for anyone, including anonymous to post topics in the settings tab of the dashboard
I still have the biggest crush on Robin Zander from Cheap Trick - and will follow them for at least two states when they are on tour!
Yep I loves my long blond haired boys - cept now at my age, they've all gone grey and bald!
A Black guy in The Cure?
Yep.
Just watch the "Love Cats" video.
He isn't bi-racial Black - He is Ba-lack.
LOL..My first star crush was Rod Stewart and then Rick Springfield but when I discovered the Cure, Depeche Mode and Duran Duran came I was done. Nick Rhodes was/is my MAN. Effeminate as all get out but somehow pure male to me...even if he does wear his makeup better than me. I still chase him 20 yr later. LOL My mother threaten to make me go to her (black) church rather than my (white)one because clearly the devil was tainting me. My first real boyfriend wore eyeliner/shadow and black nail polish. I dated a few like that actually. But then I married a man completely opposite of that.
Hey, Ms. Rony!!! Glad to see you here. Love your profile picture. Anyway, I really liked Morrissey too, even though he said that he was asexual.
do believe in multiculturalism. Why would I not? I am not white, I just have varied interests :)
your like a privileged white girl with 'varied interests' thats all lol
FunkyStarkitty50 said...
Hey, Ms. Rony!!! Glad to see you here. Love your profile picture. Anyway, I really liked Morrissey too, even though he said that he was asexual.
Hey lady thanks! Girl..he was completely sexual to me...maybe it was the hormones..He just hadnt met ME!!!LOL
My Mother's favourite show while I was growing up was "Star Trek: The Next Generation". One of our Mother/Daughter rituals was to watch the latest episode together every single weekend, without fail. My Mother was a busy woman, and those Saturdays with the crew of the Enterprise remain some of my fondest memories of bonding with her.
I am convinced it is responsible for my attraction to older, balding white men. I tell my partner all the time that I'm only with him because he's going to be "Patrick Stewart hot" once he's over the hill!
Of course, I also find Djimon Hounsou absolutely gorgeous. Maybe it's the bald head...
I can't say whether music had much of an influence on my taste in men. My tastes are opera and jazz, Duran Duran and Metisse.
I think there's tremendous cultural importance to Martin Gore's ethnic heritage. It is fascinating that one of Britain's most (arguably) "soulful" (in the strictest, emotional sense of the word) musical and lyrical voices would be revealed to be half-black. So your readers know, I've found two reliable sources for this. One is Miller's book Stripped on Omnibus Press, and another is this interview with Fletch by JD Constantine in Revolver May/June 2001. Here's the link to the Revolver article.
http://www.sacreddm.net/2000s/rvl010501/rvl010501main.htm
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