2009-08-30

Holding Hands





I don't know how I feel about this movie.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't care for this movie. First of all the beginning was offensive to me. If my Puerto Rican fiance EVER called me a "nigger" even in joke, lets just say he'd be a single man picking his teeth up off the floor. I am a black woman of Ghanaian/Dominican descent. Maybe its just been my lifestyle or the fact I've resided in bigger citites but I have never received stupid comments from family or friends. Most people think my fiance is white and I NEVER had people stare or point or whisper behind their hands. I know a lot of black women and black men who date interacially and when we've talked over the years none of them have ever had these confrontations or criticism's from family or friends either. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen because clearly it does but I don't think its as big a deal to most people anymore I just don't. Maybe there is some naivete but thats just my two cents.

kyleth said...

I think it's loathsome all around from the racial jokes to the typical bwwm interracial tragedy (even if they did draw attention to themselves by wearing asinine t-shirts). The characters were offensively obvious and though race does affect a lot of people daily, they made it a point to say 'here we are!'

It was cringe worthy.

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Siditty,

As I watched this movie about two people in love, I found myself disturbed by both the words and images that unveiled.

The opening restaurant scene caught me off-guard because it didn't dawn on me that the relationship of the couple was also a social statement by them as well.

The disdain by friends, followed by the general public was intensified because the couple incited an emotional response.

Was her best friend saying, "You can come to the barbeque" because she didn't want them using it for their own social agenda or because she didn't want a White man to come?

I wrote a recent post (Hitler is the new Nigger) about the destructive nature of a single defining word to many Black people.

Would it bother me to see a White man wearing a shirt which proclaimed, "I love Niggers"? Yes, but it wouldn't incite me to cause or want that person harmed any more than when I see a civil war flag displayed on a car, truck or flag pole. To me they are both expressions born of ignorance.

I had no sense of vindication watching a White man beaten for wearing a shirt emblazoned with a word that triggered an emotional and physical assault.

While it may not be popular to display the stars and bars, I don't think it stirs the reaction of the word "Nigger".

Perhaps I'm being naive or what's portrayed in these clips is naive.

Perhaps this movie is saying what Whites have been saying, "Blacks need to get over racial differences that pre-date slavery".

Watching it certainly gave me something to say but it left me with unanswered questions.

U

Siditty said...

If my Puerto Rican fiance EVER called me a "nigger" even in joke, lets just say he'd be a single man picking his teeth up off the floor. I am a black woman of Ghanaian/Dominican descent. Maybe its just been my lifestyle or the fact I've resided in bigger citites but I have never received stupid comments from family or friends. Most people think my fiance is white and I NEVER had people stare or point or whisper behind their hands.

In terms of the terms on the shirts, and the n*gger jokes, I was dumbfounded, my husband and I like to share jokes, but not those kind of jokes. In terms of family and friends, my parents had concerns, my friends were supportive, but a few said things, and when we first got together, we got whispers or stares. Maybe it is Texas, but we gotten stares while on vacation in different parts of the country as well.

------------

I think it's loathsome all around from the racial jokes to the typical bwwm interracial tragedy (even if they did draw attention to themselves by wearing asinine t-shirts). The characters were offensively obvious and though race does affect a lot of people daily, they made it a point to say 'here we are!'

Yeah I thought the same thing. It seems a recurring them BW/WM relationships are always doomed. Not to mention I just can't fathom doing the shirt thing to go to a barbeque in which my spouse or significant other has expressly not been invited. Nor would I think it be a good idea to go to the fast food place where people leave threatening notes on my car.

It seems like they had a death wish.

Siditty said...

Perhaps this movie is saying what Whites have been saying, "Blacks need to get over racial differences that pre-date slavery".

To be honest I have no clue what this movie was saying. I don't think this couple was doomed simply because it was IR, but actually because they reacted to the negative reactions so poorly.

brohammas said...

I would never, will never say that word, or write that word, in any context. My wife regularly uses it as a noun, adjective, verb, exclamation... whatever.

We have and do get lots of stares and sometimes comments. It all depends on what part of town or in what venue (I frequent rasta shops, and black book stores, we live in a highly unionized, white part of town).

I think the movie was stupid. Even with the level of "asking for it" I do in real life, more than most, our life is never that confrontational... not in the slightest.

Boom said...

A ridiculous, pretentious, pseudo intellectual piece of shit.

graphixie said...

I second what boom and kyleth said.
Was I supposed to be sad at the end of this because all I felt was ??wth??

This reminded me a little bit of
"Neo Ned" (with Gabrielle Union), except Neo Ned seemed to have some sort of point or whatever, whereas this was just...well I hope they got a decent grade on their class project for production quality.

DineBoo said...

I'm from Texas, and even though we live in the weirdest place (Austin), my hubby and I have got a few stares. Not as much as other people, but you can tell.

What's funny is that we get the looks sometimes from all races! My hubby is Native American, but looks Hispanic(almost Asian) from a distance, so we get the looks from blacks and hispanics! We even got looks from another interracial couple once. That was funny.

FunkyStarkitty50 said...

I just don't know about this. It's difficult to take it seriously because they don't act very mature in social situations. Sometimes the best way to combat ignorance is silence. Stooping to the level of stupidity only makes it worse.

Kristin said...

Cringe worthy indeed. The opening scene killed it for me from that moment on.

Grata said...

I am curious about the writer or producer and their back ground.

Problem with this couple is alot of time is spent reacting to what other people think of them than on themselves.

Such a relationship can't last. What happens when you fail to grow together and still you have this external pressure.

The restaurant scene was just plain rude. I have a problem when BM with WW try to get in my face and the same applies the other way round. I have seen some BW in IR try to get my attention while they are with their men. I am usually in my own little world when in public but often get interrupted by such people. Its more common with BM though,rarely do BW get in your face.

Short story.
Recently I was in long line at a store and the register next to me got openned. I turned to get in the new line and this black guy came rushing and tried to cut in infront of me. I looked at him and he backed off. But he stood so close behind me, I felt uncomfortable so I moved forward to give myself some space. While I am waiting for the cashier to get settled in, this white woman comes and looks like she is going to bump me with her cart. So I was thinking, this woman sees two people in line and tries to force herself between so rudely. I gave her way wondering why there are people just trying to step on my toes. She keeps shoving her cart back and forth as if playfully threatening me. Then I realized they were together and were just in effect bullying me. So I move farther and then start looking at the magazines on the stand behind me to avoid them. This woman walks around and comes next to me and grabs the magazine right in front of my eyes. By this time the cashier was ready. I checked out really fast and left. It left me wondering how abusive some of these IR couples can be. Its like they expect to be given grief so they start giving it out before its given to them.

The characters in this film went out harrassing people and they got what they were looking for.

There are just enough challenges for two individuals trying to grow in love even more so for IR couples, your least concern should be public acceptance. If you find yourself more concerned about that then your relationship is pretty weak and are looking for excuses for it not to work.

Orchid said...

This movie, is an abomination. I think it explains, perfectly, the ignorance of the person who put this together. First of all, the whole "Us against the world" BS was annoying. Most interracial couple do not see their relationships as a sign of rebellion against society. They don't need to make loud statement with offensive words. Just because you are in a relationship with a Black woman/white male/Hispanic female/Asian male whatever does not mean racial slurs are "funny" and "cute". For the director to describe what happened to them as some kind of martyring ritual, or as he described on the you tube video "Tragically, their mischief turns to mayhem and they must defend themselves against and intolerant mob." shows a GROSS misunderstanding of racism and race and a GROSS amount of immaturity.It is almost as if he was repeating the same BS other people say when people get offended by the use of racial slurs. "they're just words! Lighten up!". The characters showed no depth, and the movie was entirely focused on what everyone around them was doing wrong, not the fact that they were terribly immature and terribly offensive to others in an invasive way, puling in people who did not want to be involved in their relationship! This video has me so annoyed. He must be so proud of himself for what he views as a "profound" take on interracial relationships. Ugh. Friggin travesty!

A.Smith said...

I'm wondering if anyone involved in the making of this film has ever actually been an interracial relationship.

Seems to me some of... a lot of... what they were shooting for gets #epicfail status and seems like obvious no-nos to anyone who's been in an IR.

I feel like they wanted the couple to have decided to make everyone else as uncomfortable as everyone else made them, and I feel like many of us who've been in IRs have had those thoughts when you catch someone staring at you, but it's so out of the realm of reality to think a black woman, with any sense, would allow her white boyfriend to walk around with "I Love N*ggers" displayed on his chest.

As if IRs aren't maligned enough. I'd LOVE to hear the writer/directors' explanations... and the actors... did this all make sense to a whole CREW of people? ::confusion::

Orchid said...

A. Smith
he has an explanation on the video page on youtube. Just go to the sidebar where the subscribe button is and click "more info". Reading it will sink you deeper into the "WTF?" zone.

Miss Marche said...

"As if IRs aren't maligned enough. I'd LOVE to hear the writer/directors' explanations... and the actors..."

LMAO! Right. No one... not the cameraguy, the sound person, the editor -- no one gave a side-eye?

Because I'm giving a SERIOUS side-eye.

*side-eye*

I haven't even bothered to play the second part because part one annoyed me so much. (I haven't been in an IR but I can't possibly imagine someone saying, "Don't bring your man bc he's white." I'm not convinced. At all.)

But still... the guy is cute... and the girl is adorable and spunky... and....

Okay, I'm trying to find SOME redeeming quality, and there isn't any.

Again... why was this made...???

American Black Chick in London said...

Interesting film...It seems as if most folks who commented so far don't like/hate this movie. I'm not quite sure what to think. I think I get what the director was trying to do...for example, with the T-shirts, he was trying to visually put out there what some other people silently think about interracial relationships. I think the way he did the film was an attempt to make that silent racism public, overt and in your face to the racists. I still don't agree with the methods he used (especially dropping a racial slur at the beginning....but I figure he did that to build the story), but I think I get what he was trying to say. The ending was extreme though.

On a side note, it seemed as if wearing the T-shirts was the girlfriend's idea, which I find interesting. Not sure why the director decided to go that route.

And coming from a family where my TWIN brother once told me if I married a white man, he wouldn't attending my wedding (happily my brother's views have since changed), as well as constantly being told by extended family members to "not bring home no white boy", I can easily see someone saying "don't bring your man bc he's white" or some variation of that.

On another side note, it would be nice to see a IRR film involving a black woman that's not "us against the world."

扒Elly said...

What an odd fuckin' movie idea....

扒Elly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

This is going to be a long post.

First of all, I see a LOT of hypocracy here. This idea that this poor couple didn't react to the garbage thrown at them (Garbage thrown at them simply because they were a BLACK FEMALE/WHITE MALE couple, NOT because they are an ir couple, let's be real here) the "right" way is a joke. So I guess if BF/WM couples do not laugh and act like "oh that's nothing! tee-hee!" to the blatant bias people throw at them, then they are "wrong"? You want to talk about "wtf"? Well that thinking for me is a MAJOR "wtf"!

Second, this couple was not "asking" for nothing. People went out of their way to make THEM uncomfortable first! Not to mention, the girl's best friend not sticking by her, and those crap threatening letters being put on the boyfriend's windsheild. HOW can anyone say they "deserved" anything after having to endure that mess? I guess since she is Black and he is White and "worst" of all, they are a couple, according to the latest pc doctrine in '09, they don't have the right to get angry at mistreatment, unlike their oh-so-perfect oppressed same race counterparts, who get everything handed to them and are taught that they can say/do whatever they want wenever they want, to/with whoever they want. These poor people simply got fed up and fristrated and wanted to give the same venom back that they were recieveing! Big deal, that is a part of being human! We ALL get fed up and frustrated at times!

Third, before we cry our eyes out for the oh-so-inoccent fast food workers, need I remind you that THEY were harassing the boyfriend?

Fourth, this couple was not together to make any kind of "statement". I got that they truly loved each other, especially in the bedroom scenes. Also, BM/WF couples ALWAYS throw the fact that they're together in everyone's face, and I see NOBODY complaining, Typical hypocracy.

Finally, about the opening scene, when I realized it was a gag between them and that they were a couple, I laughed, laughed out loud. That's right. I said it I went there. Look, Black females are being raped, beaten, neglected, insulted, harrased, and getting a whole bunch of other sick mess done to us EVERY DAY, and I see NO outrage. So don't expect me to go "Gasp, the n-word" when WAR has been declared on my group, and NOTHING is being done about it, nor is there ANY outrage about it, nor any PUBLIC/MAINSTREAM outcry to stop it!

SOILA. said...

What was the point of the movie? I didn't get it and I personally thought it was STUPID to the core. Especially for them to go out in the shirts they were wearing. I don't think the beat downs were warranted just because no one should physically harm another unless provoked physically too but, I also can see where people would get shocked and react without 1st thinking of their actions hence, the beat downs.

Orchid said...

Just wanted to clarify, no one deserve having any violence come to them. that's a no brainer. And I don't recall the fast food worker harassing them, except when he started cussing him out for calling his girlfriend names. You can laugh at life without being offensive, without being vile, and without being poisonous. I am in an interracial relationship. We get stares, we get stupid comments from his dumb dad and his dumb uncle, but we don't need to put on shirts with offensive words on it to laugh at it. there is no way to sugar coat this maggoty ball of crap.

Anonymous said...

In case anyone is interested here is a link to the director's site. His name is Brett Meyer and he was once in an interracial relationship. His email address is on the site too, so you might want to let him know your thoughts on his movie. http://www.smogdance.com/2009/meyer.html

Grata said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Grata said...

Offtopic;

Mohammad Ali is going to Ireland to honor his Irish roots. Interesting.

Grata said...

"Also, BM/WF couples ALWAYS throw the fact that they're together in everyone's face, and I see NOBODY complaining, Typical hypocracy."

Hmmmm. You obviously read selectively because I addressed BM/WW couples in my post including and incident were I was actually harrased by a couple.

"Finally, about the opening scene, when I realized it was a gag between them and that they were a couple, I laughed, laughed out loud. That's right. I said it I went there. Look, Black females are being raped, beaten, neglected, insulted, harrased, and getting a whole bunch of other sick mess done to us EVERY DAY, and I see NO outrage. So don't expect me to go "Gasp, the n-word" when WAR has been declared on my group, and NOTHING is being done about it, nor is there ANY outrage about it, nor any PUBLIC/MAINSTREAM outcry to stop it!"

Good point about more pressing issues to BW. However that doesn't give someone the right to go out and provoke reaction out of strangers.

Pretty Star said...

????

I can honestly say that I have no idea what the point of this film was. I mean, they certainly had my attention in the opening scene, but I don't understand much from there. Just as you said, I crack jokes with my white boyfriend, but not jokes like THAT. Something about their interaction between the protagonist couple was unnatural for that reason. I got that they loved each other very much, and were heading toward a marital union, but when they made crazy jokes with each other, it was awkward, and I just can't believe some of the things they said to each other, even in jest.

And please, give me some credit here, nobody in their right mind would walk around with shirt like that outside of a Klan rally.

And what are the chances that they get separated and run into two separate parties of thugs, both composed entirely of their partner's race??? I understand the technique: the black people that disapprove of him, and the white people who disapprove of her. Fine. Got it. But again, give me a break: if we're dealing with some real shit here, shit like that doesn't magically happen, and I doubt it will happen in broad daylight in a busy park in the middle of a city, or an equally busy subway.

The artistic quality of the film was completely undermined, and indeed, overwhelmed, by the sheer lack of believability in every scene where they are in public, and the scene where they are in bed together, cracking ridiculous jokes that borderline appalled me.

The question "What is going on here?" was always in the back of my mind, but then again, perhaps this is what the creators of this film wanted. Maybe they wanted us to ask just what in the hell is going on here.

--Pretty Star, the Lady of Shallott

Anonymous said...

However that doesn't give someone the right to go out and provoke reaction out of strangers.

But according to you apparently, people do have the right to provoke reactions out of strangers who happen to be BF/WM ir couples.

Typical.

Grata said...

"But according to you apparently, people do have the right to provoke reactions out of strangers who happen to be BF/WM ir couples.

Typical."

Yeah, Typical lack of comprehension on your part. Where do I encourage provoking any reaction out of anyone? Didn't I previously state my position on that or are you reading imaginary text?

I am a BW that is into IR, why would I want anyone provoking me for my dating choices?