Siditty

Awkward Black Girl Interracial Dating

2012-01-26T16:12:00.000-06:00

Black People Can't Swim Anyway, No Biggie, Right?

2011-12-14T11:10:00.003-06:00

I'm reading a story about racism. Me reading about racism? In America? Never. A black girl when visiting her parents decided she wanted to swim in the apartment complex pool. Sounds perfectly normal, right? Apparently the girl swimming in the pool caused the water to go cloudy, at least that is what the land lord said. Her hair products seemed to cause the water to go cloudy. The land lord's solution to keep the water from going cloudy is to make the swimming pool "whites only". Yeah, white people don't use hair products. If the true concern was that the water was cloudy, why not suggest a bathing cap be worn or hair be freshly washed before entering the pool? Oh, I'm sorry, that would make too much sense. I've said this for a while, but post racial America is working on my nerves. The post racial America is the dream of Rand and Ron Paul, and reminds me of the Jim Crow era at times. Yes the government tells people that we can't deny people the same basic rights over every one else based upon skin color. Yes, the government is now evil and that lady should be as racist as she wants. I'm just sad a child in 2011 is getting a "negro wake up call", I thought post racial America was supposed to fix this?

What The Downfall of Herman Cain Taught Me

2011-12-03T16:56:00.009-06:00

So as we all know, the Cain Train has come to a halt. He is probably not going to be our next President. For some people this is a bad thing, but not for me. I'll do my happy dance later. All in all he had a good run, and there was a belief that this man had a chance to be President of the United States. Another black man could be President? It's proof of post racial America, right? Not necessarily.

I often hear from conservatives the reason Barack Obama became President was because he had the black vote, and that blacks voted for him simply because he was black. That is a huge error in judgment. It stereotypes blacks (republicans stereotyping, never!!!!) and simply doesn't look at the broader picture. Blacks have had many chances to vote for black candidates in the past. Alan Keyes, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Shirley Chisholm, Carol Moseley Braun, and Lenora Fulani have all run for President. They were all unsuccessful with ALL of America, including black America. Maybe because it wasn't their time to shine. Maybe because they were too controversial. Maybe it's because black people don't simply vote for black candidates because they're black. If Herman Cain had been successful in snagging the Republican nomination, I think the Republican party thinks it would have split the black vote. It wouldn't. Blacks, no matter how conservative, overwhelmingly vote Democratic. The Republican party could have snagged Oprah Winfrey and resurrected Martin Luther King Jr. from the dead on a double ticket and black people still would not have voted Republican. This is in part due to the Republican party and their Southern Strategy tactics over the last half a century. Black people in general don't trust politicians or the government, but we do know where the bread has been buttered the last half century. We also see the Republican's willingness to embrace the Tea Party and their racist ways. Yes, I know the Tea Party denies being a bunch of racists, and maybe not all of them are racist, but when the accusations flew instead of renouncing the racism, they defended it, over and over again.

For most black Americans, we never ever expected to see a black man as President in our lifetimes. We really didn't. We were excited about the prospect, but we knew the man for the job had to have a clean history. Herman Cain was not that man. Settling sexual harassment lawsuits doesn't admit guilt, but it sure as hell doesn't sweep things under the rug when you are put in the public spotlight, and running for President puts all your dirty laundry out in the spotlight, even if it is made up, like the Birther movement. Now we have Ginger White coming out discussing her "friendship" and news reporters texting Mr. Cain from her number, and him calling back within minutes to talk to his "friend". You can't do this. Now Herman Cain is fulfilling the stereotype of sex hungry black man who can't keep it in his pants, and being a magical negro to the Republican party, he simply couldn't be like the "others". You have to have a clean record as a person of color. You can't do what Newt did.

Finally his downfall has taught me slut shaming has not gone away in America. I find it odd that people who came forward with sexual harassment allegations made no real impact on his supporters or campaign. He simply called them untrue, and then made the allegation that because at least one accuser had financial issues and bad credit that they could not be trusted. Last time I checked sexual harassment had nothing to do with your credit score. I also find it odd that for some of these women they were able to settle financially from these allegations, meaning someone, somewhere thought these allegations held some kind of merit. I also find it incredibly odd that his "downfall" was caused by a consensual sexual relationship and not one where his power (physical and position wise) was used to force women into unwanted sexual relationships. America still seems to not really like women.

All in all, I'm simply surprised Herman Cain even appeared to have a shot at snagging the Republican nomination, but seriously they seem not to want Mitt Romney or John Huntsman, and the rest seem........special. So maybe they were just desperate.

I know this is shocking, but there are racists in Kentucky!!!!

2011-11-30T21:29:00.003-06:00

So I read this article over at the Huffington Post. I had to rub my eyes to make sure I was looking at the right date. It indeed said 11/30/11. It said the year 2011, not 1911. Seriously. This is post racial America? This is Christianity? People often deny that racism is alive and well. Well folks, here it is. Interracial couples in the year 2011 are not allowed to be members of a church in Kentucky. They can't participate in certain worship activities. Their church is pure, and their God I guess has an issue with two people being married and going into their church to worship. Jesus take the wheel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait to get post post racial America, that's going to be awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interracial Couple Banned From Kentucky Church
Interracial Couples

First Posted: 11/30/11 06:08 PM ET Updated: 11/30/11 06:20 PM ET
React

In a move to "promote greater unity" among its body and the Pike County community it serves, a small Kentucky church voted to ban interracial couples from membership and from participating in certain worship activities, Kentucky.com reports.

Though reminiscent of some Jim Crow-era mandate, the Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church actually made the decision earlier this month, following a visit from 24-year-old Stella Harville, daughter of the church's secretary and clerk, and her 29-year-old fiance, Ticha Chikuni, a native of Zimbabwe.

According to Harville's father, Dean Harville, Stella brought Chikuni to the church in June where they performed a song for the congregation.

Following the visit, pastor Melvin Thompson told Harville that his daughter and her fiance could not sing at the church again. Thompson later proposed that the church go on record saying that while all people were welcome to attend public worship services there, the church did not condone interracial marriage.

His proposal, which was accepted by a 9-6 vote last week, also suggested that married interracial couples be prohibited from becoming members and used in worship activities, except for funerals.

"It's not the spirit of the community in any way, shape or form," said Randy Johnson, president of the Pike County Ministerial Association, according to Kentucky.com.

While Pike County and the surrounding community come to grips with the church's decision, researchers at Ohio State University and Cornell University say black-white marriages in the United States are soaring, increasing threefold, from 3 percent in 1980 to 10.7 percent in 2008

Burberry Ad Campaign

2011-11-30T07:18:00.002-06:00

Some interesting pics from the Burberry Ad Campaign. I noticed it in this month's W Magazine.

The female model is Jourdan Dunn the brown haired model is Matthew Whitehouse. The blond model is Thomas Penfound.

Now I'm Just Scared: The Strange Thing About The Johnsons

2011-11-23T18:02:00.001-06:00

The Strange Thing About the Johnsons... speechless from Michael Roy on Vimeo.

This movie is excellent, but disturbing!!!!!

Facebook Is Serious

2011-11-23T11:56:00.003-06:00

Yes, I've had time to be on facebook, but no time to blog. I've been a bad Siditty, and I apologize. Over the last year I've been on facebook under my real name and interacting with real people I know in real life. This should be a great thing, right? NO. It isn't a great thing at all. Between my husband and I, we've lost a few real life friends and family. Maybe not lost them, but we no longer have the warm fuzzy feelings we once had. It's no secret, but I'm a liberal, atheist, interracially married and living in Texas. Most people in Texas aren't liberals, aren't atheists, and sure as hell aren't interracially married. This makes for interesting facebook interactions. I see posts about Obama trying to stop Christmas, that he is a Muslim who attended a Christian church by white man hating Reverend Wright. I see posts about it being cold so that global warming does not exist as a result. That Herman Cain is an awesome person who tells it like it is.

These types of posts are normal for people outside the internet world. Even the atheists I know in real life are libertarians who pretty much are republican and think Obama is a socialist out to destroy America. I know I should leave well enough alone, but no, I make comments, refute things by posting things from snopes, science journals, or other news sources. This is where it gets tricky and people start talking to you and about you like you're a red headed step child. This is when I go uber bitch and talk to them like their red headed step children. It just ends up ugly and causes animosity.

I guess I say all this to say, I should maybe you my blog as an outlet and maybe use their comments as inspiration as to why Obama did not kill Christmas, or discuss global warming. If I don't, we might alienate EVERYONE we know.

Our Sense of Entitlement

2011-08-19T11:53:00.003-05:00

I keep hearing over and over again how the poor, the young, anyone who isn't rich and white have a sense of entitlement and want what others work for. I get what is being said to an extent. If you get a degree and go into a company expecting be middle management the first day, that isn't going to happen. I also understand why there is this entitlement.

I've been told since a little girl that if I work and study hard, the hard work will pay off in the end. However, corporate America told me a different story. Corporate America taught me that if you work hard and go above and beyond the effort there is no guarantee of employment at all, because your job can be done quicker and cheaper by someone in another country. The hope that I could work hard and move up in the company was diminished when I was told that there was a salary cap at my job grade, that I couldn't afford to be promoted because I was "too good" at my job.

It's expected that we now need a Master's Degree to get a job that was considered entry level, such as secretary (I've actually seen job ads with this requirement). I think that wanting that level of education for a job that pays $24,000/year is a bit over the top. Maybe I'm unreasonable?

The truth of the matter is though, in my parent's generation and previous generations, this might have been true. You could work one place for thirty years and see raises and maybe even promotions if you did indeed work hard and go above and beyond. That doesn't seem to be the case any more.

We don't ever question the entitlement of upper management hiring friends and family to make huge business decisions that affect employment of the "little people". We don't fire the friends and family when those decisions go bad, we fire the "little people".

So what should be the expectations of anyone in the job force? Should the expectation be that we must learn to work for ourselves and leave corporate America alone? I'm starting to think that is the case. Between the failure of trickle down economics and bailouts, I'm not quite sure why the hell anyone of us believed working for a company was a wise idea. Corporate America doesn't care. I'm not quite sure why anyone ever thought they did.

My expectations are low. Maybe it's because right now I'm a stay at home mom who is contemplating on finishing up my master's degree, but realizing that maybe it isn't worth it, if they only thing it's going to get me is a job that pays $24,000/year with no insurance and an expectation of working 80 hours a week and being on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I'm not planning on going back to work for another three and a half years, but I'm trying to determine what my game plan will be with the "new economy" (which is a misnomer, our economy has been jacked for at least 30 years now). I'm fortunate to have the time to even make a game plan considering how things are going.

Wall Street journal Article on IR Marriage

2011-08-09T08:36:00.003-05:00

An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage
Black women could find more partners across the race line—and it might just spur more black couples to wed
By RALPH RICHARD BANKS

"At this point in my life," says Audrey, age 39, "I thought I'd be married with children." A native of southeast Washington, D.C., and the child of parents who are approaching their 50th wedding anniversary, Audrey seems like the proverbial "good catch"—smart, funny, well-educated, attractive.

Audrey earns a good living, too, with an income from management consulting that far surpasses what her parents ever made. Her social life is busy as well, filled with family, friends and church.

Only about one in 20 black women is interracially married; they are much less likely than black men to cross the race line.

What Audrey lacks is a husband. As she told me, sitting at a restaurant in the fashionable Dupont Circle neighborhood of the nation's capital, "I'm trying to get to a point where I accept that marriage may never happen for me."

Audrey belongs to the most unmarried group of people in the U.S.: black women. Nearly 70% of black women are unmarried, and the racial gap in marriage spans the socioeconomic spectrum, from the urban poor to well-off suburban professionals. Three in 10 college-educated black women haven't married by age 40; their white peers are less than half as likely to have remained unwed.

What explains this marriage gap? As a black man, my interest in the issue is more than academic. I've looked at all the studies—the history, the social science, the government data—and I've spent a year traveling the country interviewing scores of professional black women. In exchange for my promise to conceal their identities (in part by using pseudonyms, as I've done here), they shared with me their most personal experiences and desires in relation to marriage and family.

I came away convinced of two facts: Black women confront the worst relationship market of any group because of economic and cultural forces that are not of their own making; and they have needlessly worsened their situation by limiting themselves to black men. I also arrived at a startling conclusion: Black women can best promote black marriage by opening themselves to relationships with men of other races.
Related Video

The Benefits of Loyalty
Fighting the Right Way to Save Your Relationship
When Children of Divorce Grow Up

Audrey and other black women confront a social scene in which desirable black men are scarce.

Part of the problem is incarceration. More than two million men are now imprisoned in the U.S., and roughly 40% of them are African-American. At any given time, more than 10% of black men in their 20s or 30s—prime marrying ages—are in jail or prison.

Educationally, black men also lag. There are roughly 1.4 million black women now in college, compared to just 900,000 black men. By graduation, black women outnumber men 2-to-1. Among graduate-school students, in 2008 there were 125,000 African-American women but only 58,000 African-American men. That same year, black women received more than three out of every five law or medical degrees awarded to African-Americans.

These problems translate into dimmer economic prospects for black men, and the less a man earns, the less likely he is to marry. That's how the relationship market operates. Marriage is a matter of love and commitment, but it is also an exchange. A black man without a job or the likelihood of landing one cannot offer a woman enough to make that exchange worthwhile.

But poor black men are not the only ones who don't marry. At every income level, black men are less likely to marry than are their white counterparts. And the marriage gap is wider among men who earn more than $100,000 a year than among men who earn, say, $50,000 or $60,000 a year.

The dynamics of the relationship market offer one explanation for this pattern. Because black men are in short supply, their options are better than those of black women. A desirable black man who ends a relationship with one woman will find many others waiting; that's not so for black women.

If many black women remain unmarried because they think they have too few options, some black men stay single because they think they have so many. The same numbers imbalance that makes life difficult for black women may be a source of power for black men. Why cash in, they reason, when it is so easy to continue to play?

Black women who do marry often end up with black men who are less accomplished than they are. They are more likely than any other group of women to earn more than their husbands. More than half of college-educated black wives are better educated than their husbands.

The prevalence of relationships between professional black women and blue-collar black men may help to explain another aspect of the racial gap in marriage: Even as divorce rates have declined for most groups during the past few decades, more than half of black marriages dissolve.

Cecelia, a corporate lawyer who graduated from Columbia Law School, married a construction worker. When he relocated from Denver to her brownstone in Harlem, it took him the better part of a year to find work. "It was a huge strain on the relationship," Cecelia told me. She didn't mind his being out of work, but he did. "He was uncomfortable living off me," Cecelia said. The marriage didn't last.

So why don't more black women, especially the most accomplished of them, marry men of other races? Why do they marry down so much and out so little?
[TOC6] Getty Images

Black women are the most unmarried group in America.

Black women lead by far the most segregated intimate lives of any minority group in the U.S. They are less than half as likely as black men to wed across racial lines. Only about 1 in 20 black women are interracially married.

Part of the reason, again, is the market. Numerous studies of Internet dating confirm that black women are the partners least desired by non-black men.

But that's not the whole story. Even if a majority of white men are uninterested in dating black women, that still leaves more than enough eligible white men for every single black woman in America. Moreover, many major urban areas have large numbers of Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern and Latino men, some of whom, according to at least one study of Internet dating, are more responsive to black women than are black men.

To understand the intimate segregation of black women, we must go beyond the question of whether black women are wanted and look instead at what they want. For some black women, the personal choice of an intimate partner is political. They want to help black men, not abandon them. As one woman told me, "If you know your history, how can you not support black men?"

Others prefer black men because they don't think a relationship with a non-black man would work. They worry about rejection by a would-be spouse's family or the awkwardness of having to explain oneself to a non-black partner.

As one 31-year-old schoolteacher in D.C. told me, "It's easy to date a black man because he knows about my hair. He knows I don't wash it every day. He knows I'm going to put the scarf on [to keep it in place at night]." Discussions about hair may seem trivial, but for many black women, just the thought of having the "hair talk" makes them tired. It's emblematic of so much else they'd have to teach.

Some black women resist interracial marriage for a more primal reason. Long before Cecelia began her ill-fated relationship with her now ex-husband, she dated a white law-school classmate. They broke up because she couldn't imagine having children with him. "I wanted chocolate babies," she explained to me.

Given her milk-chocolate complexion, green eyes and curly hair, Cecelia worried that a biracial baby might come out looking white. Cecelia wanted chocolate babies not just so they would stay connected to black culture, but for another reason as well: So that no one would ever question whether they were hers. With biracial children, she feared that she might be mistaken for the nanny. Many black women share her anxiety about having a biracial child.

What would happen if more black women opened themselves to the possibility of marrying non-black men?

To start, they might find themselves in better relationships. Some professional black women would no doubt discover that they are more compatible with a white, Asian or Latino coworker or college classmate than with the black guy they grew up with, who now works at the auto shop.

By opening themselves to relationships with men of other races, black women would also lessen the power disparity that depresses the African-American marriage rate. As more black women expanded their options, black women as a group would have more leverage with black men. Even black women who remained unwilling to love across the color line would benefit from other black women's willingness to do so.

It's hard to resist the paradoxical possibility that, if more black women married non-black men, then more black men and women might, in time, marry each other.

—Mr. Banks is the Jackson Eli Reynolds Professor of Law at Stanford Law School. Adapted from "Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone" by Ralph Richard Banks, to be published by Dutton on Sept. 1.

Dark Girls

2011-05-30T12:14:00.004-05:00

This is a documentary that is coming out later this year, exploring colorism and racism. I'm kind of interested. I find it odd though, that some of those women identify as dark skinned, when to me they might fall into the medium complected category. Maybe they grew up like me, and had people who had never really been around dark people, tell them they were dark or they were the color they were because they were "dirty"?

I remember growing up and my mother calling me "black as smut" when I darkened from playing in the sun all day. I didn't grow up thinking that was a bad thing, but I guess if my appearance warranted comments, it must have been a concern or somewhat noteworthy to my mom. I also knew folks who used Ambi and other bleaching creams on their face to lighten up their complexion.

No matter what the reasoning for people using bleaching cream or my mother calling me "black as smut", I will say I think colorism is a big thing in the black community and that many times it is disregarded by the black community, much like racism is dismissed by many in the white community. How do we expose colorism without offending lighter skinned blacks? How do we address the issues of self hatred in the community, when it isn't even acknowledged?

I won't even address the natural hair and black men response to dark skinned women issues addressed. I've addressed that many times before.

Dishing Money Out To Black People

2011-05-26T13:08:00.003-05:00

I'm amazed that there are people in this world under the impression that the government just hands out money to black people. In matter of fact I just talked to a man today who told me that the Democratic party won the black vote by "dishing out money to them". I want to know what money? Where the hell is my money? He was talking about welfare and other public assistance. I've never been on welfare or public assistance. I also want to note that welfare and public assistance isn't limited to black people. I've seen some white folks on it, as well as hispanic, and yes even Asians.

Why is it that welfare and public assistance is associated with black people? I kind of want to blame black people. Not all black people, but people like Jon Singleton, members of N.W.A., and the guys who did "Poetic Justice" and "Menace II Society". I know that this was supposedly to expose the gritty reality of gangsta life and living in "da hood", but not all black folks are living like this. I think Ice T's name is Tracy. Tracy!?!?!? How hard can you be with a name like Tracy. Ice Cube's name is O'Shea. O'Shea!!! How is that gangsta. That name sounds like someone who speaks in Limericks and drinks a lot of Guinness, not gang bang.

Damn you Roc, Damn you. Y'all know you remember Roc.

But then I blame mainstream America for running with it. Never do we see American History X and assume all white people are skinheads who viciously assault black people. Or do we think that all white people are inbred people capable of man rape and wanting folks to squeal like pigs because of Deliverance.

How do we stop the foolishness. This to me is the reason we can't have an honest dialogue on race, because when people come up with this nonsense and run with it, we can't get past the stupidity to get to the meat of the argument.

You Miss Me?

2011-05-07T08:42:00.002-05:00

Probably not :) However the last year or so has been really freaking busy. Children are no joke. I have a newfound respect for parents, especially stay at home moms. Just because you stay at home, it does not mean you are sitting on your ass watching TV all day. I do miss blogging, but I just don't seem to have the passion anymore and there was lots of opportunity to blog about stuff since I've been away. Donald Trump. Shirley Sherrod. The Tea Party in general. Lots of stuff.

I think I'm going to try to jump back in the waters. Albeit slow. I have found facebook is way to dangerous of a place to rant, especially since I do it with people I know in real life. I don't think people know how angry and black I am :)

OK my realizations since my last postings here:

Children make everything take twice as long. It takes twice as long to get dressed. Twice as long to eat. Twice as long to get in and out of a car.
Sometimes kids don't want to eat applesauce or bananas, but they do want to eat some stank old animal cracker found underneath the deep, dark, underbelly of a couch
Playdates are great for social interaction for the baby, but for the mom it makes no sense to be surrounded by other women and to befriend them simply because their kids are around the same age. Some moms are AWESOME. Others I want to give the stank eye to.
My boobs no longer belong to me.
Babywearing saved my life.
My life no longer is solely mine. There are days I want to drink a bottle of wine, but I don't because I have other stuff to worry about.
I'm even more of a evil godless liberal than I thought
I'm still angry and black, but I'm tired because people just seem to be stupid, and you can't fix stupid.
I still need to blog on occasion and I really need to get back into the swing of things outside of Rabbit Land. Blogging would be one thing that was part of my life before the baby.

So I guess I'm saying. I'm trying to make a comeback on this blog. Wish me luck.

Vows: Felicia and Chris - nytimes.com/video

2011-03-11T16:40:00.001-06:00

This is my life now :)

2010-07-29T17:12:00.001-05:00

Have we started going backwards? Do we lack basic humanity for others?

2010-07-21T14:46:00.006-05:00

Yeah, I'm supposed to be on hiatus, but I want folks to look at this video. See what some of us have become.

Let's start with the fact that these women fighting seem to be missing parts of their clothing. Some are missing pants. Some are missing tops.

These are grown people fighting. Not kids, grown ups.

One of these "grown ups" is pregnant. She is fighting. A grown pregnant woman is fighting folks. Does she not know a kick to the stomach could lead to harming her child or worse?

What is the most pathetic thing about this video is the fact that there are men hitting women. A man and two women decide to jump a pregnant woman.

There are men referring to women as bitches. The cameraman is telling folks to "beat that bitch". The "bitch" in question is a PREGNANT LADY.

The worst part of all: Not one person is trying to diffuse the situation. No one thought to try to stop this mess? Someone else tries to jump in on the action, but no one tries to stop the fight. I understand you don't want to get involved, why not call the police? Alert the manager of the Burger King? Why the hell are we allowing this mess to go on in the year 2010?

I'm on Break

2010-07-15T09:35:00.002-05:00

Hey you guys,

You may have noticed that I don't post often and when I do, it isn't like my old posts. It's because this baby is HIGH MAINTENANCE. As a result, the blog is going on hiatus for a while. I'll be back, I think, but right now I have baby brain, and so I'm really boring, and can't be my usual angry self.

Dear Mel Gibson

2010-07-03T18:27:00.002-05:00

Dear Mel Gibson,

Please, just shut up. Seriously are you so race obsessed you are thinking about black men raping your now ex-girlfriend? I understand you don't like what your girlfriend was wearing, but honestly was she really going to get raped by a "pack of n*&#^@@"?

Mel I thought you would know this, having done Lethal Weapon with Danny Glover, but honestly, are black men like animals traveling in packs like wild animals in heat waiting to prey upon scantily clad Russian women? I assumed Danny Glover did not bring a "pack" of black men to the sets of all the Lethal Weapons and rape anyone, did he? I mean he played a mean "Mister" in "The Color Purple", but I thought he was just acting. Maybe he's a rapist.

I also assumed you would know better about using racial slurs. Remember that whole "Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world" thing and how everyone got mad at you? Now you are walking around using the n-word? Oh Mel.

Let's also discuss your need to refer to your baby mamma as a "b*#*%", a "wh*re", and a "f*&#(@(# pig in heat". I mean honestly Mel you made "Passion of the Christ". Would Jesus want you to be a misogynist? I mean Jesus didn't go around calling Mary Magdalene such names did he?

Do you really want to be labeled a racist and a sexist Mel?

Anyway, I hope you again have learned your lesson, but I know in reality you haven't, so I'm going to go ahead and let you go.

Sincerely,

Siditty

A 7 Year Old Came On To Him?

2010-06-23T00:18:00.006-05:00

In Baltimore there are two unrelated cases of little girls contracting gonorrhea. One is aged 7, the other 18 months. The 7 year old contracted from her mother's live in boyfriend. He said the girl came on to him, rubbing against him. Now, if a 7 year old "comes on to you", do you go ahead and sex her up or do you go tell her mother and go get help for her, as that is usually a sign something isn't right?

Seriously are women so devalued in our culture, in particular black culture, that even little girls are nothing but objects to appease men?

Women do we not value ourselves and our children enough to protect them? Damn.

I don't know what is going on in Baltimore, but something is terribly wrong.

Why Is YOUR Grandmother doing this?

2010-06-20T10:50:00.003-05:00

Why is YOUR grandma doing this? I mean isn't she a little old to be hooking? Isn't she a bit old to try the hip hop game? Why did she get YOUR cousin to help out with this? I mean YOUR cousin should know better, right?

Seriously how old is this woman? Shouldn't she be on medicare and social security. She appears to be old enough to qualify. She shouldn't have to turn tricks to make money at her age.

Africa A SIngle Story

2010-06-17T22:04:00.004-05:00

I loved this. It gives me a much different perspective. It's true, we have grown up to believe Africa is one huge country, one huge monolith of poverty,jungles, war, animals, and AIDS. Why do you think that people in the Western world, in particular the US have such a view of Africa, is it the fault of the news, or National Geographic?

Why is it when we think of countries with brown people or people of color we think such negative thoughts? Is it a result of colonialism, the very thing that many point to causing the abject poverty we are exposed to?

How do we combat "single stories" in our media so that we can get more balance and perspective?

Tom Foolery

2010-06-10T18:26:00.001-05:00

I See Black People

2010-06-04T22:01:00.004-05:00

Arizona, you're proud of your racist reputation and plan to hold on to it as long as you can. A elementary school decided to paint a mural on their wall and used some of the students at the school as actual models. The mural depicts children using "green" transportation. Apparently this offended people. In particular Steve Blair, a city councilman.

"I am not a racist individual, but I will tell you depicting a black guy in the middle of that mural, based upon who's president of the United States today and based upon the history of this community when I grew up, we had four black families - who I have been very good friends with for years - to depict the biggest picture on that building as a black person, I would have to ask the question, 'Why?'"

Why not? Well here is the answers that Steve Blair, the man who came up with the question gave:

"I'm not a racist by any stretch of the imagination, but whenever people start talking about diversity, it's a word I can't stand."

"The focus doesn't need to be on what's different; the focus doesn't need to be on the minority all the time."

"What these people don't like is somebody forcing diversity down their throats."

I didn't know pictures of minorities was "forcing diversity" down people's throats.

Why does Blair think of Obama when he sees a little brown face in a painting?

The worst part is the kid in question was modeled after a hispanic boy, not a black one. So really, do brown and black faces offend people now?

My Grandfather and Health Camp

2010-06-03T11:48:00.004-05:00

This past weekend, the man I knew as my Grandaddy passed away. He was 92. It was kind of sudden, and I'm sad for many reasons, but I am grateful to have so many wonderful memories with him. As a kid he would take me places, like the park, to the neighborhood store, etc., but my one favorite place to go to him was a place called Health Camp. It's a restaurant and there is nothing healthy on the menu, but as a kid I felt they had the best milkshakes in the world and my grandfather would take me there every time I asked, excluding the times my mother would stop him for fear of my inevitable sugar rush I would get each time I went there. I've just now realized that Health Camp has been around since 1949. In Waco, TX. In 1949, Waco, TX for the most part was segregated. So that means I had my grandfather take me to a place he wasn't even allowed to go into until the late 1960s. Kind of crazy.

I often wonder how black folks who suffered segregation felt about going into establishments that were essentially forced to accept them. Did they enjoy it and treat it as a sweet revenge, or did they go in fear, thinking the whole concept of desegregation was a trick? My grandfather never mentioned it.

I often forget with the current racism in this world, that people dealt with a lot worse.

RIP Gary Coleman

2010-05-28T21:09:00.003-05:00

For those not aware, Gary Coleman has died. In his memory I will link you to my Diff'rent Strokes post.

Lift Every Voice and Sing

2010-05-26T16:18:00.001-05:00

This is known as the black National Anthem. This song was written to take part in a ceremony celebrating Abraham Lincoln's birthday back in 1900. It was written so that black people could show their patriotism for America and hope for the future. I guess back then to some the only "true patriots" were white people.

If someone were to sing this song today, how would it be taken. Oh wait, someone has, and as per usual they were seen as a hater of America and unpatriotic, obviously from people who don't know the history of the song.

This is why people should learn ALL the history of America, but to some learning all the history of America is a bad thing.

AAAAWwwwwwwww

2010-05-24T22:18:00.001-05:00

Texas' State Board of Education

2010-05-23T10:50:00.005-05:00

The Texas State Board of Education is now going to teach kids about slavery. Oops I mean the concept of indentured servants with lifetime contracts:

I'd like to think I'm joking, but eventually this could very well be the case.

Our SBOE passed some new social studies standards to ensure we don't have a "liberal" slant on history. Yeah really.

Some of the changes include:

• Analyze Abraham Lincoln’s ideas about liberty, equality, union and government as contained in his first and second inaugural addresses and the Gettysburg Address and contrast them with the ideas contained in Jefferson Davis’s inaugural address. (8th grade U.S. History);
• Examine the reasons the Founding Fathers protected religious freedom in America and guaranteed its free exercise by saying that Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, and compare and contrast this to the phrase “separation of church and state.” (Government);
• Explain instances of institutional racism in American society. (Sociology);
• Discuss the solvency of long term entitlements such as Social Security and Medicare. (U.S. History since 1877).

That's from the Texas Education Agency.

I find it odd we are making a comparison between Jefferson Davis and Abraham Lincoln. Especially since in one speech slavery is mentioned and in the other it isn't. Especially since one was a U.S. President and one was the President of the now defunct Confederacy, which in my personal opinion is a bunch of folks who were traitors to the United States. They wanted to leave the county to uphold their slave based economy. You can pretend all you want the Civil War wasn't about slavery. It was about maintaining a economy based upon free labor. Slaves. Without the slaves, they would have had to pay folks and their economy would not have been as prosperous. I know they gave them free room and board, but let's get real the accommodations weren't all that great and the work conditions were a bit harsh. You know beatings, lynchings, and rape were real possibilities in the slave line of work.

The Founding Fathers did want to protect religious freedom, that's the truth, but this really isn't a Christian nation and the government's concept of separation of Church and State is not a bad thing. America has no official religion. We don't have one because as it is stated:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof"

It isn't for our government to make decisions on religion, Christian or otherwise.

In explaining institutionalized racism, we really shouldn't sugar coat slavery. America had a slave trade. Calling it the "Atlantic Triangular Trade" dismisses slavery all together. I'm curious what the unintended consequences of Affirmative Action are as well.

In terms of the solvency of "entitlements" like Social Security and Medicare, we should also discuss the solvency of wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Rabbit will be going to private school, that was already established before this mess, but these actions confirm our decision.

Watering down the wrongs of America, rewriting history, and putting in far right ideals to counterbalance what is perceived to be leftist ideology does nothing to educate our kids. All that is being done is indoctrinating them into a political ideal. Political indoctrination has no place in our schools.

We're Bringing Back Jim Crow Thanks to Rand Paul

2010-05-21T16:03:00.008-05:00

We got a black President. One step forward. Rand Paul disagrees with the Public Accommodation clause of the Civil Rights Act and wins Kentucky's republican primary for senator. Ten steps back.

The Public Accommodation clause is the clause that most people should be familiar with. You've seen the pictures of black folks at the lunch counters of whites only businesses.

Like this:

He feels that private businesses should be able to openly discriminate against any and every one. Now this comes as no surprise to me that this man would have his views, his father Ron Paul shares his views. I still don't know why black folks were excited about this racist, conspiracy theorist whack job. We won't talk about his former spokesperson, Christopher Hightower. We know he isn't racist, right?

Now the libertarian, tea party, and republican theory on racism is that racism would have gone away on it's own. Slavery would have eventually ended, so would have Jim Crow, if the evil government hadn't forced it down our throats. I don't buy it. Laissez faire capitalism would not have fixed any of these things. Not because people are just inherently racist. It's because people will choose convenience over ethics.

For instance, the town I live in is 2% African American. Yeah, I really need to move. We plan to before Rabbit goes to school. If a business decides to exclude black people, the lack of black business in my town wouldn't squash a business, but would I believe that the majority of white people would go out of their way to drive further to another business that offers the same service? Not likely, it isn't convenient, and denying blacks doesn't impact them in any way.

Another reason I don't believe this will happen, is case and point in my town, we're pretty segregated. This town is overwhelmingly white. There is no black side of town, because there aren't enough black people to have one. I know my town isn't some anomaly, but I would venture to say, most places are self imposed segregated. So if you are a minority in a particular place, and businesses decide to discriminate against a minority, it wouldn't matter to them, and you will be left driving further and being inconvenienced simply because your skin tone isn't pleasing to a business owner.

So yes, the free market although wonderful will not end racism.

Rand Paul will probably win thanks to the Tea Party support he received, and then we can decide if business owners can have the right to bring back slavery.

If Dale Peterson Was Black

2010-05-19T16:15:00.005-05:00

This is an ad campaign for Dale Peterson. He's running for Agriculture Commissioner of Alabama. Now I won't get into why this man sounds like a nut job.

I will however ponder this: If a black man was running for a public office using gun imagery and speaking using "black dialect" aka "ebonics" while calling people dummy, do you think he would be seen as patriotic and a viable, realistic candidate for any political position? Or would he be labeled a thug who lacks class and is too lowly to hold any position of power? Why is it that when it comes to certain stereotypes, some are ok, while others are not?

We can pretend we are in the wild, wild west, ready to shoot folks in the face and talk like a hillbilly and find that acceptable? Obviously to some people, yes.

I think this is why the rest of the world is scared of Americans.

R.I.P. Aiyana Jones

2010-05-16T18:44:00.004-05:00

In Detroit a 7 year old girl was shot by a police officer in a raid looking for a murder suspect. The police conducted a no knock search warrant and entered the home with a flash grenade. Per the police there was a 46 year old woman in the living area (the victim's grandmother) who apparently got into a physical altercation with the officer. While this raid was going on, there was another raid in another residence in the home (apparently it was a home made into apartments, something the CNN story and other mainstream media outlets left out). They claim they arrested the said suspect, but they won't tell us which unit he was actually in.

I sincerely hope this isn't a case of the police abusing their power.

Do you think there will be national outrage about this case, or will it continue to be an issue where we prove America doesn't like or care about black people?

"Black News"

2010-05-13T08:16:00.002-05:00

Now I was actually going to put forth some effort and work on my blog today, but I couldn't come up with any topics. I'm kind of out of the loop when it comes to anything right now because I've been focusing on Rabbit. She's doing great by the way. She's a whole three months old!!!!! OK I'm sorry, I had to get the proud mommy moment out of the way, as per usual, I digress.

So I started searching news sites. I'm learning more and more we aren't getting news we are getting "infotainment". That is across the board on most news sites, it seems. It seems more so on "Black News" sites. I use this term loosely, there aren't that many, and if you do a Google search, you will find some really racist stuff meant to be "black news" and white people taking those sites seriously are legitimate information on the "black community".

I go to "Black Voices" first and to their news section. Why is the big story about Taimak from "The Last Dragon".I loved Taimak back in the day, the movie was great, but honestly is he news? Underneath him a smaller story about a black woman who is missing is featured. Now that is nice, but couldn't that be the focus considering maybe someone has seen her, and you know the mainstream media doesn't give a damn. We also have a story on Lil Wayne. Because we all need to care about what is going on in his life.

Anyway Mitrice Richardson is missing. Please go here for more information.

What's Wrong With Being A Conservative?

2010-05-04T09:52:00.005-05:00

What's Wrong With Being A Conservative? Not a damn thing. You can be conservative all you want. I'm ok with it. I think you have a jacked up ideology and contradict yourselves, but that is just me. I'm just freaked out by conservatives due to your history and current antics.

You guys seem not to like black people too much. RIchard Nixon's campaign southern strategy to capture the disgruntled white Southerners mad about desegregation and being forced to integrate starts my intense dislike for the conservatives who feign they haven't used race based fear tactics to capture the white vote. Your messiah Reagan had this thing about "welfare queens", even though his story was debunked, you guys ran with it, and still do. We also can't forget about his reluctance to give Martin Luther King a holiday because like Obama he was a "Communist". We can't forget the lack of outrage for anything that Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh say about race. They are determined that Obama hates white people and is trying to implement reparations that only innocent white people will pay for. Pat Buchanan told the truth about the republican party. They don't want or feel they need the minority vote. He can downplay slavery telling us negroes to become excited that slavery made us Americans. He's taking a glass is half full approach to slavery, downplaying it as something positive, instead of what it really was, which is horrific. Of course to him and conservatives, white people built this country while us minorities just sat on our asses doing nothing. Now those same white people are losing "their" country.

When you sit silent on people like this, tout them as examples of your beliefs, I have no compassion for you, I don't like you, it makes me think you have no humanity, and you seem to want to rewrite history. Let's not go there with the Tea Parties, and their deafening silence they had with the racist signs that permeated their rallies until they were forced to address the issue, and then walk around like they are innocent victims being persecuted. Silence equals acceptance. We assume you all feel that way, when you sit their quietly with the racist bullshit all around you.

I don't think the Democrats give a rat's ass about me either, I'm not that stupid. The Democrats just at least pretend to like me and don't vocally outright hate me, and that's a plus in my book, as sad as that might sound. Act like you give a damn about black people, and quit pretending white people are the only people who pay taxes, while everyone else is sucking on your teet. I pay taxes and I'm paying for that white single mother on welfare, as well as that black single mother who is doing the same.

If you're a conservative, great, but your politics don't seem to give a damn about me, so I don't give a damn about your politics.

Arizona Welcomes In A New Era of Race Relations By Making Racial Profiling Legal

2010-04-30T11:32:00.002-05:00

I knew Arizona was "special", now I know they are extra crispy "special". In an effort to curb illegal immigration, they have decided to racially profile those who make "look illegal". I have figured out they are not going to target European immigrants. Their target will be those of the brown skin persuasion. So if you are a Mexican American, you need to be scared. You need to be very scared. Now you can enjoy being followed by the police waiting for you to violate some law so they can pull you over because they know you're an up to no good "illegal". You can now make sure to carry a birth certificate, passport, and other forms of ID to appease these people so eager to try to deport you. It's a bit scary the lengths people are going to in order to make sure we slow down the growth of the minority population in America.

What is this Tom Foolery? Dick Slang-NSFW

2010-04-30T08:24:00.001-05:00

There are no words for this. Don't watch this at work.

Kiely Williams - Spectacular: Is This Song About Date Rape? Video NSFW

2010-04-29T07:34:00.005-05:00

When you start off the song with the words "Last night I was drunk. I don't remember much.", you've already lost.

I know you are trying to shed your young, teen girl role model image, but really?

These are the killer lyrics right here:

"Last I remember I was face down
Ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off
Even though I'm not sure of his name
He could get it again if he wanted
Cause the sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular (yeaaah)
The sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular"

This sounds like she was date raped and enjoyed it. You don't remember much because you were drunk. You dozed off and found yourself ass up and clothes off? That sounds like he slipped you a roofie. Don't be excited about the sex, that sex was chemically enhanced. Plus now you need to go to the clinic to get tested for STDs. You don't even know his name!!!!!!!

"So it was the morning after
I couldn't get home faster
Doing the walk of shame
In the same clothes from yesterday
I think he pulled a track out
When he was blowing my back out
What was I drinking
I cant believe I blacked out"

OK so you acknowledge it was wrong to have a one night stand with a man you don't know. One step forward. I'm sorry while during the date rape sex he pulled a track out, but honestly you need to go to the police, you blacked out and he sexed you up. DATE RAPE. That's like twenty steps back.

"I must have been on drugs
I hope he used a rubber
Or I'mma be in trouble"

I hope he used a rubber too. I hope you consider rehab after you go get tested and go to the police for the date rape. Drinking to the point of blacking out and waking up next to people you don't know is not a good thing.

But seriously, these lyrics sound like this child was date raped.

Tim Wise: Imagine: Protest, Insurgency and the Workings of White Privilege

2010-04-23T14:50:00.003-05:00

Imagine: Protest, Insurgency and the Workings of White Privilege
By Tim Wise
April 20, 2010

Let’s play a game, shall we? The name of the game is called “Imagine.” The way it’s played is simple: we’ll envision recent happenings in the news, but then change them up a bit. Instead of envisioning white people as the main actors in the scenes we’ll conjure—the ones who are driving the action—we’ll envision black folks or other people of color instead. The object of the game is to imagine the public reaction to the events or incidents, if the main actors were of color, rather than white. Whoever gains the most insight into the workings of race in America, at the end of the game, wins.

So let’s begin.

Tim nails down the Tea Party movement and it's hypocrisy to a tea. Imagine if black people were gathered calling for a revolution, waving signs, and carrying guns. No doubt they would be labeled a hate group intent on destroying America. In the Tea Party though, it seems to be the opposite, they aren't a hate group, they aren't terrorists, instead they are viewed as the patriots for standing for injustice.

When black people stand up for injustice and protest peacefully, we get this:

Now imagine the civil rights movement if there were guns.

Good Evening-Outasight

2010-04-15T20:54:00.001-05:00

Good Evening

Outasight | MySpace Music Videos

Not Surprised

2010-04-14T17:33:00.004-05:00

I've lived in Paris, TX. I've shared other issues that exist in Paris, TX. Shaquanda Cotton. Brandon McClelland. I'm curious why he company is in such denial about their treatment of their employees. Now they look like they are incompetent and unaware of what happens in their own work spaces. Why deny it. Why not be proactive and implement diversity training, add some new rules to the handbook for zero tolerance, to at least pretend you give a damn. People want to pretend racism is over. It's far from over. This is proof. It isn't something made up in people's heads.

Feds slam Texas factory over discrimination claims
By the CNN Wire Staff
April 14, 2010 5:47 p.m. EDT

At a news conference Wednesday, current and former Turner Industries workers showed examples of harassment.

Dallas, Texas (CNN) -- African-American workers at a Texas pipe factory endured a string of racial slurs and harassment and were targeted by their managers when they complained, federal investigators have determined.
Black employees at the Turner Industries plant in Paris, Texas, regularly "were subjected to unwelcome racial slurs, comments and intimidation, racial graffiti, nooses in the workplace and other symbols of discrimination," the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission reported.

Black workers also were denied promotions and disciplined more harshly than whites, the agency concluded in a three-page letter in late March. Managers at the plant not only were aware of a "hostile environment," they also targeted workers who complained and disciplined white employees who opposed the harassment, the EEOC found.

The EEOC has called on Turner Industries, based in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, to join talks aimed at producing a "just resolution" to the problems. The company said its plant "is free from any form of discrimination, retaliation, or any other workplace conduct that violates the law."

"We are disappointed that the EEOC has issued this determination and strongly disagree with the EEOC's findings," Michael Phelps, Turner Industries' vice president for human resources, said in a written statement.

Lawyers for the seven Turner employees who went to the EEOC displayed photographs of the slurs, of hanging nooses and threatening notes left for employees at the Paris plant during a news conference Wednesday. One of those employees, Dontrail Mathis, told reporters that he was frequently called racially inflammatory names and that most African-American employees were relegated to the paint shop.

Mathis, a painter's helper, said one co-worker who found out he was married to a white woman told him, "In the Bible, it says that white women shouldn't mix with monkeys." When he called Turner's corporate office to complain about that incident, he heard nothing back, Mathis said.

"I tried to back away from it. It kept going and going and coming and coming," he said.

Jason Milligan, a former night foreman at the plant, said his bosses "more or less wanted me to do their dirty work."

"I watched certain people more than I did the others, to see if I could get anything on them that could be used against them," he said. But he said he was fired after he refused to sign an affidavit accusing a Turner employee of theft -- a man he believed had been "set up."

"I'm not going to lie for anyone," Milligan said. "He was a man just like me. He has a family to take care of. I'm not going to do it. And from then on, that was my down-slide."

Milligan worked at the plant for nine months before he was fired. Company officials told him he was sacked for failing a drug test, he said. But a lawyer for the employees, Jay Ellwanger, said Milligan warned testers that he was taking a diet medication that could show up as a stimulant.

Milligan said managers were told to document and clean off any racist graffiti immediately, but he said one such case he handled in his nine months at the plant was "swept under the rug" when the person behind it turned out to be a relative of another manager.

In the year since workers in the Paris plant went to the EEOC, similar complaints have emerged at other Turner factories in Texas, Ellwanger said.

Paris is about 110 miles northeast of Dallas. The Rev. Peter Johnson, a state civil rights leader, said the problems reported at the Turner plant reflect a "culture of discrimination" that lingers in East Texas.

"East Texas is Mississippi 50 years ago. This case will begin to help us unravel the history of discrimination and bigotry throughout East Texas," he said.

CNN's Tracy Sabo and Ed Lavandera contributed to this report.

Kids Today

2010-04-11T17:22:00.005-05:00

First off, I'm not going to discuss his sexual identity because:

He's a child and may not be fully aware of is sexual identity and it's not my place to discuss.
He might just have done this video as a joke
I have no problem with his sexual identity be it straight, gay, bi, etc.

Now with that disclaimer out of the way:

I will however discuss the lack of supervision. Why does this child have unsupervised access to the internet? What parent would allow a child to gyrate all sexually on video and let them release said video? This kid is basically being put on a platter for some pedophile.

I will discuss why he is listening to this song with it's suggestive lyrics? Why is that appropriate? Does he even know what "get it up" means? Or what is meant by "giddy up" entails in reference to this song? Does he know anything about being "turning your body out"?

Who taught the boy how to dance like this? Honestly he must have put in some practice for this?

So where are his parents? Am I being a prude in thinking this song may not be appropriate for all ages? Do you wonder where he learned to dance sexually suggestive like that? How do parents prevent their kids from listening to songs like this, and prevent their kids from posting such things to the internet?

On a lighter note:

What is with the Mickey Mouse bobble head?

Why has no one cleaned the house?

Kat Stacks

2010-04-07T10:59:00.003-05:00

In my last post, I blogged about Erykah's Badu video, "Window Seat", in which Badu gets nude in downtown Dallas. I talked a little bit about exploitation and sexuality. On the same day I made that post, I found out about, Kat Stacks. I guess Kat Stacks is the new Karrine Steffans-McCrary aka "Superhead". Kat Stacks discusses her exploits with various entertainers, such as Lil Wayne and the whole entire Young Money crew, Aaron Carter, Bow Wow, Nelly, and apparently many more. She discusses how broke the Young Money crew was, excluding Lil Wayne.

She is planning to publish a book about her exploits. A great career or at least money making move. I don't know how long one can sleep with entertainers for money or notoriety, but doing the book thing is smart. On the other hand, essentially admitting to being a prostitute isn't a very good idea. Neither is sleeping with various men who live in the same apartment, or simply because their famous. I would hope she practiced safe sex.

It seems as if there is a certain mentality needed to be the kind of person like Kat Stacks. I wonder if her father was involved in her life. I wonder if she is a label whore. Maybe like Val said a very posts back in the comment section, maybe sleeping with these men give her a chance at status and prominence she wouldn't get otherwise? When you get older and have kids, how do you explain your behavior to them? Or what if your mom or dad finds out? I find it sad that in this day and age, a woman chooses to essentially prostitute herself.

Erykah Badu Controversy

2010-04-04T09:42:00.008-05:00

So I know you guys have all heard about Erykah Badu's new video, "Window Seat". I'm not able to embed the video, but I will link to it here. I will however embed the video that inspired the "Window Seat" video by Matt and Kim. To give a summary for those not able to see the video, Badu basically parks a car that looks as if it is a Cadillac from the 1960s, gets out, and walks while taking off her clothing piece by piece in the Dealey Plaza area of Dallas. Dealey Plaza is the area where JFK was shot. At the end of the video, she falls to the ground as if she is assassinated, and blue "blood" spills on the ground that says "groupthink". Then she says this:

They play it safe are quick to assasinate what they do not understand
They move in packs ingesting more and more fear on every act of hate on one another
They feel most comfortable in groups, less guilt to swallow
They are us
This is what we have become
Afraid to respect the individual
A single person event or circumstance can move one to change to love herself to evolve

The song itself doesn't seem to follow in the same tone of the video. Just looking at the lyrics alone, it seems she is talking about a relationship in the song. However, with the video, the song takes on a whole new meaning about finding or trying to fit in or be accepted and then deciding not to fit in and do your own thing.

Now I personally liked the song, it's not my favorite Erykah Badu song, but it works. I think the song is nice, and I'm a fan of Erykah. I really am. I'm not offended by the video, but others are. People are upset that children were present in the video. It didn't appear that the one child in the video saw her completely naked. She saw her in a bra and pants. I can understand wanting to protect your children and controlling what they see, but I don't think the human body is something in and of itself a bad thing. I don't see her exploiting and sexualizing herself. She wasn't gyrating and I think it was a her showing she wanted to do her own thing and not fit in. Also to shock and get some buzz on her new album and single. It seems to have worked in that aspect.

Label and Celebrity Obsession

2010-03-31T08:34:00.003-05:00

I was having a phone conversation with a friend the other day, in which we talked about what I call "label whores". The people who can't pay rent, but is wearing the latest and greatest name brands and labels. The ones who scour magazines and try to replicate looks of celebrities. My friend, who is black like me made a statement that I'm having an inner conflict with: Black people seem label and celebrity obsessed.

You know I can definitely say other races of people are the same way, and I can say it with confidence. But I understand where she is coming from with her statement. I think celebrity obsession would explain why Hollywood uses the same five black actors for everything, even in movies and shows geared towards "black people". I will give Tyler Perry kudos for the fact, he hires a lot of black actors, and not all of them well known names. From what I understand, his shows on TBS use actors from his plays. That's pretty awesome. More black people acting can't be a bad thing right? Their not shucking and jiving I hope. One can hope, but then I think about Madea.

I also have known many a broke black woman with $300 shoes, a $500 purse, and not a damn thing in their savings account. I've met black men who felt it was important to know what kind of car they drive, or what kind of clothes they like. Don't get me wrong, I've met white folks like this to, but it seems a bit more important for the black folks I've met to share such information with me. Again, don't get me wrong, I've known white people to forgo an electric bill so they can take a trip to Cancun.

If this stereotype or assumption is true, do you think it comes from black media, in particular hip hop, where people love to shout out the names of what they wear, drive, or drink? It seems most other genres of music try to avoid such things. Of course if I was shouting out the names of labels and products, I would make sure I was getting paid to do such things. For the right amount of money, I would give a shout out to Kmart or Wal Mart in a song. I have no shame.

So do you think that blacks are more label and celebrity conscious than other races of people? If so, why?

Emails

2010-03-31T08:27:00.001-05:00

This morning, I received a bunch of "failed delivery" emails, indicating that my email address is being used for spam. If you get an email from me with just a link in it, don't click it, I didn't send it. ::sigh::

How I'm Privileged

2010-03-22T14:51:00.000-05:00

I just did a post on black male privilege. I also recently read this post and found it interesting. It was mentioned how many times those who are privileged fail to acknowledge their privilege. So I thought for once, I would acknowledge some of my privileges, at least some of the ones I know about.

As a black woman, I'm privileged in relation to black men due to my gender. As a black woman, I am less threatening to other races of people, since women are viewed as weaker or more docile than men.

As a person who has a degree, I have education privilege. Having two college educated parents, I was taught the importance of education at an early age. My parents knew how to navigate the education system. The importance of good grades and being involved in activities in high school. When to start applying to schools. How to determine my major. I had access to my parents knowledge of education, and I have benefitted from that education. In jobs I made more money than someone without a degree. It allowed me to take positions that others might not have the opportunity to have, or they would have had to start in a lower paying position and work their way up to get.

I have class privilege. I grew up middle class. I didn't grow up poor, and as a result, I had more access to things that those of a lower socioeconomic status would not. Better neighborhoods, better schools, better opportunities. I had the luxury of being able to go to college, not everyone know how to access loan and grant money to pay for college. Not everyone can find a job that pays enough and is flexible enough to let someone go to school.

Now don't get me wrong, I haven't forgotten that there are other privileges I don't have. I've written about those many times. I do however, think it's important to acknowledge our privilege so that we can see others and see that sometimes those who are disadvantaged or suffering have obstacles we don't necessarily think about.

Going Back To Jim Crow

2010-03-21T08:50:00.003-05:00

Since the election of our President, I have come to the conclusion that race wise, America is going backwards. This story about the tea party movement is especially telling to me. John Lewis, Barney Frank, along with others have indicated that they were called certain slurs by tea party protesters.

Now the discussion is healthcare. So why oh why is race or sexual orientation even mentioned? Honestly why does the Tea Party movement stay so silent, or even defend such things? Honestly if the tea party movement is really about government, then why, oh why, does no one from the side seem to condemn what is said, instead they say people are playing the "race card" or there is some conspiracy with democrats and liberals planting people in the tea party ranks to make them look bad. I'm sorry, the tea party movement doesn't need help to look bad. They do it all on their own. It seems like this movement is very much like the anti-civil rights protesters of the 1960s. They spread misinformation and many don't know why they are protesting, except their angry Obama won.

So why does it seem the Tea Party movement embraces racism? If the focus is on government, focus on government.

White People Help Me Understand Glenn Beck And White Slavery In America?

2010-03-20T13:39:00.004-05:00

OK I know that some white people are upset a black man became President. I just didn't know that there was modern day white slavery in America. I also don't understand how in the 3/5ths compromise did not treat black slaves as 3/5ths of a person for tax purposes?

I mean this is a great summary of the 3/5ths compromise:

The three-fifths compromise was an agreement between Southern and Northern states reached during the Constitutional Convention of 1787, during which the basic framework of the United States was established. Under this compromisecompromisecompromise, slaves were counted as three-fifths of a human being for the purpose of taxation and representation in Congress. As a result, slave-owners and the Southern states got a deal deal of political clout.

Seems to me black people (slaves) for the purpose of taxes and representation was only 3/5ths of a human being according to the Constitution. So yeah, we were 3/5ths of a person. I guess that is better than livestock.

I'm amazed that this man has an audience, but I guess the angry white people pissed off that we now have a black man in charge, need something to get them riled up. I mean honestly, were we talking about white slavery when W. was in office, or during the last census?

Also white people, when did minorities become more valuable than white people? What was this assessed value? What is this minority money he talks about? Where is my minority money? Did I forfeit it when I married a white man?

What is white slavery in today's America?

So white people explain or answer my questions for me. I don't quite understand it.

PS: For all those who plan to identify themselves as "American" instead of choosing a race on the census. I am going to assume "American" is white, as in Glenn Beck's world and for people like him, the only true Americans are white. Maybe the census should too.

Black Male Privilege

2010-03-18T09:15:00.003-05:00

I heard an interesting story over at NPR. It's about something that is discussed here, in not so formal terms, but something that is often dismissed. Black Male Privilege. Now let's not get it confused with white male privilege. It isn't the same. This privilege is relevant only within the black community. Black men and their privilege over black women. We tend to focus on talking about black men and their crisis, never do we focus on their advantages.

L'Heureux Lewis, the person who was interviewed in the NPR piece, pointed out an example of incarceration rates. When we discuss incarceration rates, we tend to focus on black men, while ignoring the issues that cause black women to become incarcerated.

Lewis also talks about sexual assault within the black community. How often sexual assault within the black community is easily dismissed. Remember the Rihanna incident? We do have a tendency to blame the victim, or rather protect the assailant. We tend to view incidents of sexual assault as trapping the black man. It seems to show sympathy for the victim is hurting or degrading black men, and we pretend assault against black women don't exist, or that somehow it's the woman's fault when these things happen.

I found it interesting that one focus of privilege within the black community was negotiating sex. Black men who are educated and employed within our community are at an advantage. Due to the imbalance between black men and black women who fit into this criteria, there has been actual discussion of man sharing, sleeping with married men, or for black women to "settle" for those who are not as educated or not employed in a professional capacity. I think we are the only race who does this. I've never seen a professional white woman be expected to date or marry a line cook at a fast food restaurant for hopes that one day he'll move up. They are expected to be with established men, where as black women are expected to help establish their men.

I do like that Professor Lewis also addresses "Denzel Principle" book that came out, showing black women why they can't get a man. Why aren't black men asking what they are doing that impacts relationships? It seems when relationships are mentioned, the focus is always on black women.

Do you think black men are capable of seeing black male privilege? Do you think it exists?

The Hollywood Standard of "Looking Good, Feeling Gorgeous"

2010-03-13T18:49:00.005-06:00

Howard Stern recently made some comments about Gabourey Sidibe, the star of "Precious".

Here is a sample of the comments:

“There’s the most enormous, fat black chick I’ve ever seen. She is enormous. Everyone’s pretending she’s a part of show business and she’s never going to be in another movie. “She should have gotten the Best Actress award because she’s never going to have another shot. What movie is she gonna be in?”

Unfortunately, Howard is right, she's big and black, and that will be held against her in Hollywood. Fat people and black people have a hard time finding roles. That's just how the movie industry works. To look good and feel gorgeous in Hollywood, you have to be skinny and light. The movie "Precious" was a prime role for her. She had to play a dark skinned black girl who's extremely overweight. She nailed it. But I don't think she nailed the role simply because she was fat and black. She nailed it, because she's a good actress. Her fat and her blackness helped her in that role, but her acting was what ultimately lead to her getting her Oscar nomination. Yes, Howard's an idiot, but he told the truth in regards to Hollywood standards.

I think at times Hollywood, like the music industry has focused too much on the glamour and not enough on the substance, which is why we have sequels for each and every movie that comes out, and every movie seems to be a remake. I will commend the casting director of "Precious" for choosing Sidibe, instead of going with a more well-known actress and making them appear fat.

PS: Gabourey Sidibe at least for now is getting some work. She's slated to star in a movie and a TV series.

Us Vs. THEM

2010-03-11T04:05:00.003-06:00

So today we have discovered what people have been talking about forever. Minority births are on track to outnumber white births. Oh no, what are we going to do? The minorities are taking over!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's not get too excited.

Minorities aren't one big monolithic group. Blacks, hispanics, asians, and multiracial. Now you can't blame the blacks, asians, or multiracials, we aren't really growing in population. Blame the hispanics. That is what the news is doing. All these hispanic women of child bearing age procreating and such. Damn them. Of course hispanic isn't really a race of people, but rather a culture. You can be black, asian, multiracial, and yes even white, and be hispanic.

So exactly what is the news here. It seems the spin on this is now that whites are becoming a minority. When in reality they are still the majority. So 52% of births are white. That's just downright scary, in America the white population should be closer to 99%. The 25% hispanic, the 12% black, 4% asian, and 4% multiracial populations are all on track to surpass white people.

Watch out white people, you're still the majority. Now go freak out about still being the majority.

The media spin of the Us (white people) vs. Them (everyone else) diatribe is taking us back to a gentler time of Jim Crow era. Spread fear and concern that white people are dwindling in numbers so that the number of neo Nazi sympathizers and KKK members can increase. Now we can hear the conversations about white people paying for minorities on welfare (which is happening in the comments section of the article I linked as we speak), because we know only minorities are on welfare and leach off the government. No white person in the history of America has ever used welfare, and no minorities pay taxes.

Questioning Beauty Standards

2010-03-06T16:20:00.006-06:00

****** No I'm not saying that weave automatically means trying to be white, I said this in the fist post and people still were upset and made the same assumption. I am essentially asking if we are expected to adhere to beauty standards that target all women, but are based upon only one race of women*****

One of my most popular blog entries this one. It's about black women and beauty ideals. People on occasion will comment on this entry. It apparently makes some people mad. I've gotten some great comments, such as:

I notice it is mostly black women who already have long hair that have a problem with other black women wearing weaves. I have long hair. As a child I didn't and I would never wear a weave. Now that my hair grew long I will braid it up and get a full stocking cap weave because I never new how fun long hair was but it is also alot to manage so I'd rather do it to fake hair than my own. I also wear color contacts on my already light brown eyes. I change them as I change my eye make up. I would never change anything about myself permently. But I love being able to use modern discovery to have fun. And if a person black or white wants to change there hair with weaves or color or perm or relaxer. Maybe it's just because it is fun to do something different. Same goes for eye color. Most girls black, white or other enjoy long hair. It's not self hate it's just the joy of being a girl. And those who don't rock too.-Made4U2Wonder

It's called doing what you WANT TO DO. IT'S THEIR FACE AND BODIES so they can do w/e they want...also, blk people come in all shapes and forms just like other races...so the point of this commentary is?!

Omg most women(and im not zoning in on any one race) wear weaves for thousands of different reasons! Here think outside the box: jus becuz there hair is already long doesn't mean it's useless to get a weave, for example maybe they work out everyday and they're press sweats out, no one especially a black woman in their right mind would restraighten it EVERY DAY! That's wayy too much heat and will quickly damage your own hair. Now if they worked out with a weave who cares? The weave will dry straight after being drenched with sweat. There's no one reason for getting a weave. It's nice to give your hair a break for awhile so what? No one should be judged jus because they were born with long straight hair and want curly short hair or curly long hair for a couple months, they should do and get whatever they want!! Please stop judging bcuz you just sound rude and unthoughtful. [all black women aren't lil kim, Duh]

Sidditty I assume you are a man so I guess you thing we black women hate ourselves. I wear weave and I did not hate myself. I like the variety of hair styles I can wear. So I do not need a man telling me what to wear. I understand concepts that have been placed in our society about beauty but there are fashion statement. Well that is all you men are going to think what you want. I am pretty sure all races of men make comments about their women. I am liberated from what men think.

Hi I do not have a problem with any type of enhancement. I have been through all of the stages of the hair weave thing. I will say this white women wear more of it then any other race and no one says anything. Actually when they wear it they are put in the spotlight and it is so cute. I will admit I am a artist and I consider it art. Being able to alter your appearance be attaching or extending something to your body is the oldest form of art. Study history. I wore a afro for 3 years straight and I wanted a different look so I tried weave. It is all about a look. Hair is a fashion now and basically always been people have been wearing wigs for ages. Now since black women have been wearing it we are considered fake. That is intriges me. I want to see people make comment about white women and their fake stuff. The reality show "Wives of Orange County" all those women are fake and they do not get put down. What baffles me about black men is they will say nasty comments about black women and fake hair. But will be fascinated by fake boobs on white women. To sum it up in America is fake we eat fake food and that is worst then what you put on. So what is better fake food or fake hair. Besides who are men to tell us what to wear. Let's talk about what men are wearing. Why so much beating on black women. We still have not escaped the Willie Lynch Theory.

If you notice, people have accused me of being a man, being rude and unthoughtful, and that I am a victim and perpetrator of Willie Lynch(yes, I'm aware this has been dismissed as a hoax).

Now, I don't think I personally went out to insult black women with this particular blog entry, I just questioned why some black women desire for weave, color contacts, and hair dye). Why in particular we aim to have hair styles and eye colors not normally associated with people of color, but white people?

I'm not against choice, I'm really not, but it seems some women's choices tend to go towards the mainstream (read white) look, and to me that's sad. I have nothing against the white look, but I do have a problem with people of color being expected to adhere to beauty standards that we can't achieve without sticking some glue in our head and putting weird colored contacts in our eyes.

I don't think I am a hater of weave, but I admit I don't understand it, but then again, I've never worn weave, and I never thought weave was a good way to give my hair a "break", that is what protective styling is for. I also don't understand that if you do have waist length hair,how a weave will help protect that hair, instead of damaging it, I guess depending upon the weave.

I also understand that white women wear weave, they are also victims of unrealistic beauty ideals.

So I guess the point of the blog is this, is the concept of weave, color contacts, and hair dye a result of white or non black beauty standards, or are people just trying to enhance themselves or go for a different look? Do mainstream beauty standards have no impact on black women at all?

The Doll Market

2010-03-06T10:44:00.003-06:00

So now that I have a girl, I'm looking at dolls. Not that she cares now, honestly she doesn't care about much now, except about when she is going to eat and if someone can change her diaper, but I was looking at dolls. The husband and I decided that it would be best if we purchased dolls of all hues, and I remember as a kid wanting a doll that looked like me skin tone wise, as it meant to me as a kid that I was pretty too, and that Barbie wasn't the only pretty girl out there. Now, I'm a child of the 1980s, which means that the concept of racial inclusiveness when it came to dolls was that black Barbie would look just like white Barbie with darker skin. It was better than nothing, but it still wasn't where it needed to be. Now we are in the year 2010, and I know that by now things have improved and changed in the doll market and the multicultural niche was filled. It hasn't.

It seems that the major doll manufacturers haven't stepped up the game. It appears most the "black" dolls are still pretty white looking.Yes they have tans, but they seem to be lighter hued, or have green or hazel eyes. They all tend to have silky straight hair, and there is no such thing as a biracial dolls to the major doll manufacturers. Luckily, there is a niche market that appeals to this segment of the population. Unfortunately the dolls all tend to be blond with "kinky" or "curly" hair and have hazel eyes, because apparently biracial people all come out looking mostly white with some black features. Just to give you an idea, when I did a google search for biracial dolls, this is what I came up with:

Not to mention these "niche" dolls tend to be kind of expensive.

So I guess I will look forward to having to search for dolls for Rabbit.

It's Already Started: The Color Question

2010-02-27T17:10:00.002-06:00

It's already started

OK It took a few days, but it has happened. My husband's best friend is married to a special woman. This special woman has said things in the past. Here and here are some examples. So they see a pic of the baby, and she tells me, the best way to determine the color that my baby will turn out is determined by looking at the nail beds or behind her ears. I think to myself, who told her this. Another white women who is married to a black man and has biracial kids. Her mother in law told her. So obviously it's true, a black person told her. I hate when this happens. A black person tells a white person something and because that black person told them something, it must be true of all black people, and all black people believe this.

The looking at the ears and nail beds test to determine skin tone is not accurate. It's an old wives tale, and to be honest, I don't give a damn what color my child is, I just want her healthy.

Why do people care what color she turns out. We'll figure it out sooner or later.

Right now she is red. I assume she will come out tan. I really don't care, she's beautiful to me.

Gay People and Racism

2010-02-25T11:30:00.006-06:00

As you guys are all aware, I don't think people are able to see the humanity in others. Case and point, I've been on youtube arguing with a gay man. A gay man who responded to this video:

Now this video is supposed to be light hearted and fun. I was laughing at the video, but of course the racists came out in full force.

Now, obviously none of the racists actually watched this video. The video was a joke. The man claimed he invented the Flux Capacitor!!!!!

So the usual diatribe came about. The why do folks have black history month. Black people get hand outs. Black people complain and whine too much. Black people are the reason for the downfall of society. If we had white history month, it would be considered racist. You know the usual stuff.

In particular, a gay man jumped in on the conversation. He believes that blacks whine so much, we just get everything handed to us. Like we shout and the rest of the world bends over backwards. We also don't have fathers. We have no work ethic, and we're racist against white people. He's mad white people don't have a television network. He also made the assumption that black families are horrible. Another assumption made was that HBCU's didn't have scholarships and quotas to increase diversity (i.e. non-black people, primarily white people), only "white colleges" do that. He also told me of my love of KFC. No one told him a good southern girl doesn't eat KFC.

I often wonder how two different groups with similar struggles (note I didn't say the same, but similar) of stereotypes, being denied rights, and oppression could have such a huge disconnect. This man vehemently fights to defend gays all over youtube, I went to his profile page where you can see his various comments about gays and gay rights. He doesn't seem upset about the channels and magazines dedicated to gay people like Logo, OUT, the Advocate, or Curve. He is however upset about BET, Ebony, Jet, Black Enterprise, and other things that target a black demographic. Does he not see his hypocrisy? I wonder how he felt about Dan Savage and his race debacle? Much like the white women who so vehemently scream about blacks getting the right to vote before women, but completely ignoring that many blacks were not able to vote years after women got the right to vote. The same ones who talk about affirmative action as if they aren't protected under the same exact laws they are complaining about.

How do we get people to see each other's struggle, without dismissing those struggles?

I'm A Mom

2010-02-18T20:24:00.005-06:00

I'm supposed to be 35 weeks pregnant, but I'm not. I'm a mom. A mom to a girl about 4 weeks early. A mom to a girl sleeping right next to me as I write this.

Today is my birthday and I got the greatest present in the world just two days before. How do you top receiving a brand new human? I mean there are no cool clothes or cars that can match that. Of course, just because I had a baby two days before my birthday does not mean you can go around pretending you don't owe me a gift either.

Just some info. For blog purposes and nickname purposes, her name is Rabbit. She is called Rabbit because she has some huge honking feet. Rabbit feet.

She was born on February 16. Now my husband is screwed, he has to worry about Valentines Day, her birthday, and mine, which is February 18.

She weighs 5lbs 5oz. She sleeps alot. She has a hairy back. It's one of the 1st things I noticed. I don't have to worry about waxing her because it's lanugo and goes away with time. I hope so. She also has hair on her ears. I feared for a while my child was a werewolf. Hey at least she doesn't look like this:

She's kind of demanding, but really cute, and I really like her. She will be blogging probably in a couple of months. She's that awesome and smart. It's true, the doctor told me. He told me she is mature and acts like a 37 week old. So there.

Why Do We Forgive & Forget So Easily?

2010-02-15T04:06:00.006-06:00

Last week, I wrote about John Mayer's racist penis. In the comments, Dark_Moon made a comment about Eric Clapton being racist. Now, I had to actually Google this, as I had never heard that Eric Clapton was racist. How can a man who essentially plays black music, has been strongly influenced by black music, and loves to have black background singers, be racist? Well, read this, and let me know what you think:

Do we have any foreigners in the audience tonight? If so, please put up your hands. Wogs I mean, I'm looking at you. Where are you? I'm sorry but some fucking wog...Arab grabbed my wife's bum, you know? Surely got to be said, yeah this is what all the fucking foreigners and wogs over here are like, just disgusting, that's just the truth, yeah. So where are you? Well wherever you all are, I think you should all just leave. Not just leave the hall, leave our country. You fucking (indecipherable). I don't want you here, in the room or in my country. Listen to me, man! I think we should vote for Enoch Powell. Enoch's our man. I think Enoch's right, I think we should send them all back. Stop Britain from becoming a black colony. Get the foreigners out. Get the wogs out. Get the coons out. Keep Britain white. I used to be into dope, now I'm into racism. It's much heavier, man. Fucking wogs, man. Fucking Saudis taking over London. Bastard wogs. Britain is becoming overcrowded and Enoch will stop it and send them all back. The black wogs and coons and Arabs and fucking Jamaicans and fucking (indecipherable) don't belong here, we don't want them here. This is England, this is a white country, we don't want any black wogs and coons living here. We need to make clear to them they are not welcome. England is for white people, man. We are a white country. I don't want fucking wogs living next to me with their standards. This is Great Britain, a white country, what is happening to us, for fuck's sake? We need to vote for Enoch Powell, he's a great man, speaking truth. Vote for Enoch, he's our man, he's on our side, he'll look after us. I want all of you here to vote for Enoch, support him, he's on our side. Enoch for Prime Minister! Throw the wogs out! Keep Britain white!

Now this was obtained from Wikipedia, so I decided to get some back up sources here and here to see if you guys could make it sound any nicer or justify the comment.

Now in today's world, we would get a nice weepy apology for such things, but back then, he got away with it, it was forgotten, and we all got lovey dovey with "Tears In Heaven" and all enjoy his blue-eyed blues. He gets endorsements and is a spokesperson for big huge companies.

Look proof, he isn't racist anymore, he's friends with Buddy Guy!!!! More like he is stealing Buddy Guy's music, but hey, you live and learn, right? I mean he can't justify what he said years later? Oh yes, he does. Clapton justifies his statements. Declaring Enoch Powell as "brave" and what the man said was still relevant. His stance has softened because now he believes the poor immigrants are exploited and forced into ghettos. I guess just the non-white ones.

Eric Clapton was the inspiration for the organization Rock Against Racism. Ironically so was David Bowie, you know that white guy married to Iman. Now, you know I love David Bowie, but I can't justify his dumb ass either. I don't think fascism is all that great and that Hitler was a rock star. That's just me though. At least Bowie was smart enough to apologize and at least blame the drugs for his stupidity. Drugs don't cause racism, but you know he didn't stand by the remarks. Elvis Costello has had to apologize for calling Ray Charles a "blind, arrogant n*gger" and James Brown as a "jive ass n*gger" and he didn't even do that onstage, but rather in a drunken stupor at a Holiday Inn bar.

So why do people continue to support people like Clapton? I feel a celebrity should put out a half assed apology before we all pretend we love them again.

Why do we forgive and forget? I hold a grudge too long to forget. I think others should do the same in regards to folks like John Mayer and Eric Clapton.

Damn

2010-02-13T05:51:00.006-06:00

There is nothing else to say, but DAMN. I take that back, yes there is.

Who the hell is that child that starts the song?

Janet I can't hear you as you sing with your deceased brother. Isn't that kind of creepy?

I thought Fergie got off the meth? What is wrong with her? Haven't you done this before, with a bunch of other child stars like Alyssa Milano, the whole cast of Kids Incorporated, half of Wild Orchid, Martika, Heather "Poltergeist" O'Rourke, Danny Pintauro, Alfonso Reibero, the kid who was on One Day At A Time after it jumped the shark, and Drew Barrymore at the start of her drug addiction? You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. She started doing drugs and hanging out at Studio 54 at a very young age. She was doing coke at age 10.

Is that a Pussycat Doll with a solo? Who did she gyrate in front of to get that?

I know that wasn't a Jonas Brother? I just know they weren't that desperate?

OH HELL NAW. Why Lil' Wayne? WHY? Can he go without use of Autotune?

Oh he can't, his buddy T-Pain is there, and Autotune is a requirement.

I know Jamie Foxx did not mimic Ray Charles? Ray Charles would not want to be in this mess and someone should have gotten Tony Bennett to save him from the embarrassment.

LL Cool J you're no longer hard as hell, and you no longer rock the bells.

Will.I.Am. uuuuuuuhhhhhmmmmmmm no.

Oh Busta I used to like you, what happened?

Snoop. Go back to the Dogg Pound.

Wyclef, what the hell was that?

Kanye, baby you can't live 12 days without water. You would die. Your will to live would be gone, BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAD.

It's good to see Lionel Ritchie working again?

This is too much hot mess. I can't comprehend what the hell Quincy Jones was thinking.

Why Black History Month Is Still Needed

2010-02-12T18:51:00.007-06:00

So it's February. February is a great month. It's the best month of the year. You have Valentine's Day. President's Day. Most importantly, it's the month of my birthday. Oh yeah, it's also Black History Month.

Now people like to bitch and moan about Black History Month. The belief is that Black History Month is a month for black people only, and that whites, asians, hispanics and other races don't have a month. OK if that were true, I would concur, but let's go ahead and re-evaluate that statement.

-March is Irish-American Heritage Month

-May is Jewish American Heritage Month and Asian Pacific American Heritage Month

-September 15th kicks off Hispanic Heritage Month and German American Month

-October is National Italian American Month

-November is Native American Heritage Month

I'm sure there are other cultures out there with months, but here is just a small selection. Do you notice that even white people have a month? I know it's crazy, but Irish, German, and Italians are considered white people in America, and no one makes a big stink about it. I wonder why?

Now, why is there a need for all these months. I can't answer for all of them, but I will attempt to answer for Black History Month. In school I learned black people in America didn't do much. We were slaves and we had a Civil Rights Movement, and some woman was tired and sat down on a bus, and there was this one guy who made some peanut butter. We contributed nothing to science, music, culture. We fought in no wars. We were just some oppressed mofos that sat around sad and oppressed and with the creation of welfare, we learned how to live in public housing and use food stamps. We learned to dance, sing, and perform hip hop. We also got jobs by virtue of our blackness alone, isn't that what Affirmative Action is?

Yes I learned that in school. OK not all of that, but some of it. Some guy did do something with peanuts. I did learn that in school.

Now we all know, we did more than work for free and fight for Civil Rights. Of course, you kind of have to learn about that kind of stuff on your own. It just wasn't taught in schools. Not in the schools I attended anyway.

So my question is to all those who dislike the idea of Black History month, why is it an issue to have a month spreading awareness of African Americans and their impact in America? Is learning blacks were more than slaves a threatening thing?

If you want to know more about blacks in America outside of what BET tells you, go here.

John Mayer Has Racist Private Parts

2010-02-10T19:21:00.008-06:00

John Mayer had a playboy interview. I had issues with it. I feel bad for feeling creeped out about Matthew McConaughey

Let's go to the controversial part of the interview, which was conducted during some scotch consumption. There is no excuse for stupidity, drunk or not though.

PLAYBOY: If you didn't know you, would you think you're a douche bag?

MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are "Your Body Is a Wonderland" and "Daughters." If you think those songs are pandering, then you'll think I'm a douche bag. It's like I come on very strong. I am a very...I'm just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can't handle very, then I'm a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That's why black people love me.

PLAYBOY: Because you're very?

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, "What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?" And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, "I can't really have a hood pass. I've never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, 'We're full.'"

PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.

MAYER: What is being black? It's making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that's seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you'll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude's.

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don't think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a fuckin' David Duke cock. I'm going to start dating separately from my dick.

PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.

MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.

Oh John, you silly boy. I know some black women are upset about his preference, I'm not really all that concerned with that. I don't find men who compare to their "c*cks" to David Duke sexy. Plus I think that Jon Mayer is kind of cheesy, like a poseur, he's sensitive and cutting edge, but listens to Jessica Simpson and Ke$ha mainstream pop crud.

John, this is going to hurt your feelings, but not all black people love you. There are cooler white people in the world to like. I'm just saying, I haven't met en masse a bunch of black John Mayer lovers. Yes, some exist, but I don't think the whole black race has fallen in love with you, I know I haven't.

In regards to your "hood pass" aka "n*gger pass", I will be positive and say at least you know you don't have one. That's a positive. Now let's talk about the "hood" or "n*gger". I know that black people love you, but black people don't take kindly to white people using the term "n*gger". You know you don't have a pass, don't use the word John.

Also, black does not equal "hood". I know that BET tells you different, but BET isn't an accurate reflection of black people, I swear.

OK John, I am glad you are trying to articulate what you think it means to be black, but really, don't try. I can't articulate what it is like to be a white dude or a douche bag, I can tell you what I think it is, but I can't tell you how white people live, because, I'm not white.

John, I will give you credit, you used twitter to apologize, but really it isn't just about saying"n*gger", it is about being a douche. Apologize for being a douche, John.

For the full Jon Mayer interview, please go here.

Thanks Grata for the heads up.

Capitalism vs. Socialism

2010-02-05T17:58:00.005-06:00

I just finished watching this video about socialism and how it pertains to African Internationalism. Obviously I am not an African Internationalist in the terms she is probably referring to. She did however have some interesting points. Now this isn't fact, but rather based upon my experiences.

I live in America, where capitalism is embraced, it is loved, it is a "way of life", where as socialism is seen as an evil, horrible thing, that will crush America. Now we all know per the republicans, Tea Party goers, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh being a liberal, or democrat, or anything left of the right is considered being a socialist intent on destroying capitalism. Now I love capitalism, think it has it's good in America, but get this I don't necessary hate socialism. Socialism, like capitalism, cannot fix everything.

Now before you get out the pitchforks and declare I hate America, I will explain to you why I think I don't completely hate the CONCEPT of socialism. Mind you, I know socialism doesn't work in the ways it has been used in the past, but I don't necessary think capitalism is the salvation to all of America's problems either. I think in my experience, within my family history, the ideas of socialism have been implemented in American culture in the past.

I come from a family of country folks, they lived in small enclaves and communities mostly made up of black people, some on the land in which they were slaves. I still have many relatives that live in these enclaves. In the past these enclaves due to segregation had their own churches, schools, doctors, midwives, stores, and other businesses and services. They were self sufficient communities. For blacks, segregation forced people together, not by class like today; but rather race. So the doctors, teachers, nurses and other white collar/professional workers, lived near the janitors, cooks, maids, and others who worked more "blue collar" and "pink collar" jobs. They might not have lived next door to them, but they didn't live clear on the other side of town either. So what you had was a rather close knit small community, where every knew everyone else's business. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. If someone lost their job and their kids were hungry, the church would organize a food drive. If someone had to work, and had no childcare for their kids, there was always someone watching there kids, and if the kids were up to no good, always someone to tell the parents. If they couldn't afford to go to the doctor, the doctor would work out a payment plan. All in all, if someone was struggling, there was someone to help out, and you just weren't completely out on your own. People helped each other for the greater good of community.

Now when I say socialism, I'm looking at the moral commitment to community and equality. I'm not look so much at the economic model where the state is in control, I'm looking at the concept of the collective. The community or enclave in this case is the collective. In these enclaves there were rich and there were poor, but the commitment to community appeared to be greater than the commitment to just one's self. At least compared to today.

In today's world, people don't know their neighbors. We shop at big box stores instead of small, local businesses. We go to mega churches. Simply put, we focus on our immediate family now and we congregate with a sea of nameless, faceless people. Sometimes we donate and give to charity, but we give to major charities that give to people who we don't know, who might not even live in our own country, much less our own community. Everything this day and age seems to be focused more on the individual rather than the community. Is this because of our fear of socialism, or because we embrace capitalism?

Once desegregation occurred, blacks were no longer maligned to certain areas, we were free to live, school,and work where ever we wanted The enclave was no longer the enclave, race was no longer a factor in the concept of community (at least for black people). The upper class blacks could afford to live next to upper class whites. The black middle class could live where the white middle class lived. That left those who couldn't afford to move all by themselves. The community was now made up of mostly poor people. Since much of the money left, many of the businesses closed. The black doctor moved to the other side of town, so you went to the white doctor that was closer. The community disintegrated because the poor all by themselves could not sustain the community. Money provided more choice, and many people with money chose to leave.

So was this the fault of capitalism? Did capitalism or socialism cause the poor, in particular poor black people to have to rely on government assistance? Did it lead to the disintegration of black communities that at one time were vibrant and crime free? Or did socialism cause the rise of government programs to help the poor, since the community was no longer cohesive?

No Obama is not a socialist. No more of a socialist than George W. Bush anyway. :)

Maybe Post Racial America Does Exist?

2010-02-03T08:09:00.007-06:00

Thanks Lovelyn for forwarding this to me.

I was given a link to this blog the other day, a black woman explaining how race or racism affects her and her husband.

Per this woman race was never an issue because she grew up around white people. She regards race as "insignificant" or "trivial" and her and her husband don't see race in each other. She also goes on to say that due to her upbringing in a predominantly white area,the black guys she did date, she had nothing in common with and they only dated her for looks, whereas with white guys they dated her due to having similarities and things in common, but then goes on to say they were surprised at articulate and educated she was. She also states that the only negative reaction she has received about her relationship is from other black people, and that where they live is very diverse and multicultural.

Her husband even responded, and he says the only time he realizes he is in an interracial relationship is when he is around black people, particularly black men.

You can go read it, so you can tell me if my summary is off or not.

Personally, being in an interracial relationship for almost 11 years, being pregnant with a biracial child, and maybe even because I live in Texas, I have a different view and experiences of interracial relationships.

This girl is about ten years younger than me, so maybe for the younger folks, no one says anything, and everyone is ok with it. When I was dating, this wasn't the case. I caused a stir in my high school because I went to prom with a white guy. It was a controversy and I got all kinds of questions from the other kids.

Growing up in a predominantly white area, I didn't live in a racially harmonious utopia, I don't think I ever forgot I was black. I was constantly reminded. Someone always felt the need to ask me if I wanted to hear a funny n-word joke. Or feel the need to ask me why I didn't know any gang members or live in the ghetto. I lived in an area, where I had a poor white girl believing my father was always home because he worked nights as a pimp. My father is the epitome of a black geek, he could't pimp his way out of a paper bag.

I dated white guys in high school and college,almost exclusively because to be honest, that is what I was always around, and I do know or at least think, as my husband has pointed out, men are men, and most men don't ask out girls unless they are physically attracted to them. Personality and common interests come later. It would explain why I always attracted uber preppy republican white boys or jocks. They weren't interested in my politics or my interests in sports. I've met many white guys who just wanted sex. I do notice that a lot of white guys that approached me were scared to approach me for fear I wouldn't like them because I might not be open to IR.

I personally found it insulting when white people think I'm a magical negro. So yes, I'm articulated and educated, probably more so than you, and it isn't some weird thing,it is just how I was raised. Why would anyone assume I'm not educated or articulate? We don't want to open that can of worms.

In terms of family and friends accepting our relationship. My parents love my husband, but I know that my mom and dad would have preferred I married a black man. My parents were concerned about the reactions from others, but my parents grew up in Jim Crow, so they might have a way different experience with white people than I ever did. My husband's parents and grandparents seem to like me. His mother would always tell me I was her favorite kid. We get/got along great, but there were things they would say that would indicate to me they weren't 100% colorblind.

In terms of how others receive our relationship, some like it, some don't. I made a decision a long time ago, I couldn't date a white guy who was scared or uncomfortable around groups of black people. I need to be able to go to family reunions. I will say how blacks and white approach their disdain is different. Black people tend to be more vocal about it. White people more subtle, but they do show disdain or confusion. White women who think my husband must be down or from the "trailer park", as there is no other type of white guy willing to date black women. White women getting upset and telling me white men are only attracted to black women with white features. White women telling me they wish their brother in laws would quit dating hispanic and black women and get white women so they could date a better quality women. I would say the backlash is 50/50, just different in the approach.

Maybe I'm a pessimist, but I think race still matters in America. I still think to many people it is relevant. I am aware my husband is white, he is aware I'm black, but the novelty of race has worn off on us, but we know that to others, this isn't the case.

Maybe my age has an impact on how I view race? I think currently race relations are going backwards, not forwards. I do think things have improved, but I don't think they are where they should be.

RIP Teddy

2010-01-17T09:31:00.000-06:00

The Ups and Downs Of Being Pregnant

2010-01-15T17:17:00.004-06:00

As you all know, I am pregnant. I've been pregnant it seems for 15 years, and yes I'm still pregnant. I love the concept of having a child and being pregnant, but I also have a lot of fears and concerns.

It sounds selfish, but it's the truth.

Let's talk about the down side:

Pregnancy is not really fun for me. It scares the hell out of me, and I'm not a normal pregnant lady. It takes surgery, bed rest, a perinatologist, an OB/GYN, a home health nurse, weekly p17 shots in my butt, and a little bit of hospitalization to keep me pregnant. Needless to say, I'm going through some stuff. I'm tired of laying down, and I feel like an old lady. I'm in constant fear, because let's face it, I don't have much luck with pregnancy.

A downside of my pregnancy is, and I'm going to be blunt, I'm not getting any. Nada, nothing. I like to think my husband and I are in a platonic, room mate like relationship, where he does everything for me, and we at times get to cuddle. I don't think he wants to cuddle, but he does it anyway. I didn't want to be celibate, but I didn't have much of a choice. A benefit of marriage is nookie, and I'm not getting any. It sucks.

The belly thing takes some getting used to. Being on bed rest, I avoid mirrors the majority of the day, but on the occasion that I pass one, I really start freaking out. I plan to go on a diet as soon as this baby comes out. The sad thing is I have gained virtually no weight this pregnancy.

There is no dignity in pregnancy. More men now have probably seen my private parts than all the men I've ever dated have combined. I've been felt up, poked, prodded, and it is weird. I was a bit uncomfortable with my OB/GYN feeling my boobs up in my husband's presence. He was checking for lumps, but it's still something you don't expect to happen. I'm thinking maybe I should vajazzle, so that when labor comes, the nurses and doctors will have something interesting to look at.

My boobs have gotten bigger. For some women this is a great thing, but I was already "blessed" in that area. Now it's just ridiculous.

I've come to the realization my boobs will no longer be pretty. It's something I'm coming to terms with, but I am choosing breast feeding over perkiness. I can get them "fixed" with aid of a plastic surgeon later, right?

I've come to the realization my boobs are not sexual objects, but rather a milk machine for a baby. Udders if you will. I'm basically going to be a human cow. It's weird, will guys still ogle them if they are known to be udders rather than breasts? Maybe that's a good thing.

I'm making peace with the fact I'm going to be a mom. No happy hour whenever. Travel will be a bit more difficult, and I can't just come and go as I please, I've got other things to consider now, such as a baby's feeding and changing schedule, and nap times. I just hope I don't become that mom that obsesses over anything and everything baby.

What if my friends think I'm "that mom"? I don't think I could take it. What if I lose every other aspect of my personality because I became a mom?

I know marriage means for the most part you're stuck with your husband forever, but now, I'm really stuck forever. Even if I can't stand him, we get divorced, and all things go to hell in our relationship, I have to see this man the rest of my life because we are tied together by a baby. Pregnancy makes things feel even more permanent.

If I ever were to become single, I'd be a single mom, dating would be hard, and dammit, what if I "come home" to the brothas? Would they date me tainted with "tha man"? This doesn't really matter and isn't relevant as I'm not getting divorced, and more than likely looking at my previous dating history, the brothas don't want me anyway, but still I have to look at all the possibilities. I'm on bed rest, I have lots of time to think about stuff.

I'm hormonal, which makes me extra angry, more than I normally am.

Now the positives of being pregnant:

The whole, "I made a human aspect" is amazing. It is cool to know that me and the hubby made a baby.

When your big beer belly stomach moves as the human you made kicks and punches you it is neat to watch, even if it hurts sometimes.

The experience of pregnancy has bought me and the husband closer together. Even if we aren't getting any.

My husband still thinks I'm pretty even though I have a beer belly and can't shave my legs properly. He actually smiles when he looks at my belly, versus freak out. It's nice.

It's completely insane and cool at the same time to be in love with someone you've never met. The first time I heard her heartbeat was probably a moment I won't ever forget. I can't. I record every single visit, so it's well documented.

OK baby shopping is fun. It really is.

So is coming up with baby names.

It's fun to imagine what she will look like. I imagine she will be supermodel gorgeous. I'm just saying she has really good genes :)

People encourage you to eat. No one says anything if you want ice cream for breakfast.

It's cool that when people do see your big beer belly, they realize you are pregnant, and don't make fun of you or talk behind your back about it.

Because you're pregnant, people treat you extra nice. They want to help take care of you. There's also mommy parking at certain places. You can't beat that.

Realizing that I won't have to lay down forever and that I am doing this suffering for a good cause, and I will have good guilt trip material when the kid becomes a teenager.

AAAWWWWWW

2010-01-15T16:41:00.001-06:00

If Black Women Were White Women-Repost

2010-01-10T15:45:00.002-06:00

This is a blog post from a great site. I thought it was genius and was absolutely true. It is an awesome read, so I thought I would repost it. I did not write this, but I love this, and want to make sure I give credit where credit is due. Please go check out Alienated Conclusions.

"If" Black Women Were White Women
August 23, 2009

In “If Men Could Menstruate,” Gloria Steinem makes the persuasive argument that “Whatever a ‘superior’ group has will be used to justify its superiority, and whatever an ‘inferior’ group has will be used to justify its plight.”

For too long the definition of racism has been a fight between white and black manhood or “who’s the bigger man”, so to speak. We've trivialized the existence of gender between both groups of men in favor for discussion of the "bigger issue".

This has historically enabled white female supremacy—the most unchallenged form of white supremacy—to escape any critical thought.

What if suddenly, instantly, the power of white femininity were transferred to black women?

The answer is clear: Black women would represent value, purity; and based on their natural traits would be worthy of protection and instantly become the objects of universal desire. White women would represent the opposite.

“Beauty tar potion” would become globally popular to get the “black look.” “Dove” would be replaced with a black soap called “Raven” to help exfoliate the skin and bring out subtle hints of melanin.

White female features would be declared violent. Their “jagged” thin lips, “knife sharp” noses, and “harsh” jaw lines would be nature's way of expressing why men have a natural preference for the soft features of black women. Soft lips, soft cheekbones, and soft, round noses would be proof of natural femininity. Full, pink lips and large, dark eyes would become associated with virginal black girls whose purity must not be compromised. Black female features would thus be said to represent youth.

Straight, blond hair would be considered “wild and unruly” because when the wind blew, it did not stay in place. Women with naturally straight hair would hide their “unruly” and “wild” stick-straight hair in public. The desire for “lightweight hair” that defied gravity would permanently end the use of blow dryers. Keeping one's natural blond hair wild and straight would become indicative of a political statement.

The anti-aging properties of black female skin combined with soft, curvy bodies would be proof of the overall reproductive health of black women. Scientists would argue that black women were naturally preferred as long term mates and mothers because they were “healthier.” Men’s attraction to women is based on overall health and fertility, after all.

Suddenly, biracial women would be “in” because the hard features of white women wouldn't prevent the fragile genes of “black beauty” from peeking through. Men would suddenly have the desire to date “ethnic,” non-black women since they would look “closer to black” than blond women—at least they wouldn't look like white women.

Statistics would equate the fact that white women make up the majority with their “overpowering” and “strong” population. This would be proof that they could handle unsafe neighborhoods. The “strong culture” they would have created amongst themselves would enable them to withstand their lack of protection from predators and criminals. Statisticians would argue that men were attracted to black women innately because they made up a small percentage of the population. “We tend to value what is rare,” they might say.

Men would proclaim that white women deserve sexual objectification because “flat buttocks” allow for deeper penetration. In ghettos across America, men would stand on street corners and yell “Damn! You got a flat ass!” to remind white women of their sexual status in society.

Upper class women would be afraid that their “asses looked flat” since it would represent animalistic and sexual deviance, like white women. Black women’s buttocks, said to protrude farther from the body, would prove that their natural vulnerability made them “less equipped” to handle hardcore sex and rape like white women could.

“I need a strong white woman!” would become a popular “empowering” slogan for exploitative men who rationalized the emotional, financial, and sexual overburdening of white women.

Overweight white nannies would become the “acceptable white women” in popular culture as they do not pose a threat to black female superiority and privilege. Conventionally attractive white women would serve as a sexual threat to black women for single-handedly breaking down the beauty hierarchy.

Hip hop videos would feature men throwing money at “white bitches” bent over in front of the camera to showcase their white asses, eager for deep penetration. Entire songs would be devoted to hatred of “white gold digging bitches” who believed that they were entitled to the financial security in marriage to which black women were entitled. “Penetrable white asses” and “pale-faced hoes” would become the cash commodity for selling entire musical genres.

White women’s “hard” bodies would be deemed more “capable” of fighting off sexual attackers, while the soft curves of black female bodies would become worthy of police protection. White women, despite being at high risk of being victimized by violence and sexual crimes, would not “need” police protection.

Movies would feature black women as the main objects of men’s desire across racial lines while stereotypes of evil, bitter, and oversexed white women would further prove why men of all races simply did not prefer blonds. “We can’t help those to whom we're attracted,” men would say. “Preference” would become an unconcealed acceptance of discrimination against white women. White women’s anger towards and sadness about the status quo would show their unreasonable jealousy of the innate superiority of black women.

Republicans would ban abortions to protect the virtue of pure, black motherhood and liberals would advocate increasing the number of abortion clinics in “low income” neighborhoods where white women would be the majority. Liberals would claim that white women had “culturally” approved of sexual objectification and were “safe enough” without outside help since they were warned not to touch “in-group issues” with a ten foot pole.

And so on and so forth.

The most important reality is that black feminists would eventually grow tired of being seen as innocent and vulnerable in patriarchy and would fight to erase the commodity of black femininity. “The innocent, submissive, and vulnerable representation of women is what puts us in danger. The rigid category of femininity has contributed to our oppression,” they might argue.

In the back of every black feminist movement we would hear the quiet and dignified pleas of radical white feminists. “But, we do not represent femininity. We are considered strong, incapable of feeling pain, and sexually deviant—but all this has done is increase our likelihood of being in danger. And aren’t we women too?”

As Gloria Steinem wrote, “In short, the characteristics of the powerful, whatever they may be, are thought to be better than the characteristics of the powerless - and logic has nothing to do with it.”

What remains universally evident is that the many justifications for power and privilege are always inherent, always scientific, and always permeate society to the point that they remain deeply buried within our collective consciousness.

Until someone challenges them.

© 2009 Alienati0n

Edited by Kara Feldman.

Does Marriage Work?

2010-01-05T15:34:00.002-06:00

Obviously I am biased in my opinion as I am now married, and I think marriage can be successful. I see my parents 36 almost 37 years in, and they are still in love with each other. I also know the reality, 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Marriage can be hard sometimes. I can understand why people would want to cohabitate. I can understand why people don't want to cohabitate. I know for my parents, the concept of me living with my husband before marriage was an issue due to their religious beliefs. They referred to that period in my life as "living in sin". Yes I know all about Corinthians 7:8-9 and 6:18-20. Hebrews 13:4. We all know my stance on religion too, so you know that it has no bearing on my life. It did however on my parents. I know also as a person who is married I receive benefits that those who are not married do not, which is why I am all for same sex marriage. I know many gay and lesbian couples who have a very strong relationship, probably stronger than some straight couples I know.

So is marriage outdated? Does it work? Even with all the stats of marriage out there, why do people still want to get married?

How To Get Black Women

2010-01-04T12:25:00.001-06:00

I figured since I gave black women free advice, it is now time for the white men to get their free advice.

White men, even though you don't know it, you want a black woman. All of you do. In matter of fact, you might be thinking, "Black women are hot, but I don't know how to approach them?" Well let me tell you how it's done. With these moves, black women will be throwing themselves at you.

1. Black women love ebonics, so you should approach them in that manner. We love using our own "black vernacular", all of us. We think it is sexy when you learn our "black language".

2. Treat us as if we should be grateful to be with you. You're white after all, making you a catch. Black women should be throwing their panties at you.

3. If you approach a black women, make sure you try to connect with her through her blackness. Tell her how much you like Jay Z or some type of hip hop. Tell her your favorite show is "Good Times", and that you always had a crush on Thelma or Wilona.

4. Also to get to know her better, ask her questions about "black people", she understands how all black people think. We're all the same.

5. After you offer to pay for her food, treat her essentially like a prostitute. Offer sex in the car, you don't feel like driving all the way back to your place, after all you paid for some Chick-fil-A, and that chicken sandwich ain't cheap. We will love this idea, after all we ordered waffle fries too. We are all Jezebels, and yes we're wild in bed, or in this case a car.

6. Be sure to tell her she's not like the other black people you've met because she's employed, childless, and doesn't speak ebonics. Which is true, since most blacks are unemployed, pop out babies, and don't understand proper English.

7. Make sure to show her how colorblind you are by indicating we are all the same color in the dark. That's hot.

8. If you guys get serious, avoid your family and friends like the plague, just because she is this awesome person who you find beautiful inside and out, she should be a dirty secret, after all, she's black, and who wants to hassle with the parents, am I right?

9. If you start to get serious with a black girl, let her know you can never marry her, you just want to keep things as they are, who the hell marries black women? Certainly not white men. She should be grateful you even looked in her black direction, much less wanted to be involved with her at all.

10. If you can't tell, you're not supposed to take this seriously.

How To Get A White Man

2010-01-03T08:36:00.006-06:00

It has come to my attention recently that white men are hard to get. They are coveted, loved, and admired so much they want nothing to do with black women. Well I say that's malarkey. Yes, they are a completely different species, being white and all, but yes, you, you too, can get a white man, and I will show you how. Look at all those men I posted, they could all be yours, in particular the man in the mugshot. Sexy.

As we know getting a white man means that you have arrived in the world. The concept of getting a man of any race is hard enough for us down trodden black women, but a white man is the pinnacle of black women achievement. Forget education, a career, a fulfilling life of friends and family, your ultimate goal is a white man.

Here are some tips for those who want to achieve the pinnacle of black women's success. Some of this is really hard, so I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but it's possible.

1. Try not to look like hot ass out in public, or if you are on a dating site, put up a good picture of yourself. If you are out on the prowl for a white man, a pair of sweat pants is not going to cut it. You need to dress it up. Put on your jeans that accent your black woman ass, make sure you comb your hair, take care of personal hygiene like brushing your teeth and bathing. Deodorant is a bonus. For those using online dating sites, avoid taking pictures that accent your double chins, don't put up the pic from Cancun where you are drunk out of your mind. Try also to ensure your eyes aren't closed or that you don't have the evil red eye.

2. If a white man has the audacity to approach black little old you, actually talk to him if you're interested,which you should be since he is white and all, ask him questions about himself, engage him in conversation. If you think things are going well, ask him for his phone number. For some you can just offer up sex right then and there. The white man will appreciate that. He really will. I hear the white men love sluts.

3. Let's say you don't offer up sex and obtain a phone number. Wait for this, this is going to be crazy, but call him. If he answers great and seems interested in talking great, if not move on. Maybe that white man isn't ready for all that jelly you have to offer him, but hey at least you tried.

4. OK Let's say the white guy shows interests in your pathetic black self and you end up being asked out on a date. Go on the date. Dress nice (dress according to the location of the date), throw on a little make up. If he wants to do something outdoorsy and you're not an outdoor person, just try it out and see. I know us black women all worry about our hair and humidity, but that is what wigs and weaves are for. If it is restaurant full of food you've never tried, try it, I mean it can't hurt, and when trying the food, make sure you don't have a look of disgust on your face because it isn't some fettucini alfredo from Olive Garden. If you end up liking it great, if you don't remind yourself to never go back there. The point of the date isn't the food, but rather a chance to get to know your date.

5. OK now, let's determine you guys like each other and that coveted white man asks you out again. Go again, continue to get to know him better. I know this sounds crazy, but it really works.

6. Let's say this white man is really liking you, despite the fact that you're black and wants to move to the next level, a steady relationship. Go for it!!!! Keep going out, spending time together. Also try to keep up appearances, don't let yourself go because you got the man, buy some cutesy underwear and limit grandma panties to that time of the month. Continue to work out. Continue to act like you like him and not treat him like crap.

7. Let's say it gets really serious and you move in together. Continue to treat him with respect. I know this is crazy, but guys like to be respected, even if they don't put down the toilet seat, they want people to love and respect them. Maybe cook them a meal, clean up the house, or maybe just maybe take him out to dinner.

8. Overlook all the flaws of your white man. OK he's been to prison. He might have an anger issue. He might treat you like crap and have five kids with five different women. He might weigh 500 pounds. He might be ashamed to bring you around his family. So what? We're not all perfect you know. Sometimes he takes you to Wendy's for a frosty and that should be enough for you. Don't be picky. The most important thing is that he be white.

9. Make sure as soon as you secure a white man to get knocked up by him. Getting pregnant by white guys almost always equals marriage, at the very minimum child support, because you know all white men have jobs and money. They are rich and they all went to college and make six figure incomes. It's true because I watch television and all the white people live really good lives, even if they are delivery drivers they have the nice car, the nice house, and their wives can afford to stay at home and raise the kids.

10. If you haven't figured out by now, I'm half joking and being very sarcastic. Some of these things might work, some of them might not, you figure it out.

Things That Scare Me

2010-01-02T05:45:00.004-06:00

Not since Namata have I been so scared. Also I am confused as to why he has a PowerPoint presentation being displayed behind him.

I'm not going to talk about the wig on her head. There is so much more wrong with this:

I hate Auto Tune

No Snitch Culture

2010-01-01T14:42:00.002-06:00

1st off Happy New Years Everyone!!!!!!

Tony Harris decided to connect with the youth by talking to some high school students about "snitching." He mentions to them the Derrion Albert case. A sad case of a honor roll student who was beaten to death by a group of kids, and instead of someone going to get help, folks just decided to record the fight so they could put it on youtube for entertainment purposes. The sad part was, he wasn't the target of the fight, he was just walking by, and get swept up in the whole hot mess.

Thankfully the community center close to where this happened had surveillance cameras to film the whole thing, because otherwise there would be no suspects, as it appears no one wanted to snitch. I try to understand this mentality. I do understand instances of not snitching, I really do. I understand that in some instances if you snitch to the police, the police won't offer you protection and you are open to retaliation. Then there is to not snitch just to uphold some type of code and not be a rat. This is ridiculous, most people in life do not live the life of the men in "Goodfellas" or of prison folk. I also find the concept of "jumping" cowardly. Take on a person one on one if you so big and bad ass to fight someone.

These kids in the video echo the same sentiment about snitching, which to me is silly. One fool said they are part of his clique. Really you hang out with some folks bound for prison and you are ok with it? Where the hell are your parents? Then we blame hip hop for the "no snitching" mentality. The problem with that is, not all hip hop is about not snitching. I know these kids know if they get into trouble, Lil' Wayne is not going to go down with them.

Now on a more serious note, Mr. Harris asked a kids a legitimate question. How many of them trusted police officers to handle information. None of them did. That to me is where we really need to focus. If they are like me, their limited experiences with police officers probably aren't all that positive. Sometimes I think the role of the police is to harass and annoy, not protect and serve. Even my husband has been pulled over by police without cause, trying to find something on him or a reason to search his car. I should not my husband and I have never been to jail, we don't typically do illegal things (OK sometimes I speed, I will admit), but our experiences with police officers have not been to be protected by the police officers, but rather as if they are annoyed with us. He then encourages the kids to try to foster a relationship with police, but I would personally find that hard to do as a 33 year old with negative experiences, I can't expect some teens to do the same.

Case and point, when I was 19 or 20 I was rear ended by a drunk driver at a stop sign. The accident was obviously the man's fault. He tried to flee from the scene. If not for the lady behind him witnessing the accident, I would have been screwed. I was upset and the officers were getting annoyed with me because I was freaked out. They then tried to jump my father who immediately came to the scene of the accident when I called him because I guess a tall black man running towards me is scary. It took the police department weeks to even finish the report to submit to insurance, and they treated me as if I were the criminal, while the drunk driver was so incoherent and out of it. They were very rude. I didn't plan for a drunk man to rear end me, he did, and if he wasn't drunk I would have treated this as a normal accident, exchanged insurance and left the police out of it. The lady behind us called the police, and they came pretty much immediately. So the time I needed the police, they acted like they were pissed off I took time out of their day to deal with a drunk driver. My other experiences with the police were just general harassment and annoyance. It always takes about two to three police cars to pull me over for a speeding ticket, so I try my best not to get them (I haven't had one in six years, knock on wood). I've been pulled over in front of my own house for looking suspicious while driving in my own neighborhood. So in my experience the police are nothing but a waste of time and energy, they don't really give a damn about their actual role, but that is just my opinion. I am sure there are wonderful officers out there who really do care about their jobs, I just haven't met them yet.

Mr. Harris then asks if the kids trusts their school officials and teachers, which came with a mixed response. I guess it depends on the teachers. Some teachers they felt would,some wouldn't. That is to be expected, there are some great teachers out there and some really piss poor ones who are there essentially for the pay check.

Overall these kids showed apathy and essentially feel snitching causes more harm than good. I unfortunately can understand that, but where do we draw the line, shouldn't someone have come to the aid of Derrion Albert, at least tried to call the police? How do people foster better relationships with police officers, better yet, how do police officers better foster relationships with the people?

Nightline Reinforces Stereotypes Of Lonely Black Women

2009-12-28T05:32:00.003-06:00

Thanks to Kenichea for showing me this video.

Nightline just did a "poor black woman are lonely and single" story. I just LOVE these. I decided to provide a summary:

I love how we break down the numbers of black men, and we show the quintessential single black women professional and all her lonely single professional black friends.

Then we have Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey is a relationship expert. I guess being a comedian and being married three times makes for great relationship advice. Steve informs us that black women don't need to settle, but rather compromise (read black women need to settle, we're just saying it differently this time).

Then the story completely brushes over interracial dating and pretend that isn't an option at all, as no non-black man will bring you home to his mother. Hell the non-black man who isn't willing to bring you home to his mother, isn't a man worth dating, move on to the next one. That's a whole different blog posting.

So we see Steve Harvey again, this time his advice to all the single professional black women at the table is to get them an old black man. Thanks Steve, we all want a daddy to protect us.

Now that we've solved the single black woman crisis by supplying them with geriatric black men, the race will continue to live on.

::sigh::

If you can't tell, I really don't like these stories. It makes black women, even choice ones seem desperate, lonely, and eager to get a man. Then black women are always told we must "compromise" or "settle". Then we are told we are not coveted and no man of any race really wants us or is willing to date us.

What a confidence booster. It makes me feel good to know even the cream of the crop black women are down trodden and desperate.

Thanks Nightline for reinforcing stereotypes.

Will white men use you?

2009-12-26T14:13:00.003-06:00

It's often been said by comments on this blog that for white men they typically don't approach black women because they think black women are not interested. This video seems to indicate though if a woman pursues a man, especially a man of a different race, she will get rejected. I think she is also saying that black men have an advantage in the interracial dating game because men are typically the pursuers, where as women are expected to wait to be pursued.

This brings up some issues. If you actually show an interest in a man, is this a turn off to the man? Or if you actually pursue a man, does that mean you will end up used? If a black woman pursues a white man or any non black man, will she get rejected, or does this apply to men of any race?

OK I'm Really Mean Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T20:07:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T20:06:00.001-06:00

Chicken Solves All Black Folks Problems

2009-12-24T19:43:00.003-06:00

Being Around black people is awkward. It makes people uncomfortable when there are menacing black people all around, right? Well to solve this problem, just give them some chicken. It calms them down. Chicken solves all black folks problems.

2009-12-22T11:00:00.002-06:00

Do You Think We Could Ever Go Back To This?

2009-12-20T20:30:00.003-06:00

This is some vintage Sesame Street. Jesse Jackson back in the 1970s before he made a complete ass of his self telling children no matter their race, income, or social standing that they are important. The fact that Jesse even mentioned race and the fact Jesse Jackson was even on the show, would cause a big public outcry as pedaling reverse racism to white people and indoctrinating our children into socialism and marxist beliefs.

Hey at least I have this to watch:

Jesse Jackson Reads Seuss - Click here for more blooper videos

Why The "Current War On Christmas" Proves The Media Can't Be Trusted

2009-12-16T14:01:00.004-06:00

I'm sure everyone has heard about the "War On Christmas." You know, "Jesus Is The Reason For The Season" and "You can't take the Christ out of Christmas," or that if you use Xmas instead of Christmas, you are taking Christ out of Christmas. You should also know I'm a Godless liberal/communist/socialist heathen. Because being liberal means you can't be religious, only Godless. It's true because Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck tells us so. The media also tells us that "political correctness" has taken over. We are all living in fear and it's all the fault of the liberals and PC police. Or so people want you to think. I lost faith in our media a long time ago, but it seems things are getting worse and there are less sources of reliable information out there because now we have media trying to compete with Twitter and Facebook instead of actually doing something like finding out the truth.

A few weeks ago I caught Bill O'Reilly. He was upset at the evil liberals spreading their anti-Christian agenda. The American Humanist Association hates baby Jesus and runs down religion because they say you can be a good person without being religious. I will post the ad:

I will also post Bill O'Reilly's response. It doesn't seem all that fair and balanced to me. Isn't that what Fox news is all about?

I missed in the ad where baby Jesus and Christians were run down. Why is proclaiming you don't believe in God an affront to Christmas or Christianity. Jesus wasn't born on December 25th. It's estimated Jesus was born in September. When we celebrate Christmas now falls on the old winter festival of Yule or Yule-Tide.

Now the new outrage. A kid was suspended from school for drawing Jesus. At least that is what his dad said. Comments turned to blaming the left, political correctness, and the evils of diversity. Being accepting of other cultures is an insult to America. Thank Glenn Beck and your coded words of "special interest" and "us vs. them" arguments. A boy drew Jesus on the cross, and per his father he was suspended for the picture and given a psychiatric evaluation. All because his teacher asked him to draw a Christmas picture. Another assault on Christianity.

Then the school came out with a rebuttal to the story. Apparently the picture the media is plastering all over the place is not the picture that got the kid in trouble. He also was never suspended. The teacher never gave an assignment about Christmas. Now the father is backpedaling and unable to return calls.

The media plastered this story all over the place yesterday, but the response from the school seems to be overlooked by the media themselves and the readers. I wonder why?

This is why for the conservatives who say the mainstream media is biased have no leg to stand on. This is why our news industry is failing. Facts no longer matter, you make sure you get the people riled up, even without merit.

What Happened To Tevin Campbell?

2009-12-13T15:43:00.002-06:00

Caster Semenya They Still Don't Know

2009-12-05T05:43:00.003-06:00

I've written about Caster Semenya before here and here. I find it odd that people provided links proving she was a man and indicating she was had to be a man because she is ugly, but yet major newspapers around the world couldn't confirm it. As of November, we still don't know. The IAFF doesn't want to make the results public,but it has been shown that Semenya will get to keep her medal and her prize money, and as it stands right now in the race that set off this whole mess, she ran as a woman. But, I will still get folks proclaiming this woman is a man, and have no problems with the way this whole case, which should have been private, was completely given trashy tabloid treatment all over the world.

South African Runner’s Sex-Verification Result Won’t Be Public
By JERÉ LONGMAN
Published: November 19, 2009
One of the most public and controversial cases of sex verification in sports has apparently been resolved, at least in part, but the answers to some important questions have not been made public.

Fabrice Coffrini/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images
A woman protested outside the International Olympic Committee’s headquarters in Switzerland on Thursday.
Enlarge This Image

Anja Niedringhaus/Associated Press
Caster Semenya won the 800-meter gold medal at the world championships in Berlin.
South Africa’s sports ministry said in a statement Thursday that Caster Semenya, 18, the world champion 800-meter runner, had reached an agreement with track and field’s world governing body to keep the gold medal and prize money she won at the world championships in August.

Most notably, however, the sports ministry did not say whether Semenya would be allowed to continue to compete as a woman. The statement also did not disclose the results of sex-verification tests she had undergone.

“As such, there will be no public announcement of what the panel of scientists has found,” the sports ministry said. “We urge all South Africans and other people to respect this professional, ethical and moral way of doing things.”

Semenya, who attends the University of Pretoria, could not be reached for comment. Her coach, Michael Seme, said in a telephone interview from Pretoria that Semenya “is going to compete as a woman and will remain a woman until she dies.”

Asked whether Semenya had been cleared to compete as a woman without further testing or surgery, Seme said: “I don’t want to talk about that. The only thing I want to say is that I’m happy Caster will retain her title as the fastest 800-meter runner in the world. The most important thing when you are an athlete is to get your medal.”

Disputes in sports over athletes’ sex are rare, and perhaps never has such a case been as volatile as the one that emerged at the world championships, when it became apparent how unprepared her sport was to handle cases of athletes who may have both male and female characteristics.

As Semenya posted the fastest time of the year in the 800 meters, track officials said they had begun sex verification testing on her, but South African officials said that they were blindsided by the claims and insulted that officials had disclosed such private information.

In September, Leonard Chuene, president of Athletics South Africa, apologized for denying knowledge of the sex tests done on Semenya in his country, saying he had hoped to protect her privacy.

After Semenya won the world title, international track officials ordered more tests, saying questions had been raised about her muscular physique and drastic improvement.

Chuene said that tests had been conducted at a Pretoria hospital on Aug. 7 at the behest of track and field’s Monaco-based governing body governing body, the I.A.A.F. Chuene has said that despite medical advice from one of South Africa’s top sports medical officials, he refused to withdraw Semenya from the competition in Berlin because the results of the tests were not yet known.

Athletics South Africa said last month that it had suspended Chuene and the rest of his board.

Sex-determination testing was once obligatory for female athletes at the Olympics because of persistent allegations that some competitors were not really women. Sanctions are very rare. One case came at the 2006 Asian Games, where a middle-distance runner, Santhi Soundarajan of India, was stripped of a silver medal after failing a verification test.

The sex-determination testing was phased out in 1999 because of concerns about inequities. The testing is now reserved for specific cases in Olympic sports.

The testing done on Semenya takes weeks to complete. It requires a physical medical evaluation, and includes reports from a gynecologist, an endocrinologist, a psychologist, an internal medicine specialist and an expert on gender. The effort, coordinated by Dr. Harold Adams, a South African on the I.A.A.F. medical panel, was conducted at hospitals in Berlin and South Africa.

It is unclear what the exact threshold is, in the eyes of the I.A.A.F., for a female athlete’s being ineligible to compete as a woman.

“The implications of the scientific findings on Caster’s health and life going forward will be analyzed by Caster and she will make her own decision on her future,” the sports ministry said. “Whatever she decides, ours is to respect her decision.”

The I.A.A.F., did not immediately respond to the statement made by the South African sports ministry. The statement had been expected to be issued next week.

The South African sports ministry said it had asked for an apology from the I.A.A.F., which denied leaking information about Semenya, but responded, “It is deeply regrettable that information of a confidential matter entered the public domain.”

Makhenkesi Stofile, South Africa’s sports minister, described Semenya as excited about the apparent resolution of her case, according to the South African Press Association.

“She will roll with the punches,” Stofile told the press association. “In my view, Caster Semenya’s future is in her hands. She can decide to run as a woman, which she is.”

The Tiger Woods/Rihanna Comparison

2009-12-04T09:47:00.006-06:00

I knew this was going to happen. I just didn't think so many people would grasp on to it as gospel truth. They think that there is a double standard in domestic violence situations, with men on the losing end of the stick, and Tiger Wood's incident is proof of that. The question we are now hearing is where are the activists now?

Even though I agree there is a double standard in how domestic violence is treated, depending on the victim's gender. This isn't the case.

Let's look at the facts of each case.

Let's start with Tiger:

No one was arrested, the only thing given so far is a ticket to Tiger for careless driving.

Both Tiger and his wife, Elin are hush,hush about their "personal matter"

We haven't seen Tiger's injuries to his face and don't know if they came from the accident or elsewhere.

Now let's look at Rihanna:

Chris Brown was arrested.

Both Rihanna and Chris admit domestic violence did happen.

We have pictures of Rihanna's injuries.

I don't know how we can compare the two, except that for some, Tiger is the more "innocent victim" than Rihanna. Tiger has admitted to some "transgressions" that impacted his marriage. The extent of these transgressions are unknown.

Per many fans of Chris Brown, Rihanna pushed Chris Brown and he could take no more. She might have given him an STD, or she was cheating on him, or she started arguing with him because he got a phone call from another woman. None of these things have been proven, no one has admitted anything of the sort.

Even if Rihanna gave him herpes, talked about his momma, and had a three way between two men right in front of him, there is no justification for the injuries she received from Chris Brown. Even if she hit back, if he hit first, he is the one going to jail in most states. That's just how it typically works.

For some reason though, with those considering this a double standard, with admitted "transgressions", Tiger was the innocent one and Elin had no right to hit him. Which is true. The problem is in this scenario, we don't know what happened.

Now another thing I don't understand is Rihanna released an album and had the audacity to talk about her experience, which to some meant she was exploiting her experience. Women write bestselling books all the time alleging abuse, and they don't do it as therapy. They do it for money. How do we know she wasn't working on that album or scheduled to work on that album before the incident. She started recording the album in March of 2009, the incident occurred February 2009. Maybe the production and song writing started a mere month before the accident, so why are you upset she is promoting her album?

Let's talk about domestic violence against men. It is more common than we care to admit. Apparently 76 out of 1,000 males are victims of physical assault and/or rape by their spouses. It is also known that men are less likely to identify their attacker. Those are sad numbers, no person regardless of gender should be assaulted or beaten by their partner, and no one should excuse such behavior.

Yes, the number of women being victims of domestic abuse is higher, which is why in our society when we see domestic abuse, it is a woman that comes to mind, not to mention in our society there are strict gender roles. Women are supposed to be the weaker sex, men, at least men back in the day were told never to hit girls. I think this is changing looking at the reactions about Rihanna on twitter.

So yes, there is a double standard when it comes to men and women and domestic violence, but this isn't the case with the comparisons being made to Tiger Woods and Rihanna.

I also find it odd with the Rihanna and Chris Brown case, we were supposed to wait for the facts outside the picture and the arrest, but with Tiger, we are to go full steam ahead about what happened.

Case and point:

Thanks Mr. NoFace for this one.

Why R-Uh?????

2009-12-01T09:47:00.003-06:00

I want you all to listen to this song. Listen carefully. I know the demographic of this blog doesn't need to be told this, but just in case, I will give this warning: IF A MAN COMES UP TO YOU AND INDICATES THAT HE WANTS TO GET YOU PREGNANT BECAUSE HE THINKS YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE, RUN FAR AWAY FROM HIM.

Now I was done with R. Kelly by the mid 1990s when a woman reminded him of a Jeep.

I was even more done with him peeing on kids.

I just wish this man would go away.

I'm A Horrible Blogger

2009-11-30T06:59:00.002-06:00

I'm sure many people would agree with that. They think I must suck complete ass. I'm a sucky blogger because as of late, I've been lazy. I'm uninspired. I'm running out of ideas. I'm also extremely hormonal (thanks p17 shots) and stuck on bed rest until my due date. I'm not set to deliver this child until March. I've been in the hospital. I might be going back, so yeah I'm sucking right now. This baby better love me. Between the surgery, hospitalization, weekly ass shots, and bed rest, I'm going a bit crazy. This child better stick around.

I promise I will try to improve on my piss poor blogging as of late. In the mean time, anyone have any books to recommend. In particular books on history, religion (a comparative analysis, not the religious texts themselves), or political theory. I'm currently reading a book on Ayn Rand. I can't stand the heffa or her philosophy, but I find it an interesting read.

Hugging Is Sinful?-Christians Yall Need To Get Your Folks Off The Stage

2009-11-24T08:53:00.007-06:00

Christian Side Hug from The Fathers House on Vimeo.

I've never known it to be considered sinful to hug in the traditional sense. Like this:

I might give you the side eye if you hug like this:

::Warning might not be safe for work::

::giving you scroll warning::

It might not be right, but if you are greased down and hugging, I just find that sexual. Otherwise, I never thought of hugs in general to be sexual. They can be sexual, but when I hug my momma, my daddy, and sometimes even my husband, sex isn't entering my mind.

I'm curious about this video, why are there gun shots and an ambulance in the song. Why is it cool to be considered a "rough rider", as I thought Ruff Ryders disappeared circa 1998.

DMX- Ruff Ryders anthem
Uploaded by xkeyta. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Are rabbis and priests excluded from this rule of no front hugging? What are these folks thinking if their aunt hugs them at Thanksgiving dinner, does it really give them impure thoughts?

Does Angelina Jolie buy babies? Is it a diss to adopt children now? I didn't know it was out of vogue to adopt, I will tell my parents next time I talk to them.

Did anyone notice the boo as Obama's name is mentioned, because we all know he's the anti-christ. Also I don't quit understand why folks are mentioning the Democratic shift in the Congress. I mean what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

I didn't know Jesus thought hugs were sinful either.

What this video taught me, co-opting thug and hip hop culture, getting shot, and side hugs are ok; but regular full frontal hugs and adoption are completely evil.

I'm a nasty heffa I guess. I hug folks all the time.

Black People Aren't Marketable In International Markets

2009-11-19T11:07:00.003-06:00

Do you notice anything differences in the two pictures above?

Yeah some other folks noticed too. Apparently in international markets films with black people don't do very well. Mind you, it is understandable that the two black actors aren't as well known as some of the other actors, but is Kristen Bell or Malin Akerman international stars? Why not put Jean Reno on the poster, he is well known in France and other European countries?

Why is that even Will Smith as big as he is in America doesn't fare well with international audiences.

I guess I am perplexed because there seems to be this notion that America is a racist country, but other places are more enlightened? Any other countries more enlightened or just racist in a different way?

What Color Is Obama Exactly And Why Does It Bother People He Chooses To Be Black?

2009-11-19T08:39:00.005-06:00

I recently came across a blog posting written by Juana Bimba titled "What Color Is Obama? It Depends On Where You Stand." It rubbed me the wrong way a little bit, and it could be my racism coming out, but it seemed to completely ignore the history of race and race relations in America, and downplay the racism that occurs all over the world, particularly in hispanic nations. Since I couldn't comment there, I decided to comment here. Please read the post I am responding to here.

No, really. Because if you’re standing, say, in Minnesota, then Barack Obama is definitely Black. But if you stand in the Dominican Republic or, for that matter, anywhere else in Latin America, then he’s not Black, but Brown. An important distinction.

The problem with this is many "non-biracial" blacks would be considered this as well. I find it kind of hard to understand why people of other races try to define Obama as biracial or multiracial, when he himself identifies as black.

To begin with, Latinos see race differently, because we realize that in the world, there are different takes on race.

There are different takes on race, but to deny the history of America and pretend that race here does not matter or has no impact on our present does nothing to help race relations in America.

But Latinos, by and large, are an aggregate of in-betweens, and that’s how we see ourselves. We also believe in an individual's right, within reason, to call him or herself whatever he or she wants.

I don't necessarily think this is true, I look at the economic disparities between the latinos of slave ancestry and their lighter hued counterparts in many parts of Latin and South America, the fact that blackface can still be found on hispanic stations, that people don't understand why Memin Pinguin might be considered offensive, or why folks like Vicente Fox can make comments about Mexicans taking jobs even blacks won't do, that many of the darker persuasion are denied "professional jobs" based on skin hue, or denied access to certain clubs make me think that many hispanics are race conscious and that there are racial lines established, regardless of ancestry. I don't think that on the whole looking at these experiences folks are considering themselves "in-betweens." I already know that per some American hispanics like Fernando C. de Baca that hispanics, per him consider themselves above blacks, because blacks came here as slaves and hispanics came here a conquerors.

And that he did so because, among other things, it was politically expedient. So he joined a Black Church, married a woman much darker than himself, and began working with Chicago’s Black community.

So he could not have made the decision to be identified as black for social and societal experiences that aligned him more with the black community? Was it strictly politics that made his decision? When he met Michelle, how do we know he even had political aspirations to become a Senator, much less President? Could he not be attracted to a college educated, fit, attractive darker hued woman, simply because he was attracted to her? I think that is where the frustration lies, placing the blame of racial identification on American blacks, when in fact, many American whites, hispanics, and asians embrace and accept these definitions as well. I've met many biracial people in my lifetime who have white family members who do not acknowledge them, that deal with the racism that I deal with, and who if you go on appearances alone, could look black. I think your argument also fails to acknowledge that in America, blacks with slave ancestry are overwhelmingly mixed with other, mostly white, and some Native American. It's a fact that many white Americans fail to acknowledge as well.

Even Tiger Woods who has embraced his biracial identity has dealt with racism, and most of it had nothing to do with his asian, native, or white ancestry. The Fuzzy Zoeller comments begging Tiger not to order fried chicken and collard greens come to mind.

African Americans themselves later adopted the “one-drop rule” as a way to ensure political unity in the group (or prevent the lighter-skinned from defecting to the White side).

This comment completely ignores the fact that whites weren't willing to embrace lighter skinned blacks into their homes and families, except in instances of servitude and that lighter hued blacks were often seen as leaders in the black community, and openly embraced. Again, lighter hued blacks weren't necessarily forced into choosing black by other blacks, but by whites.

While Blackness is an absolute in America, Whiteness is an added value, with Whites deciding who profits. Meaning, it has always been Whites who decide who’s White and can benefit from all privileges thereto attached.

This I agree with, but I would venture to say this doesn't just happen in America.

For Latinos, the rules of race are very simple: you are what you look like. Go to the mirror: if a White individual stares back, then you’re White. Even if your parents were not. For us, there’s no such thing as “passing”, because if you LOOK Caucasian, then you are. End of discussion.

Is that actually true though. I get mistaken as something other than black all the time, but there are times people have no problem making out that I'm black, so where in the context of race would I fit?

This is why Latinos so resent the pressures of racial labeling in the United States, and conversely, why our take on race confounds others. We bring a totally different perspective to this subject—and also the belief that we‘re entitled to our own views, that self-definition is a personal right, and that nobody else should try to mess with it on behalf of group politics.

Is it really group politics, or societal standards that have made things this way? This article seems to blame blacks for the racial designations in this country and that blacks are determined to hold on to the one drop rule, when in reality whites, hispanics, and asians do this as well, and not just in America.

RIP Edward Woodward

2009-11-16T07:04:00.000-06:00

I'm Not A Real Wife-NSFW

2009-11-15T10:15:00.007-06:00

Twitter is at it again, on Friday a trending topic was born, #arealwife. Now I asked my husband what he thought a real wife was, and thankfully his definition falls in line with mine, but according to some, I'm not a real wife:

If a man beats me, I'm going to snitch. Maybe you shouldn't be concerned with snitching, but maybe some anger management classes or therapy. No person should ever have to take a beating from their spouse, that isn't being a good spouse, but being a victim of abuse.

I'm all about being submissive, at times, just like my husband is submissive towards me. That is part of compromise, sometimes you take a step back and let the other lead, but you don't do it without question and one spouse does not have authority over another.

I am sorry, but I didn't go to college and get a job for the sole purpose of cooking. If I wanted to cook, I would be a chef. I cook for my husband because I want to cook for him, not because it is required of me. My husband sometimes cooks for me.

I thought give and take was part of every relationship, I guess I was wrong.

I didn't know my purpose in life as a wife was to fuck and feed my husband. I thought I had other qualities and characteristics he found attractive outside that realm. Yes I like to cook, yes we have sex, but I thought marriage was more than cooking and sex. I also thought my husband was actually interested me and my opinions, maybe I was wrong.

If my husband has to go to another "bitch" because he isn't getting sex from me, than there are other issues to discuss such as, why is he not getting sex from me? Am I frigid? Is he doing something I don't like? Maybe I'm sick or actually have a headache? If I don't "suck the shit out cha dick" properly, I would really like for my husband to at least be able to talk to me about it. If I am casual enough with you to put your penis in my mouth, we can have a conversation about what I do when said penis is in my mouth.

My husband has never asked this of me. I am glad, I don't think I could buy my husband a lap dance and watch some other woman dance for him topless. It might make me uncomfortable. Much like I don't think my husband would be cool with some man gyrating his crotch in my face. Maybe we are insecure, or maybe, just maybe, we don't partake in strip clubs? Crazy I know as all men are supposed to love strip clubs, but my husband does not. It kind of creeps him out.

Uuuhhhhmmmmm NO. If my husband is having "downlow" relations with another woman, and I find out, more than likely I will not be sticking by him, as I would feel betrayed. I did not sign up for an open or polyamorous relationship, so that is not something that is going to work for me. I know this sounds horrible, but I don't understand the purpose of having an exclusive relationship, unless it is monogamous. That is my belief system though, if others are ok with this so be it.

I think the thing that amazed me about these comments were the fact that many came from women. I wonder if they are married, or if they are single and trying to impress some internet men. I think it is also scary to see these comments because I thought the younger generation of men and women had left misogyny behind, but it seems it is out in full force. What causes this archaic view of women in the year 2009?

As Long As You're Cute And Can SANG, Domestic Violence Is The Fault Of The Victim

2009-11-13T09:07:00.004-06:00

I'm sorry I haven't been posting. I've been away for a few days, but I'm back. I was able to moderate comments and tweet from my phone, so I know this is late, but I had to discuss it.

This is Rihanna sharing her account of what happened between her and Chris Brown. Chris Brown responds to the interview. In the defense of Chris Brown, he at least owned up to what he did. He didn't make excuses or try to play it off like Rihanna is to blame for the situation.

For Hip Hop News & Entertainment at DimeWars.Com

Now let's go to the fans. I can say I'm not a fan of either. I am a bit old for Rihanna and Chris Brown. Now when the story first came out, the first thing folks wanted to say is let's get both sides, as if there is a legitimate reason for beating the hell out of a woman. The police department got enough of both sides to arrest Chris' ass. The pictures of Rihanna's face show what Chris did, but we still want to hear both sides of the story? Then we got the "Rihanna must have done something to Chris" first argument. That she was pushing him mentally or physically and he just snapped. Apparently abuse is ok, if you are pushed to do it.

Now I understand good music or being a fan of someone will cause you to overlook abuse, but honestly, why now is it that Chris Brown fans are going around hating on Rihanna as if she is the cause for all of his issues? You know I was on twitter, and the comments from the Chris Brown fans are crazy and make no sense to me. I understand you like Chris' music, but what did Rihanna do to you? Maybe his fans enjoy beat downs or think domestic abuse is ok as long as you have a good album?

Oh yeah, I forgot, when it comes to situations between black women and black men, black women are always at fault.

Black Students Told To Act Like Slaves

2009-11-09T06:41:00.006-06:00

I remember being one of few black children growing up in my schools. Whenever we mentioned any type of black history we talked about slavery and the Civil Rights Movement. This usually occurred in February. This usually entailed white people being upset and or crying at the horrible practice of slavery and personal apologies to me as if I was personally a slave. As a person who has never been a slave, I just looked at them crazy and went on. I was uncomfortable about talking about slavery because I knew those kids always saw me differently, and looking back now, that discomfort came from the fact that these kids were influenced by parents, grandparents, and vast other relatives who had views of black people based upon the concept that we were slaves, and then after that inferior enough to need to be segregated from. They knew I was different, I was other, and even if they would never admit it less than in many cases of my classmates. The same ones who were shocked I was in advanced/honors classes, that I didn't live in a ghetto, that my parents were degreed and expected me to go to college, and that I didn't fit into the black "stereotype" they expected most black people to be.

Recently, a black historian at Latta Plantation in N.C., Ian Campbell decided to uphold historical accuracy by choosing three black kids out of a majority white 5th grade class to put a bag on their shoulders and pick cotton. Some parents at the school were upset. Mr. Campbell, the historian felt that he wanted to be historically accurate instead of politically correct. You know my feelings on the political correctness scapegoat.

I wonder if Mr. Campbell thought of other ways to discuss slavery. Like showing how hard slavery was, or retelling the account of a slave through a slave narrative, or did he go all out and make some of the white students overseers complete with whips?

Did Mr. Campbell have no other options to express historical accuracy without singling out black children to pick cotton? Did he not think it would make them uncomfortable? Did he not think that now these kids are going around thinking that black folks did nothing in the span of American history but be slaves and pick cotton?

I understand you want historical accuracy, and I know Mr. Campbell is black, but does his blackness make his actions ok, or less racist?

Here is a link of Campbell defending his actions.

The Terrorist Talk Comes Out

2009-11-07T05:37:00.005-06:00

This is the Larry King Show discussing the horrible events that happened at Fort Hood. This was before they had much information on the shooter, and most of the information given was speculative.

Notice Shoshana Johnson challenges Tom Keniff, and he is quick to question her experience and authority, but not Dr. Phil. She is a POW of the Iraq War. She was shot in the ankle and held captive from March 25, 2003 to April 13, 2003 . She has PTSD. She and Dr. Phil agreed that using the shooter's last name (Nidal Malik Hasan) to determine if this was a terrorist act was irresponsible. It was, we have no proof he had any ties to any extremist Islamic groups.

I find it odd that Tom Keniff was quick to say he was a veteran of the Iraq War, and then question if Ms. Johnson had ever been to Iraq.

I wasn't surprised her authority was questioned by this man, it seems typical that whenever you are a woman, in particular a woman of color, this is the norm in the workplace and in schools. He assumed she was just a low level no one, who had no idea what was going on. It turns out she had more credibility than him.

I also find it odd that whenever a Muslim person commits a crime, it is assumed it is an act of terrorism, but he isn't the first soldier to shoot fellow soldiers at a military base. We should also note that Hasan is an American born citizen. What he did was horrible, but why must we put racial stereotypes on his motives? What motives did Dean Mellberg have? Or Timothy McVeigh? What was the motive of a fellow soldier killing five other soldiers earlier this year in Camp Liberty, Iraq? Did their last names make it any easier to speculate the motives of their horrible acts?

Facebook Republicans Keeping It Classy

2009-11-06T07:03:00.002-06:00

Note to Republicans: Please take your crazies off the porch, and put them in the house and hide them.

The RNC just lets fools post whatever the want on their facebook page, and only took them down because someone called them out on it.

I guess the biggest fear is that if a black man and white women have a child, the child will do something horrible like become President of the United States of America.

Thanks Zirgar for showing me this.

Things Darkies Say

2009-11-05T01:51:00.011-06:00

Yesterday on twitter, there was a trending topic that threw people completely off. It was the number one trending topic on twitter, and from all appearances, I was appalled. The trending topic was #thingsdarkiessay . Now I'm an American, you can't call me darkie, I can't call white folks whitey. It's an old school derogatory word for black folks. Apparently in other parts of the world, particularly in South Africa, it doesn't have a negative connotation. The topic was started by a black South African, it was intended to make fun of stereotypes.

#thingsdarkiessay : Started in South Africa, where "darkie" does not have the same negative connotations as it does in the United States, as a joke about stereotypes. It has since cause controversy including being removed from the list of Trending Topics by Twitter and the hashtag #SouthAfricansArePissed

Of course from an American context darkie means :

darky, darkie, darkey [ˈdɑːkɪ]
n pl darkies, darkeys Informal
1. an offensive word for a Black
2. Austral an offensive word for a native Australian

In other parts of the world, the term Darkie is associated with black people as well, and we have the asians who associate darkies with nice, white teeth:

As a result culture wars started. Black Americans, like myself were outraged, angry, and looking at it from the perspective of Stormfront invading Twitter. I was steady scratching my head because from first appearances from the stream of trending topics, I saw tweets like these:

I see this, I'm ready to curse out folks. These people aren't from South Africa, they're not black, and they are using black American stereotypes. Doesn't seem all that innocent of a trending topic.

A culture war ensued. South Africans were upset saying that Americans shouldn't be offended, and that America was pushing it's own morals on the rest of the world, like usual. Twitter removed the tag from it's top listings. It was still possible to contribute to the #thingsdarkiessay debate, it just wasn't listed on the trending topics list. The hashtag #SouthAfricansArePissed arose as a result. I guess in many South Africans minds, removal of this from the trending topics list was another case of American Imperialism. Then the whole stereotypes of black people get upset over "any little thing" and are "culturally ignorant" came forth to further ensure that there would be more tension and more divide.

I don't understand why it is cool to refer to yourself as a "darkie", much like I don't understand when people refer to themselves as "niggas." I just don't do that, it is offensive to me, and the biggest reason it was trending was because it got people in an uproar. I understand that "darkie" as a derogatory term does not apply to South Africans, but I know that the word "kaffir" or "nig nog" does. It doesn't mean I should go around using these words, even if they don't have any impact on my personally. I have no negative connotation to "kaffir", "nig nog", or many other words used around the world to refer to black people, because they don't personally impact me. I think that if you are using a global platform to express your opinions, you shouldn't be shocked when someone from another culture or region of the world might find something you say as offensive, strange, or just down right mean, especially if what you say takes on a different meaning in that part of the world.

I think this debate to be about ethnocentrism. The question now is who are being ethnocentric, the black Americans or the South Africans?

I think what angered me most is the South Africans were outraged at the black Americans having issues with the term "darkie", but not outraged at non South Africans using it in a derogatory way to stereotype and offend black Americans, taking "darkie" out of the "African pride" context they were proclaiming. They seemed more upset and focused on the "Us vs. Them" mentality of which blacks are better or more enlightened.

Again, it goes to show that just because we share a complexion, does not mean we share the same culture.

Halloween Tribute To Duane Jones

2009-10-31T20:13:00.003-05:00

Perhaps most of you are too young to know who Duane Jones is, or maybe you just don't know him because he pretty much just starred in low budget horror films, but Duana Jones is a cult figure. He is significant because he was the first African American cast as a hero in a mainstream horror film, and that film is the classic Night of the Living Dead. He was also noted as the first African American actor to star as a non-ethnic lead in a major motion picture for the same movie.

It should be noted that Duane Jones should be known as Dr. Duane Jones. he taught acting at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts and was a professor of theater at State University of New York at Old Westbury.

Happy Halloween!!!!!!

Black Happiness-Tasha Reid aka Yoon Mi Rae

2009-10-31T11:07:00.000-05:00

* Black Happiness by Tasha

My skin was dark from my past
People used to point at me
Even at my mom Even at my dad who was black, and in the army
People whisper behind my back
Said this and said that
I always had tears in my eyes
Although I was young
I saw my mother's sadness

Everything
seemed like it was my fault
Because of my guilt
I washed my face everytime during the day
With my tears I melt the white soap
I always hated my dark skin
why O why
Does the world judge me
When I hate the world
I close my eyes

I put my soul into the music my father gave me
I feel the volume
And fly higher and higher
Far away
la musique

(When I hate the world)
(Music soothes me)
(you gotta hold on)
(and love yourself)
(When I hate the world)
(Music raises me up)
(so you gotta be strong)
(you gotta hold on)
(and love yourself)

Time passed and I was thirteen
My skin was dark brown
Music doesn't judge color
They give me light
I lead my music
We lean on eachother
I don't feel lonely
Then one day
I was given a chance
I held on to my microphone

And suddenly I was on stage
I say goodbye to music and ask it to come back
Then I became nineteen
I have to lie
I put white makeup over my face
They told me to wear a mask
They said my mom's race was okay
But not my dad's
Every year my age was nineteen
During times when time stopped

I felt like I was in jail
And I leaned on myself
I spent endless, painful days
I ignored their warnings
And because I missed music
I tried to escape
But no, I got caught
I prayed all night
And now I'm free

Blackface Has Made A Comeback-Thanks Tyra!!!!

2009-10-30T14:07:00.008-05:00

Tyra should know better. Making it "biracialface" instead of "blackface" doesn't change that it is still stupid as hell. Skin color is not an option or clothing choice. It is emotionally charged and Tyra of all people should know that. Now we will have idiots supporting blackface with the old addage "black people do it too" excuse to justify stupidity and racism. How long has this show been on the air, isn't it like on it's 800th season? It's obvious they are running out of ideas.

There is a huge complaint that within the fashion industry there is a lack of diversity in the models used. I guess this is how they resolve the problem, instead of using actual people of color as models, we just paint some existing (mostly white) models up, and diversity has been achieved. Racism in the fashion industry has been eliminated. Thanks Tyra!!!!!

'America's Next Top Model' Cycle 13: Biracial Photoshoot, Ravishing or Racist?

Last night on America's Next Top Model, Tyra took the final 6 models to Hawaii, where they underwent 'transformations' to embody two distinct ethnic heritages for a 'hapa'-inspired photo shoot.

Since the final photos of the models--who each donned darker hair, painted skin, and color-corrective contact lenses to take on the various ethnic looks--hit the web yesterday, a debate is waging about whether the photo shoot is an intentional publicity stunt (perhaps meant to play off of French Vogue's recent Blackface spread that sparked much outrage), an innocent (and some might say successful) attempt to celebrate Hawaii's diversity, or just another poorly advised photo shoot from Ms. Banks, just as insulting in its ignorant conception as its offensive execution.

After all, it's not the first time Tyra has come under fire for telling her ANTM models to act out something in poor taste--and this time, without so much as a word during the show about the possible repercussions of putting white models in exotic costumes and dark makeup. Such a stunt treads dangerous ground--even for Tyra, who frequently breaches the topic of race on her talk show and often firmly, openly denounces behavior she believes is discriminatory. As a black woman, does she have greater license to commission such work?

I don't have all the answers, but I do know that Tyra has a greater responsibility than most--especially as a role model to young women--to encourage education and respect among women of all cultures. It's certainly not for me to say whether Tyra's intentions with this photo shoot were to do so or not, especially because such an argument is squarely beside the point. It's the result we should be concerned about--as in, how Tyra's many diverse viewers--Black, White, Asian, Latina, and everyone in between--responded to the 'hapa' photo shoot.

Did you find the photo shoot inspiring, beautiful, and celebratory--or insulting, offensive and demeaning of other cultures?

Are people just being too sensitive--or was a little more sensitivity needed in avoiding this tasteless stunt?

Who Else Can We Offend?

2009-10-26T21:02:00.001-05:00

I Guess Martin And Marcos Are Hard To Pronounce?

2009-10-26T08:05:00.005-05:00

I understand a boss if he has a preference that his employees speak English while working, but to demand they change their names to sound more "Anglican"? Can a boss tell you to change your name? If your name was Trevion or Keisha would he have the right to change your name to sound more "white", even those these names are considered uniquely American, but black American? I don't find Marcos or Martin hard names to pronounce. Neither are Juan or Rosa. Will having a hispanic name detract people from using your business? Does refusing to change your name to something more "white sounding" give a boss the right to fire his employees? If he had white employees would he require Sebastian or Katherine to change their names if they were hard to pronounce?

Even if the employees choose to speak their language on their lunch break, does a boss have a right to demand you speak English to ensure you aren't talking bad about him or her?

Hotel Owner Tells Hispanic Workers To Change Names

By MELANIE DABOVICH, Associated Press Writer
14 mins ago

TAOS, N.M. – Larry Whitten marched into this northern New Mexico town in late July on a mission: resurrect a failing hotel.
The tough-talking former Marine immediately laid down some new rules. Among them, he forbade the Hispanic workers at the run-down, Southwestern adobe-style hotel from speaking Spanish in his presence (he thought they'd be talking about him), and ordered some to Anglicize their names.

No more Martin (Mahr-TEEN). It was plain-old Martin. No more Marcos. Now it would be Mark.
Whitten's management style had worked for him as he's turned around other distressed hotels he bought in recent years across the country.

The 63-year-old Texan, however, wasn't prepared for what followed.

His rules and his firing of several Hispanic employees angered his employees and many in this liberal enclave of 5,000 residents at the base of the Sangre de Cristo mountains, where the most alternative of lifestyles can find a home and where Spanish language, culture and traditions have a long and revered history.

"I came into this landmine of Anglos versus Spanish versus Mexicans versus Indians versus everybody up here. I'm just doing what I've always done," he says.

Former workers, their relatives and some town residents picketed across the street from the hotel.

"I do feel he's a racist, but he's a racist out of ignorance. He doesn't know that what he's doing is wrong," says protester Juanito Burns Jr., who identified himself as prime minister of an activist group called Los Brown Berets de Nuevo Mexico.

The Virginia-born Whitten had spent 40 years in the hotel business, turning around more than 20 hotels in Texas, Oklahoma, Florida and South Carolina, before moving with his wife to Taos from Abilene, Texas. He had visited Taos before, and liked its beauty. When Whitten saw that the Paragon Inn was up for sale, he jumped at it.

The hotel sits along narrow, two-lane Paseo del Pueblo, where souped-up lowriders radiate a just-waxed gleam in the soft sunshine as they cruise past centuries-old adobe buildings. One recent afternoon, a woman slowly rode her fat-tire bicycle along a cracked sidewalk, oversized purple butterfly wings on her back and a breeze blowing her long, blonde dreadlocks.

The community includes Taos Pueblo, an American Indian dwelling inhabited for over 1,000 years, and an adobe Catholic church made famous in a Georgia O'Keeffe painting.

After he arrived, Whitten met with the employees. He says he immediately noticed that they were hostile to his management style and worried they might start talking about him in Spanish.

"Because of that, I asked the people in my presence to speak only English because I do not understand Spanish," Whitten says. "I've been working 24 years in Texas and we have a lot of Spanish people there. I've never had to ask anyone to speak only English in front of me because I've never had a reason to."

Some employees were fired, Whitten says, because they were hostile and insubordinate. He says they called him "a white (N-word)."

Fired hotel manager Kathy Archuleta says the workers initially tried to adjust to his style. "We had already gone through four or five owners before him, so we knew what to expect," Archuleta says. "I told (the workers) we needed to give him a chance."

Then Whitten told some employees he was changing their Spanish first names. Whitten says it's a routine practice at his hotels to change first names of employees who work the front desk phones or deal directly with guests if their names are difficult to understand or pronounce.

"It has nothing to do with racism. I'm not doing it for any reason other than for the satisfaction of my guests, because people calling from all over America don't know the Spanish accents or the Spanish culture or Spanish anything," Whitten says.

Martin Gutierrez, another fired employee, says he felt disrespected when he was told to use the unaccented Martin as his name. He says he told Whitten that Spanish was spoken in New Mexico before English. "He told me he didn't care what I thought because this was his business," Gutierrez says.

"I don't have to change my name and language or heritage," he says. "I'm professional the way I am."

After the firings, the New Mexico chapter of the League of United Latin American Citizens, a national civil rights group, sent Whitten a letter, raising concerns about treatment of Hispanic workers. Whitten says he sent them a letter and posted messages on the hotel marquee, alleging that the group referred to him with a racial slur. LULAC denied the charge.

The messages and comments he made in interviews with local media, including referring to townsfolk as "mountain people" and "potheads who escaped society," further enflamed tensions.

Taos Mayor Darren Cordova says Whitten wasn't doing anything illegal. But he says Whitten failed to better familiarize himself with the town and its culture before deciding to buy the hotel for $2 million. "Taos is so unique that you would not do anything in Taos that you would do elsewhere," he says.

Whitten grew subdued as a two-hour interview with The Associated Press progressed. He said he was sorry for the
misunderstanding and insisted he has never been against any culture.

"What kind of fool or idiot or poor businessman would I be to orchestrate this whole crazy thing that's costed me a lot of time, money and aggravation?" Whitten said.

Whitten should have dealt with the situation differently, especially in a majority Hispanic town, said 71-year-old Taos artist Ken O'Neil, while sipping his afternoon coffee on the town's historic plaza.

"To make demands like he did just seems over the top," he says. "Nobody won here. It's not always about winning. Sometimes, it's about what you learn."

Living Colour-Cult of Personality/Fishbone-Every Day Sunshine

2009-10-25T21:34:00.002-05:00

Living Colour - Cult Of Personality
Uploaded by krematoria. - Sitcom, sketch, and standup comedy videos.

What ever happened to Living Colour?

Fishbone - Everyday Sunshine (Official Music Video) - The best bloopers are here

What happened to Fishbone

Telling White People The Truth

2009-10-25T06:59:00.002-05:00

White Privilege and Quotas Outlined

2009-10-23T09:20:00.000-05:00